Hi All,

So i've got a bit of a complicated one and I don't know if I should start gaming again on this one. I'm also not sure if this is a relationship or oneitus so please don't get pissed if i've posted wrongly...

Basically I got with this girl about a year ago, she lived abroad (although used to come back all the time) we were seeing each other for a few months,basically hooking up when she was back until it started to get serious and she broke it off as she didn't want to get into a long distance relationship having recently come out of one.

So I went back to seeing other girls until this summer when we ended up at burning man festival together and rekindled our thing, she was then back in England for the last few of months and things got really serious even though we knew she was going away again until the summer. I assumed that we had got serious enough that we would do long distance and were vaguely planning trips and stuff. Then the night before she leaves she says that I should see other people until Christmas when she gets back and it's because she promised herself she wasnt going to get into another long distance relationship.

The point is this is really not a hard long distance it's like an hour flight and for six months - easy to do if you are serious about someone. And every thing about the last few months has shown that this was a serious thing not just a fuck relationship.

Now she has left she doesn't seem to want to talk except the odd random message she sends me - if anything i feel like i'm being gamed by her now... I have no idea how to deal with this. Do I start playing her back or do I act like a grown up and tell her either we are something or not.

Please help as i'm going a bit mad with all this female irrationality

bingo.. there you should think about it..

IF you are more serious with her than she is with you... well.. you are letting her get control..
Of course everything is possible... she is just using the "uuh uh dont wanna have another long distance relationship it was so harsh.." to just hook up you every time she is in england... OR PERHAPS she really does feel insecure and that she aint enough for you, that she doesn't want you to commit to someone to distant apart..

Well it's hard...

Next time you so her.. come clean.. honestly i wouldnt even let her kiss you before YOU decide if u wanna get serious or not.. looks like shes is gaming you with excuses.. Do you sleep with her?..

If u want it to be serious.. then...

You either both get serious..
Or you dump her, dont talk to her, ever... then when she is back in town, she hopefully have missed you so fucking much, and realised what she had lost, that she wants to get back with you.. and be in a committed relationship...


my two cents from experience... currenlty in a long long distance relationship..
it's all good with me and her.. cause we want the same thing.. but if u want different things.. it's a game of roulette.

PS: My advice is perhaps too much (You either dump or get serious).. Well this i only mean if you are really serious about her.. if you cant really decide..
well give her chance... but dont let her take control.. if she takes control, she will use like a grocery store.. she gets, she gets what she wants, no one ask her questions, she leaves, she come back whenever she wants...
that is not good my friend...

take control.. you decide what you and her should do..
continue like this? and perhaps it develops to something serious
or you tell her you want serious, and she dont, she shouldnt expect to see or hear you again..

Dont take my words to be gospel. just what i think.. it's hard to give advice.