Yo ive been going out with my gf for the last 4 months, and recently i have this problem with this other guy. he really likes her and flirts with her alot, and she claims shes not bothered and only wants me, however they work at the same place and i went in the other day with her and they were both flirting with each other. She claims she doesnt like him but how do i know shes telling the trueth when i saw her do it. her mum also said she doesnt, because she brought it up, but i get the feeling her mum was saying it to stop the conversation.

she goes on about how hes not her type & that she only wants me, but i dont know..he wont stop and im bothered by the fact she migth change her mind & also the fact she was flirting aswell.

before i went out with her, i used to study PUA alot using this forum ( using a different alias because i forgot my actual username & changed email addresses ) so i know how to get the girl, but i think im struggling keeping her.

thanks anyways

sorry for the double post but i think this is an important bit aswell. Everytime i go to her house shes on msn and hes the only one talking to her and she quickly shuts down the conversation but when he replys abit later on, she replys then quickly shuts it down. its like shes trying to hide it.

I used to think i was the best but its starting to disappear

Either you are insecure, or she likes the guy. Right now it looks as if you are the safety net for her. So you're gonna have to take a break. Tell her, that "either you like this guy or you don't, but either way I need time to think, so we are taking a break" Or anything along those lines, but don't give an ultimatum, and don't let her know openly that you are insecure. During the break don't contact her.

If you haven't taken a break from her in the past, this is wake her up. Showing her that you are willing to walk away. Right now she thinks you'll be there for her no matter what she does.

Dude, she likes him. Period. She won't admit it to you because she won't admit it to herself.

Walk away from this, because she doesn't sound like an honest person. You can say you're going to take a break or you can say nothing and simply be aloof. From her response (IN ACTIONS, NOT WHAT SHE SAYS) you will know what's really going on.

It's unfortunate but you can never really trust what a girl says especially in these scenarios.

basically we had a talk and she was getting annoyed that i think she likes him, and then i sed wot would you say if i said we should have a break, and her face dropped and looked asif she was about to cry and basically said i love you.

she claims she loves me and everybody around me says she does. am i just being stupid.

she was the one who suggested we should move into together next year, last month ( next year because its abit complicated with university n stuff ), and its my birthday next week and she has loads of "special" plans. so i dunno she seems to be making an effort to please me, she looked upset, her facebook status changed to "why cant he relise it", she says she loves me but then things seem to make me think she likes this guy. I dunno its like mixed, apart of me thinks shes doing it to try and get me to react.

It's a touchy subject man. I mean we can only give you advice based on what you're saying, we don't really know as much as you.

The best advice I can give you is STOP OBSESSING over it - whether it is a legitmate thing or NOT, it will drive her away from you and your relationship will be over before you know it. If she's never been untrustworthy, cheated or anything, maybe you just need to trust her.

Bro ive been there before

From experience you need to do things

1)Stop being insecure...yes you may think you have a right to but in her eyes no insecurity!..you are the dominant alpha male here, she needs you to be so full of confidence that no matter what guy tries to cut your grass you will laugh it of because you are the Man!
The more insecurity you show the stronger you will drive her away from you

2)Boundaries..now boundaries are very important and should be set accordingly...ask yourself whats values are important to you and what are you more flexible with.. Personally i would give her the following boundary and only give it once!...girls dont want to be controlled or continually annoyed on the same subject.
Say
The boundary- Talk with as many guys as you want but as soon as you make that decision through talk or action to disrespect me, yourself or our relationship then there will be consequences
Its not a threat...its action and consequence---boundary
girls dont want a guythat they can get away with murder with. Trust me on this!

Do not keep bothering her with it....say it once say it clearly then leave it....and trust her.... Also explain to her that you would rather she should be honest with you then feel the need to hide things inorder to avoid an arguement.

If she continues to hide things then follow through with your actions.. You do not need a girl hiding /lieing to you...

Girls are like teenagers , they dont like to be controlled and told what to do but they still need boundaries otherwise they run amuck and do whatever they want thinking they can get awaywith it.

Be the confident male capable of walking away whenever you chose to

Meh, I figured I'd like to spend some time answering this post as you seem as you seem like a good guy.

Thing is, you come to a pick-up forum, where most people are in order to learn how to get girls. In your situation it doesn't add up, because you're question is how to keep her. Nonetheless, it means in reality that we can't give pick-up oriented tips in how to keep the fire going.
I'm going from an analytical perspective on this, and that is the following:
She brings it up, in other words she is thinking about him. This clearly means that he has some meaning to her, but what sort of meaning I can't answer you on.

Instead I'd like to focus on something you can fix:

You are taking this claim up, this means that this guy has some meaning to you. But why wouldn't he, because of course he has some importance in your relationship.

Now, this is a bit contradictory though, as you can take this focus, but it is not necessarily true. The bounding scheme here is that you are both thinking, but why would you do that?

Obviously, because you both are facing a dilemma, you are facing a problem in your relationship.

Now, I know I will get flamed for this, but this is strictly my take on the source and the best way I know of to counter a problem such as this.

What I would see as the best path of action is actually writing. Write down exactly what is on your mind, and tell her exactly what says on that note. But why would you do that?

Basically, a relationship is not pick-up, it's a shared experience and the main source of relationships breaking up is because of thrust and insecurities.

Basically, don't be judgmental, don't interpret any reaction. Just tell her what is on your heart and why. In any outcome it will still be better, if you loose her then ok, but you can be just as sure of loosing her by not doing it. In this scenario you do actually get out what is on your mind.

You should however not come with solutions, this is one-sided and not a bounding agreement. (People tend to break out of pre-defined pacts if they don't have to make them together) Rather discuss it with her in a calm matter.

After all, the biggest confidence is by talking about things you feel insecure off, and she will surely feel the same way if you do.

I wish you good luck, and hope it works out for you.
- Exerio