I'm in a relationship with a girl who is 'saving her orgasm' by making herself so uncomfortable during sexual activity to the point where she wont orgasm, or stopping it when she's about too.
Now, being a perfectionist and an egotistical male, I definitely am not okay with this- I've put in hours upon hours of research when I was unable to go out in the field and just experiment because it's pretty much been my fantasy to be 'the best lover ever', if it sounds weird-it's just my thing. Everyone has goals. She wont let me go down on her because she knows that she'll come, and she stops me when i'm fingering her. Sex is not enjoyable this way, at all.
And, there's a bunch of stuff floating around the net and in e-books saying not to talk about her not orgasming too much with her, or else it will put pressure on her to orgasm and she never will.

Anyway, basically I don't really know what to do. Saving an orgasm seems pretty retarded to me. I don't know how to communicate that to her, or even if something like a freezeout will work. It just seems weird that this girl doesn't want to orgasm, but it's affecting me in a negative way.

Any ideas?

Do you think you could elaborate?
She has verbalized that she is 'saving it' the one time we did do a little talking about it.
She never really said for what, and I did initially take it as I was doing something wrong, but she reacts positively to most of the things I do.

But, how would I go about finding that underlying motive?

lol wtf

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Pay attention to her behavior instead of what she is saying.

If she is saying she is making herself uncomfortable, and she looks uncomfortable during sex, she may just BE uncomfortable.

If she is having a personal issue revolving around sex, she may not be comfortable talking with you about it. If there is serious trauma, she may not even acknowledge it is a issue.

Note about performance related stress:
When a girl knows that you desire to be the ultimate sex fiend, and able to bring her to extraordinary heights of pleasure, it puts a lot of pressure on her. She wants to please you (by being pleased), and feels that unless she performs up to your standard you won't be happy, which can stress a girl out and make it hard for her to have a good time. Focus more on having a good time and less on making Orgasm the goal - you'll both have a better time.

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"In my defense, that baby was being a dick."

the name of this post needs to be changed from "shes saving it" to "shes single" because I would roll out on any girl that said she was sabotaging sexual chemistry so she can save her orgasm for when she bangs the next guy. Damn girls are stupid sometimes

girls can orgasm multiple times ..... this orgasm saving is ridiculious - she is acting like she's a guy lol.

i agree with spinstill and i agree with general ....

i can't really offer a diplomatic resolution..... i think you should be really direct and straightforward to her. you can ask genlty but she can come up with any excuse she wants ... she is little bit vague.

you can be little bit radical and say '' this orgasm saving thing is bullshit, my ex girlfriend never did that shit - i don't like it. (optional extra ) it sucks and i don't want to have sex that way , il rather have none.

your choice ... gentle ... or direct....

you may not wanna hear this but she could be traumatized or something like that.
first try to asses .... if you know the situation you can find out if it's bullshit or not.

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