I have no idea if this is the right thread to create this topic, but since the girl and me have already some kind of relationship, I decided to create this topic here and on "general questions".

Anyway, here's the deal.

I need a strong, realistic and rational perspective, because I'm kinda emotional.

First of all, now I'm asking for real advice, real opinions, PUA opinions.

Ok, so here's the deal. It may be a long story, but I'll try to keep it as short as I can.


2 months ago I met a girl.
I'm 18, she's 19. We're studying on different universities (here at Europe the system is different from the USA system. We sleep at our home, Economics, Sport, etc universities aren't at the same building, etc).

The thing went very well at the beginning. I acted C/F, she liked it and engaged it pretty well.
She felt attraction.
2 friends of us and me and her lunched like 2/3 times a week.
I didn't talk to her everyday, just 3/4 times a week.

However, 2 weeks after I met her I started to have doubts, why?
Because I don't want a LTR, and I have one kind of girl which I for sure know that if we hang pretty well, I would start to love her.
When I understand SHE was that kind of girl, I started to behave differently, because I didn't want to love someone.

What was my behaviour? Bold, agressive, c/f. Sometimes it was sweet, but not needy. Other times, but very few, very needy, telling her indirectly I was attracted to her.

We kept talking and etc, mocking each other, but when I invited her to spend time with me, only with me, she answered to everything but that. I don't really know what to call it, maybe "complianceless flake"?

Anyway, 1 month ago she started to hang out and lunching with other group of her university. I don't know why, maybe because of me I guess.

3 weeks ago I wanted to test her, so I sent her this:

"I'm passing by x city, and I remembered you, so hi there! No get lost Smile"

She was driving but answered anyway, telling me EVERYTHING she did in that city and she had a "beach house" there.

Then I answered "did I ask you something?".

She replied "ok, i'm sorry *".


The next day we've seen each other. She was very mad at me. She was like, very sad and furious.
She told me she thought we we're incompatible and that if our relationship moved forwards it would not end well. She said something like "sometimes you see me and I think you don't know if you like me or not. Sometimes I think I wasn't born to have a good relationship with you."

One of our common friends told me that he saw her almost crying when she sent me a sms telling something like what I wrote above.

I called her and she yelled calling me a bastard, I calmed her down and said "tomorrow we're going to talk. But don't forget this, one thing I know: I like you more thant I thought I would. Don't ever doubt this."

We talked the next day. She gave me IOIs every second. EVERY second.
I told her "I'm dating 3 girls. 2 of them are gorgeous, fantastic, I feel myself lucky to have them in my life, but they are superficial. However, other girl isn't as pretty as them, isn't top, but she's different, she's not superficial, and I like her more. She's you."

Then she said "yeah I have a lot of guys loving me. No, I'm kidding. I only have one, which I like sometimes, but on the others I just want to punch him in the face, because of some things he says to me. He's you."

After that we spent the afternoon together, because I had things to do and she wanted to come with me.
We mocked each other, passed a really good time.
When we said goodbye to each other, I asked her "what would you do if a stranger kissed you?". She smiled and said she would get mad.

Then I asked "and what if I kissed you?". She got sad, really sad, and replied "I would get mad. See, it's this kind of things that I don't like about you...".

Half an hour later she sent me a sms "you courage is admirable, but I got so confused... I freaked out. I thought our previous conversation made you understand I don't want to take advantage of you."

2 days later I acted very needy because I wanted in order to test her. I made her 3 invitations, she answered everything but not them.

After that, I avoided seeing her.
We didn't talk for about 1 week. Then she sent me a sms "when I see american idol I remember of you singing with your superstar style xD".

Note: I didn't participate on american idol, but sometime ago I played for her one song in the guitar.

After that we haven't talked anymore.


