Hey guys,

I have been in a relationship with my gf now for over 7 months. We have an overall really good relationship. There just seems to be one major problem...her friend! There is a lot of bullshit that has gone on, but I will try and just hit on some of the major issues. I appreciate any help with this!

My gf and her friend are share a place together. Her friend and I get along well, but I feel like she is interferes with my relationship with my gf. Here are a few examples of what she does:

1) My gf's friend has no life. My gf (and me) are about the only people she hangs out with outside of her family. My girl always feels it feels it necessary to have her friend come with us, whenever she has nothing else going on (which is almost always). I don't mind if her friend spends some time with us, but it has become too much.

2) An even bigger problem that has happened is, my gf seems to put her friends needs ahead of mine. My gf says that she doesn't want to be too affectionate when her friend is present. This pisses me off for a couple reasons 1) She invites her to hang out with us 2) When her friends sister and her man hang with us sometimes and they are always affectionate. Her friends own sister is not even worried about watching her affectionate level in front of her, but my gf does. My gf also acts disrespectful by treating me with less importance than her friend.

3) My gf's friend wants a man in the worst way. She thinks she is entitled to some great looking guy, but she is not being realistic with herself. Her body type is 4'9, 165lbs and pale skin. Not to be mean to her, but she would never be hit on by a PUA. Bottom-feeder type guys are interested in her, but she doesn't like any of those type guys. I have even tried setting her up with some "nice guys" that I know, but she shows no interest. The problem though, is that my gf feels it is her responsibility to help her find a guy. My gf goes up to random guys and asks them if they would like to go out with her friend. This wouldn't be such a bad thing, but I think my gf does it so she can recieve attention.

This is just my personal opinon, but I think one of the biggest reasons for their friendship is that my girl has a low self-esteem and by being friends with her friend who is much uglier than her, it makes her feel good.

Has anyone ever been in a situation like this before? What would be the best way to handle her so she doesn't interfere with our relationship?

Thanks!

I don't know how to say this nicely, but you've basically let her steal the frame (and your balls). It's a bitch to get this back since you now have to go out of the norm (who she sees you as) and it risks a lot of things. I'd be more interested in what's going on in your gf's head than what she's doing. But her doing that do you is definitely DLVing, if she did that at a bar you'd label her a bitch and bounce out of there, but she's doing it now...

Yeah, I've been there before. And reading it really pisses me off since I remember what that's like. You need to call her on it, using the same bullets you mentioned. Show her that you are the prize and not the fucking carpet, give her ultimatums that you're not going unless you get 'quality time' with her. That's a nasty loop to get stuck in. I left an ex for a reason like that, lack of appreciation is basically what it is.

Go at it in a vulnerable way, you're humble, not upset. If that doesn't work, give the ultimatums.

at least it's not a male friends fucking things up.

just be affectionate... just don't give a shit just do it. either your together or your not.

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Thanks for the advice!

BlueCassonova, That makes really good sense what you say about her really having the frame.

"I'd be more interested in what's going on in your gf's head than what she's doing"
What do you mean by this?

I tried being assertive and calmly discussing this with her the other day, and she reacted negatively. She complained how she just wants to be a good friend to her. She doesn't want her friend to feel neglected and left out. I understand this to a point, but should I say that my feelings are more important as her boyfriend? A lot of times it feels like the fuckin 3 of us are dating and it sucks!

But yeah, at least its not male friends

thanks guys

What i mean by the quote i gave is that it's very rarely due to what's on the surface. There might be things she's doubting about your relationship, or something unrelated but as impacting. Women roleplay in their head all the damn time. Never ask a woman what she's thinking, cuz she doesnt even know.

The fact that she lets overs makeout in front of her friend but not you, is very disturbing. Since you tried the casual talk, i'd give the ultimatum. Dont say your feelings are more or equally as important as her friend, women bond much faster than men do.

Do you want to keep dating her and deal with this as long as you date (since that chick's not getting a guy any time soon obviously), or be free and date others?