so i've been talking to this girl on and off for a year.
we have had relationships with other in between but always find ourselves
coming back to eachother. she is amazing and i am the same to her.
she is very flirtatious, almost like a girl PUA hah. and I guess im the same.
anyway, we finally decided to make it official. I was alone with her, kissed her, and ask her out. she accepted and it was great...so i thought. We are in high school,
but we are both mature people.
we went for approximately one week
she called me up last night, and said she likes me sooo much.
but something with our interactions at school everytime we see eachother
is awkward.
I mean, i try to be a "normal"-"good" boyfriend as i can.
when i see her, small talk, ask to go to lunch together (off campus lunch at this high school) and hugs when we can. I dont go interupt and be clingy when i see her with her friends, and she appreciates that too. but she said its awakward, she said she thinks it is her and not me. and i asked what can I do to not make it awkward and she said she doesnt know. It gives her a bad negative feeling.
she has been genuinely busy the last 2-3 days with overhaul of tests that she wants to do well in. and i totally understood, gave her space, wish her goodluck, etc. so 2 days we didnt talk at all after school. and she felt it was a weird obligation to talk all the time with a boyfriend, and she felt bad for not talking those two days. But i expressed that its ok becuase she had to study!
she also stated that she has commitment issues. and i said (in a joking way) oh so you dont want to be tied down for someone better to come along? haha and she said noooo way! i like you so much but its like this fear i have. another note how she is flirtatious, with other guys in the past she would be in "mid game" with 2-3 guys for the attention or confidence boost, but she said with me she doesnt even want to talk to other guys because she likes me so much, i keep her so entertained, and i am everything she needs.
she said she was happy when we were talking, not dating. and i said maybe its the "girlfriend" title that bother her and she said yeah maybe. she said it didnt feel right in a relationship, and i said it wouldnt feel right if we liked eachother so much and talked/flirted but not go out, because people talk to go out! heh.
I said maybe she wasnt used to a relationship that might actually work out. because her past relationships are with afc (that are semi-alpha). guys who are awesome at start, cool football players, but then they get clingy, moody, drunk, horny, needy, or plain dumb. because it was like i was suppose to get mad at her for not calling me the past two days, but because im not needy and gave her study space, it felt like we wernt going out. and i jokingly said, hah so you want me to get mad at you? and she said, maybe its the relationship thing but it suppose to be a good feeling so why do i feel so bad? i also suggested that most relationships are awkward the first week, but w/e.
she wants to keep talking like we love eachother and are getting ready to date.
i want to stay in the relationship and work it out, but it makes her not happy so i dont want to force it. and i said, you know if we break up, i dont think i can talk to you.
i mean how can i? its like walking in circles with the destination is in the middle.
so we hung out, broken up, still thinking about things.
so i couldnt sleep, and texted her at 3am about how i will continue to talk to her, and maybe we can go out again when the time is right - less holidays, better grades, & i get my car soon.
then she woke up all happy, now we're talking it through agian.
watcha think?
CHAT