So, guys, I really need your help.
I want to know what did she felt, why did she "flaked" my invitations, if our connection is, or was, strong.
I want to know if she's attracted to me, but doing nothing because she may think that I'm a player or something like that.

you are just playing '' too hard to get ''

i think you are thinking way too much...... don't expect a outcome she's just way too emotional around you.

when she's emotional vulnerable you turn her down, it's a kind of light buyers remorse. however you still got high value by keeping cocky-arrogant-funny , But you told her you got feelings for her. you have shown your indirectly attracted to her but you keep changing you opinion ( in her eyes ). now she does not want to take risks - she think she's not worth it because she can't take that risk.

however you make her feel bad by turning her down when she seeks attention.
she could be telling you you don't fit toghether and giving IOI's because she still likes you and she doesn't want to ruin a potential friendship. Or she sticks around you until she finds someone who is serious.

problem with gaming girls too long is that they lose patience to some extend and they get emotionally unbalanced - that's why you can't expect or think for them at this point. you can't even fully trust her because she can flake anytime leaving you behind.

she's investing in conversations and directly to you when your around

we don't know what she thinks but il give my input
she's afraid your not serious or making fun of her ... you conditioned her into not taking any risk. she flakes because she can't be emotional vulnerable around you ( anymore). She wants you to invest .. however she does not know what she really wants .... it's a big risk.
she thinks she's not worth it... and she thinks your not loyal and stabile enough - she too afraid in getting into a relationship , she has attraction to some point and maybe she wants sex but she rather stays friends
at this point she probably wants to be kissed ..... you've missed the window - she was vulnerable enough and invested enough to kiss but you didn't. you disqualified her and hurt her emotions by replying with what you've said.

friends don't care and don't get mad if you say stuff like this. i say much more neggy ( more insulting/ arrogant etc ) things to friends.
she does not like that about you ???? why in earth would she like you anyway - you aren't her boyfriends you are a friend right now.


over a week or 2 months she could be over you ( not attracted or not wanting you ) , even if you got a relationship with her she can change her mind over a period of time.
she could be sporadic and irrational - woman are more emotional than men and she is emotionally unstable arouind you.

you could escalate on the right moment and kiss her ..... but she's a big risk you much willing to take. she's flaky......

you freezed her out eliminated the bad emotions and the lite buyers remorse, thats why she contacted you again with the idol thing, -- she remembers you and switches back to the good emotions postive emotions , when girls refer to romantic moments you can bet ....... your freeze out worked, but this doesn't necassarily means you both fit together on long term.

in the end you could only hurt yourself , you have read my story .. my ex had problems and was emotionally unstable / changed her mind constantly to.
look what happened to me.... unstable/ changing people are hard to trust and they are hard to rely on. i had girlfriends who are like this....

you could reply ....... by not replying you reject her but also possibly her friendship, if you can't take this shit you should not talk to her - you should not make yourself vulnerable around her if you are afraid getting hurt.
if you don't want to reply then it's better if you don't say anything ... you could always say you were bussy etc.

either you take the risk or not ... it's possible a moment to K-close won't happen ever again , you actually fucked up a few times but maybe it's better that way.

im very weak with this and i allow myself to fall in love / being vulnerable around girls rather quick. that feeling of love feels good on short term.. but it could be very painfull on long term if she changes her mind etc.

just my input... i don't know her so you probably know what feels best..... look after yourself first - do what's good for you first.
don't take my words fully granted ... she could be in love with you - i mean everything is possible .... [/quote]

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Thank you my friend.

Now I'm going to say what I feel and what I want/need.

She's very unsure. Our common friends told me that. They even told me she was totally different from me.

Sincerily, if the 2 of us go out someday, this week or the next, I would love to do that, I would kiss her.
But there is a big "if". I can't stand being around her anymore. I have to regain my equilibrium.
I'm very unstable now, sometimes I feel good, sometimes I feel very emotional.
Fortunately, I'm moving on. I'm feeling better over the days.

One more thing. Now it's christmas holidays. 2 weeks without seeing her. She lives like 30 kms away from me.
On the first week of January there's a chance of the 2 of us see each other, I don't know, but after that there will be a month and a half of vacations to study for the university examinations, so...

So I think the best for me is just to get stable, to regain my equilibrium and, if someday I want, go right after her and do the things different.

Fortunately she didn't LJBF'd me!

Thank you

that's a good idea....

over a period of time she could be more confident and sure about her cause, it's also better for her this way - she sounds to unsure right now.

you just don't have enough time right now and she lives 30 kms away, girls aren't that important .... YOU are important - and someday you meet someone else.

work on your career and inner game so when you show up you are much higher value.

get stable take yourself to a higher level.

i wish you the best..

peace bro

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526