Hey guys, I've never got exactly how to go about going from "seeing each other" to "dating".

Now we've all seen those dates that people post as when theyre relationship started. I've personally never done that I've never even taken it upon myself to make it "official". But now it's time to go ahead with it and take the leap into a managonous(sp) relationship.

The only way to do that is by making the girl feel good about herself when she is with you. It is up to you to not act needy or clingly. It is up to you to touch her in the right spot at the right time. It is up to you to keep her comfortable then uncomfortable with the right timing. You can learn all of that. Or you can just be yourself. Whatever is easier.

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Walk Hard

magnum45 I'm not sure how much that helps. Are you still trying to "take down pickup arts"?

Carlos, there's more you're not saying. Somehow you know it's time to make it official - how do you know? And then you want to but you don't. What goes through your head?

The way things become official really depends greatly on the circumstance, it's always a very unique thing in my experience. Basically you keep alluding things to each other and giving signals and seeing the responses... so that's why I want to know more specifically what's going on.

no not really.

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Walk Hard

This is a good questions.

I think every guy has wondered this at some point when he meets a girl that he clicks with and continues to hang out with.

Men tend to want things to be black and white, either we are together or we are not together. Women have no problem dwelling in that gray middle area between being together and not.

First of all, making something official is the least important aspect of a relationship.

If you agree to be exclusive, that is you don't date or see anyone else, then you are effectively an official couple.

But at the same time I have been with women who want exclusivity but then don't consider themselves my girlfriend. It is rather complicated.

I say you follow these guidelines and you should always be fine.

1) Have sex first. No matter what. Have sex. If you continue to have sex after that, then chances are SHE will bring up the relationship.

2) If you are having sex and she doesn't bring up the relationship, why bring it up? Why would you WANT a relationship if you are getting sex?

All in all, it isn't ever the guys job to bring up a relationship. If a girl isn't having sex with you, get rid of her because she probably isn't all that into you. If she is making you wait until a relationship for sex that is either a game, time honored bullshit or she has high moral standards, all of which are rather undesirable in my opinion.

I think there is a lot to be said about a natural progression into an "official relationship" but it really shouldn't matter. If it is what you both want, then it will just come up, but from the guy prospective, SEX is what you gauge a interest level by. Sex is the highest form of IOI there can be. That is what it is all about for us, no matter what anyone tells you. Everything else is just an added bonus or a rationalization.

So focus on the sex, if your having sex, a relationship is for HER to decide and suggest. This is always the best method because you shouldn't want a relationship. All a relationship is should be for a man is free sex whenever he wants. If you get that anyways, why do you want a relationship?

We have all fallen victim to thinking that you need a relationship to be having sex. That just isn't true, it is social conditioning and a mindset that should be erased. Women will sleep with you if you have game and the right belief system before you even consider being exclusive or in an "official relationship" That is the goal.

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Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.

That is really good advice. I would agree a lot with "have sex" because it's becoming clear to me that if you don't at least KISS by the 2nd date, she will lose interest. I've tried moving fast and moving slow. And so far, for me, moving fast has been always for the best. I've heard you shouldn't sleep with a girl on the first date, but I don't think that's always true.

We have had sex, and though I haven't met the family they do know we're seeing each other.

I've agreed with casthenova, today I realized that I've got it made, great convorsations, great physically. Now why would I want to ruin this by "making it official" the whole world doesn't need to know that we'e involved the second they look at us.

Thanks guys.

casthenova - Just as an experiment, I showed a long time female friend of mine that post of yours (cause I can trust her to cope with something confrontational) just to see what she thought.

She wasn't very open to it. She said it was very sexist, and said that guys don't just care about sex. My point of view is - sure we don't only care about sex, but there must be some truth in what he's saying, because the times I've brought up relationships or alluded to it, the girl has run away screaming. But the times I just had sex and let things cruise and she brought up the relationship, is the longest relationships I've ever had.
She hasn't replied to that yet.

So I think it's true but no girl would admit it.

Carlos, that is exactly the right mindset. Good job buddy. Just enjoy her, keep things physical, fun interesting and unpredictable. Be the best guy out there for yourself and for her and always remember that this relationship can end at any minute. She'll bring it up eventually or maybe not. Either way the "relationship" is the least of your concerns.
Yes sir.

And the thing about it is, women don't even know any of this outright. Most of the time they will just be thinking about you and feeling attraction towards you but won't know why. You've heard of backwards rationalization? That REASONING behind her attraction she couldn't possibly know so she makes up things in her own mind.

She wants to believe men don't just care about sex, so to her they don't. She wants to believe it is about "love, connection, intimacy" and whatever other fantasy the movies have driven into our brains. Admitting its about wild dirty sex would grind against her social conditioning, and she can't break down her little view of reality.

Besides, go ask a woman what she wants in a man. She'll tell you a bunch of cliche qualities that every girl wants. Then a guy will come up who has all those qualities but is a giant wuss and she won't even give him the time of day.

Women don't know anything about what they want or really the truth about dating and love. They respond to the FITTEST individual, just like any other animal. They live in a fantasy world just like the rest of us, although they have all the options. Except when a guy comes along who realizes HE has all the options. Then she chases, only because if he believes this about himself, he must have more value and she wants the guy with the most value for her evolutionary needs.

We manipulate ourselves into thinking we have some imagined shortage. Isn't that all too convenient for the women. Do you think monkeys live in a fantasy world like us? Do you think they believe in love, soulmates or any other myth? No, they fuck the alpha male because they need to pass on their genes. What makes us so different? I for one am fed up with people believing we are some sort of civilized super beings. We are animals plain and simple.

It is my personal philosophy that women have created this web of lies to better serve their evolutionary purpose. If men are to believe that we must date, be romantic, marry, and otherwise jump through these hoops to get sex, then the women has solidified herself in a permanent position of power.

She has power over us in ONE way. That is sex. Which is why if you are having sex ALREADY, she will be fighting for a relationship because she needs to secure your exclusivity to her and has NO other leverage. She needs to know that you will stick around, which is what exclusivity implies. Then she works towards contractual exclusivity (marriage) Sex is really the only true thing women have power over men.

In reality, men are more powerful than women. That is just the way it is. You can call me sexist if you want because I really don't even consider women's viewpoints about me. I love women, I think they are equal, often more competent psychologically and socially. You say sexist, I say realistic. Painfully so. And that is only because I have been in the game for a LONG time and I have fucked up hundreds of times, believing the same fantasy your "friend" is stuck believing.

The most dangerous and interesting part about a lot of the internal workings between male and female is that you are working on a subconcious. You have to be SOLID in your belief system because most women will act UPSET, Pissed, like they hate you or throw all kinds of shit at you just to see if you waver. At the end of the day though, the truth is not in what women say, but it is in how they RESPOND. What they chase after and what they value and especially what they respond to sexually.

Men and women are into each other for sex. Bottom line. Sure women are fun, sure they can bring great feminine energy to balance masculine energy. If there was no sex however, we wouldn't talk to women. Women on the other hand, seek out resources and survival needs. They also want GOOD sex, but they can get sex at the drop of a dime. For them, it is not just about sex, that is her reality. For men, it is just about sex and then excuses are made up to give us other reasons. Anything else REALLY is an added bonus.

Love is a myth. It was created by a rationalization of low self-worth or a misinterpretation of the nature of reality. If that doesn't fit into someone's world they will reject it and insult me. But at the end of the day, I'm not the one with chasing after a fantasy to validate my very masculinity.

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Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.