So I met this girl a couple months ago, and we finally started dating the first week in December. Things were going really well with her, but just before we started going out she signed up for the National Guard. We discussed that a couple weeks ago, and she thought there would be a few months until she actually went off to Basic so we were going to see where things headed in the meantime. Then she got the paperwork, and it turns out she's leaving in 2 weeks.

I know some people can make long distance relationships work, but this is still a pretty new relationship. Is it possible to still grow a new relationship long distance?

And does anyone have experience with the Guard? Will she even have time to talk to me during basic? I can't imagine she gets to bring her cell phone... do they get computer access or anything so we could chat at night? Even going to visit is going to be expensive... I'm on the opposite side of the country from her base (Arizona, but I don't know the exact city yet) and ticket prices seem to range from $250-$400.

I wouldn't stay exclusive with her, you just have to find a way of putting it that won't piss her off. There's too much opportunity cost if you stay exclusive with a girl on the other side of the country.

As far as visiting her, she's the one going away maybe she should visit you?

Umm... it's boot camp. She gets 1 hour per day of personal time, and Sunday's off if the drill sergeant doesn't decide to take it away.

She's not coming to visit me... hell, she doesn't even get to have her cell so we could text at night.

EDIT: And it's not about whether we stay exclusive or not... it's about whether or not I can make it work with this girl.

that would be hard to tell... you just have to try..
im sure she will miss you like hell, if you make her happy,

It CAN work... but I wouldn't put any stock into it. I'm in the Air Force Reserve and boot camp isn't the problem. She'll probably think about you every day while she's there.

The problem is her job training school afterwards. It's basically like a small college. I hate to be the bearer of bad news... but at my 8 week technical training, the girls ran rampant. Imagine this... you're an attractive girl surrounded by about 90% men. There will be a lot of temptation and A LOT of guys trying to get with her.

During boot camp she probably will only be able to send you handwritten letters, and she'll need the emotional support and will probably write you often. But in technical training, she'll have access to computers, email, cell phone, etc.

However, she will be coming back home afterwards. It CAN work... but don't get your hopes up.

Not trying to play devil's advocate, I'm just speaking from what I saw.

I just got so lucky... she had to do her thing at Meps today, and I guess there were some mix ups or something. The end result is that she's in, but she's not leaving for another two months. I think by then we'll actually know if this is real or not... so much of the pressure has been taken off for now at least. I think we can enjoy a few weeks of just getting to know each other now...

There will still be questions when the time comes, but we're in a MUCH better position now.

She's admitted that she's had trouble remaining loyal in the past, and long distance is frequently when she ends up cheating... so I guess I will have to worry about her going to the job training. But maybe with the increased communication we'll be able to be more solid, and I may be able to visit more. I think she wants to end her patterns, and she's trying...

Is the job training usually held in the same area as basic? Could she end up somewhere closer, where maybe I could actually visit every couple weeks?

Maybe those are questions for her... but I really don't want to get into any heavy stuff with her right now. That's all the last week has been, I just want us to be able to enjoy each other's company for now.

The job training is at another location the majority of the time. I think another 2 months with her will be good for you to build more on a foundation. Find out what her job (MOS) will be and you can probably find out through the Army recruiting website where the training will be.

Im in the military bro, and i can tell you that if u want to make it work, best thing to do while she is in basic is to write her as much as possible. i was in a similar situation when i left for bootcamp. Basic is very stressful and something as small as mail from a boy/girl friend goes a long way. trust me

She dumped me unfortunately: girl-afraid-of-getting-too-close-vt5917 ... highlight=

Thanks for your help though guys, sounded like good advice...

Onoma wrote:start quote

She's admitted that she's had trouble remaining loyal in the past, and long distance is frequently when she ends up cheating... so I guess I will have to worry about her going to the job training. But maybe with the increased communication we'll be able to be more solid, and I may be able to visit more. I think she wants to end her patterns, and she's trying...

end quote.

That's your problem right there. Next time if you're in a relationship and someone "admits she's having trouble staying loyal". You make sure YOU are the one doing the dumping.

I've been putting up with to much female bull-sh$%^ for too long. In exactly the same manner as you described in your posts. If someone is "having trouble being loyal" they just don't deserve you. Why should you be the one worrying. Imagine you going to a stripping school. 90% female learning how to strip in stripclubs. Would she approach the matter in the way you are doing now? Honestly dude, she's using you, but don't worry: chicks oftenly don't do this on purpose, however shitty that sounds.

I hope this helps anyway. It took me some tough blows before I understood it, but it has made life a lot more simple for me. And I'm no longer letting my emotional well being depend on what other people (yes, including HB's) decide.

This is your reality man! Start taking charge. You and me Onoma; we are kings! Kings in our own empire called life. And as soon as someone walks into that empire, they from now on better know the freaking rules. Cause if they don't abide to those rules, or seek to profit from the riches of the empire without paying the proper taxes, they are out!

Deal?

greetz

the Buccaneer

_________________
I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson