Yesterday, I had a painful conversation with my girlfriend of 'almost' 10 months. She told me that I was boring and not an alpha male. Well it's true . I'm not a talkative guy and I'm totally no alpha male. At the end of our conversation we got to a conclusion that we'll see how it goes on for a while.
I really don't want the relationship to end.

So please help me. How can I become more talkative and an 'alpha male'?
Vaenwt

Well to be more talkative, talk more, and have some enthusiasm - maybe think about topics that you are interested in and talk about those?

to be more alpha - be more assertive, be spontaneous and take your girl out and do stuff with her. Be adventurous in the bedroom, and make sure you please your lady

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Life's a game, let' play...

You could start by identifying the man YOU want to be instead of trying to mold yourself into some golden standard this girl has in her head that may not even be an accurate depiction of what she really wants.

Define yourself according to YOUR core values, fuck what anybody else has to say about it, and you may just find that this girl isn't quite as important to you as you originally thought.

Your boy,
870

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Just say and do what you think.

I hang out a lot. And in social situations.. I still find myself thinking.. "I should grab her drink and take a sip of it.." then I think "oh wait that might be rude.." then I think "oh I'll just look at my drink and take a sip of that.." on it goes.

But, if I just act on that first impulse, it comes off much better and she laughs.

Smile a lot. If someone teases you, smile, and say what you think. If you are thinking, "I'm frozen and I have no response to that." say that even. If you say it in good humor without looking offended... well alpha male.

Pay attention to the other guys when they are around, not her.

My style is usually not to make fun of other guys.. or be a jerk to establish dominance. I'm seldom the total alpha male, but I talk enough and make enough jokes that I get peoples attention and respect.

zige is right ...


get an interesting life take up challenges... KEEP gaming girls when going out. DO WHAT YOU THINK and don't give a fuck .... i tell my girlfriend i don't like her make-up, if she's fucking around i lift her up and tell her i need to put the garbage out.

Always look for a way to respond/ reply .. start thinking funny comments start thinking how you can turn their bullshit around.
il bet you fucking dozed off after fucking her ... maybe she did to .... it's getting boring. actually she is even more boring because she isn't fucking but she's getting fucked.

Do what you want and be relentless ...

hey honey can i come by friday ?
me : yeah sure ... but i won't be here tho .. im going to the gym... still you can come by and enjoy yourself if you like ... your welcome.

most guys say :

guys : yeah you can come by ... i was thinking about going to the gym .. but ..

NONON don't give up your shit , let her now she's expandable and you run your own life.

when i girl tells me im boring ''She tells me that I was boring and not an alpha male'' you know how i would reply ?

me : yeah since i got to know you it seems your turning me into a pussy... maybe i should dump you and do the fuck i want to do.

TURN IT AROUND... you had 992919491 zillion options to turn it around including pheromones - testosteron and mathmetical equasions.

WHATEVER YOU DO DONT TURN INTO WHATEVER SHE WANTS ... because when you give in ''youre fucked ''.. you might as well chop your dick off and give it to her...

don't give her a chance to think if your serious or not ... SMILE ... when shes offended tell her it was a joke.... then reply again no im not joking... and tell her again you were joking keep playing her.
a woman is like a music instrument .... you have to play it otherwise it isn't fun, you decide what music you want to play.

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Thanks for all the replies!

I'll definitely try all the things you guys said, especially the conversation turns.
Though it seems quite hard to me because you have to think rather quickly about how to reply.

I gotta say...

I agree with the posts here as far as advice for being alpha....

Hate to rain on the parade,......but at the same time, I just dont know how I feel about your gf saying that to you. While I think she has lent you some insight into how she percieves you and at least she's being honest, I just dont think its right. I dont know how alpha you are now but once, a particular girl has you in that beta box, it might be hard to change for that particular girl.

I would tread carefully here. I think its kind of an insulting thing to say. And if youve been dating for 8 months, that's typically when I find that the romance/honeymoon phase might come near to an end and she could be looking for excuses to bail. I could be wrong too

I am not necessarily recommending this and i am no expert but just based on your description, this is what I have done/would do in the scenario:
I would definantly go alpha all right but not with her. I would cut her off for a while and/or act more aloof and try to game/flirt with other girls. I think: it all comes down to acting dominant and not giving a crap what anyone thinks.

I know it sounds contrary to logic, but it has always worked for me when a girl starts to get critical of me around the one-year mark. I cant whole-heartedly recommend this because its very risky and could drive into another guy's arms if you're game is not solid. It depends on the situation. Just my two cents...

I dont believe you have to be talkative necessarily to be alpha. I just think you have act like you dont care what people think of you. I always think: what would Clint Eastwood do?

Anyways, the best thing about being alpha is that once you do it right, you will notice an automatic immediate increased attention from all kinds of ladies.


Anyways, is she aware that plenty of Alpha males are also the ones who cheat relentlessly.

Wackjacko2001 I think that you are right. In the past she has shown more interest to me when I had been doing something with another girl be it dancing or talking on MSN with on of her friends. So when the time is right I'll definitely try it.

Yesterday we went out with some friends of her. They got a stupid nickname for me. I tried to ignore it as always in the hope that they would stop, but they are still using it. What can I do to make them stop?

One thing is for sure. What you must NOT do is to show that you're offended/insulted when they call you by your new nickname.

What you could try to do is to come up with nicknames for THEM, so that whenever they call you something, you have a counter attack to it and if the nicknames you're giving them makes them feel uncomfortable, they will not call you nothing else but your real name from now on.

Not sure if I made myself clear in this post, but I'm kinda in a hurry now. Hope it helped somewhat.

Good luck!

We broke up because I fucked it up, but that doesn't matter anymore. I don't want her back (no whine post here ).

Still I feel @#$%ing bad. It was my first girlfriend so I just want to know how you guys handled a break up. Is there a way to get this bad feeling away?

you didn't fuck up ...maybe over a month you meet the girl of your dreams, when this happens you will be glad you fucked up with your ex !

your first girlfriend ... aww man ... that's always the hardest.... you will feel bad you can do ''nothing'' about it.

1. stop thinking about her and stop thinking about your actions.

you feel bad ... Look after you and stop looking in the past otherwise you will forget the present and future. the one who dwells in the past will never move forward.

over a few weeks you will feel worse or maybe better we don't know i actually felt worse over an extended period of time.
You are probably a nice person because you give a shit otherwise you wouldn't feel this , first of all you feel bad and want her back BUT THIS IS YOUR EGO - stop thinking this way. right now you can't contact her yet.....in any way your not ready.

2. Develop your personal life and don't stand still

keep moving with your life ... no matter how bad you feel keep walking , don't stop and think about what have happened. It's not important - of course you will learn a lesson out of it BUT your life is more important instead of those lessons. you can still learn lessons when you don't feel bad , don't pressure yourself into self-reflection or guilt.

Go out ... have fun ... keep doing interesting things and don't push your friends away , when you don't want to do something you force yourself. Go out and go meet new people THE MORE THINGS you do the faster you forget.

3 First time is the worst

like bungee jumping ... the first time gives most thrills , but it also gives the most pain. when you start boxing those punches hurt like hell but after a while you grow accustomed to the pain and you take it like a man.

same with relationships ..... THE FIRST girl will always be the girl you love, some girls after will maybe resemble some traits of her that's why youre attracted to them. you can't stop having feelings for her, the first girl you meet is the girl you always will love.

Forget you have feeling for her

ore becomes superheated and turns into a steel bar

you will feel bad .. but once you get over it you are more experienced and harder then you will ever be. Next break ups will be less worse - you will take risks and push the limit. This al will help you in your next relationship '' the jealeous dude needed to learn being jealous would kill his relationship''

break ups and their emotions will affect you're game for a certain period of time

because you will feel bad you are less calibrated and less in the mood to game..... your game will degrading for some time.... you maybe will get the loner stigma a few times but bite through it.

what did i to feel better..... actually time heals all wounds
i could fuck her sister as revenge but IT doesn't make you feel better yeah well maybe for a few days. it's good to hear your post isn't a whine post and you don't want her back ( i hope )

getting a new girlfriend can help but only for some time ...... you first need to get rid of these feelings - getting a new girlfriend while having these feelings would LIMIT you in your relationship ..... i recommend you fucking some times but don't commit yourself when your feeling bad. ( advice from my new GF)

just realize you don't need anyone .. this is your life and you make the rules ... if she thinks she's to good then fuck her... she can fuck off - like i said over 4 weeks you could meet that HB 10 with godlike personality ( it happened to me ) you don't need anyone.

the first person you need is YOU... give youself that sexy man .. give yourself those workouts .

your EX-GF said you were boring and not alpha ... BECOME alpha and become more interesting ..... some girls just like boring dudes and some girls like nerds or guys that aren't alpha. but this is not good for you don't be dependend on fate and other people.
Instead make your life interesting and be alpha , now you broke you broke up with her , be glad you don't have to cut your balls of.

Youre free and you can start gaming girls , that fucking girl was limiting you in your personal development. when guys meet their first girlfriend they fucknig doze off .... they don't go out alot the relationship is often getting boring and their GF is the center of their universe.

instead of that .... GO OUT ... GO GAME GIRLS even when you got a relationship.
you will have more options ... you will be more socially savy .. more alpha and you will be more interesting because you will do new things and see new things.

dozing off is like cutting your penis off and giving it to your GF ... don't do it .. keep the fun parts for yourself. she can handle herself she could buy a fucking dildo or vibrator. ( context)

what you did .... you stepped outside your comfort zone ... ( with the break up etc)

you have to realize whats missing in your life that caused the break up.
stepping outside you comfort zone makes humans feel better it will give you satisfaction - approaching girls and gaming them is stepping outside your comfort zone , it's a totally new experience that's why it's so thrilling and rewarding.

-----

everything is between your ears ... YOU WILL only feel bad WHEN YOU START FEELING BAD ... WHEN YOU START THINKING WHY.
negative thinking .......

realizing that you can do without ( learning) is always harder then realizing you can't do without.

don't start getting in a negative spiral ... she broke up so what ? she didn;t want you and she didn't want to make time for you GUESS what there are thousand of girls that would ( and they are all in afghanistan.. sorry had to make that joke ) no seriously - alot of girls would like to date you .... and most of them are probably better than your ex-GF.

we have all been trough this ..... just realize all guys on these forums experienced the same ... we all felt bad but somehow our lives just become better after we experienced.

stay of the alcoholic beverages and keep your hands off drugs neither of those will help you, you can solve your problems without substances or materials it's all between your ears.

you can control thoughts ... thoughts and experiences produce certain emotions, you can't control emotions otherwise we would be robots.

my break-up was way worse ..... my wife became pregnant of me and after a while she began cheating with some other guy, few weeks after i knew about it she aborted the pregnancy without telling me. she manipulated me and destroyed my life i ended up in a mental hospital and nobody gave a shit about me. you should be glad you don't have to experience this shit, girlfirends can be like trojan horses - you never entirely know what your dealing with before you get them into your life.

your situation isn't the worse, IT can always be more worse

you can never have less than zero , you can only gain

your feeling will maybe go away in 2 weeks maybe in 2 months or maybe a little bit longer, it isn't the end of the world. take it like a man so you can be a man for your next girlfriend.

luck be with you

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@Lodewijkp: Many thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it.

It seems to go alright as long as I'm doing something --> going on with living. But as soon as I'm bored and I start thinking of it I just get the terrible feeling back. So I put all the stuff that lets me think of her out of my room and I'm going to block her MSN account for at least a week so I can't talk to her or she to me (we're still friends).

Hopefully it's a little bit better next week. At least the week has just started so I got something to do .

My friend - all the best of luck

My two cents - brilliant move blocking MSN and getting rid of reminders.

I would block everything you can - Facebook etc. And cut this girl off for longer - at least 3 weeks to a month. Do not answer phone calls/texts etc. I know it might sound shallow but doing this has always, in my life, translated into the girl reaching out to me/feeling like breaking up was a huge mistake. You have to have alot of willpower to do this and act non-reactionary. But it helps getting over a relationship knowing that she is constantly contacting you and you are dismissive.

The key to everything in break ups to me is cutting her off completely and completely erasing her out of your life. Then, start working on yourself - working out more, learning more PUA stuff etc. You will start feeling better in the shortest amount of time.

No offence, but in my experience, when a girl say she wants to be "just friends", its often her way of easing herself from the relationship sometimes even often when she's already dating someone else. Of course, I cant pretend to be an expert: but I dont believe you want to be friends with her. By doing so, you're giving her the easy way out and if you still have feelings for her, its to your detriment in some ways (unless you want to get back with her, in which, no contact for a 3 week period is usually the key anyways in my experience).