Was this a lie?



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 Post subject: Was this a lie?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:09 pm 
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Been in a relationship for about 4 months now. We're completely open with each other, which has been great. However, the problem is this... I flat out do not like one of her ex's. They have apparently been friends for about 2 years now, and have dated in the past. He broke up with her for unknown reasons. They still hang out regularly and call each other regularly. (This is weird to me.....)

Last time I was out with this ex and my GF, he said I "looked like an elf"... Well any attempt at trying to befriend him vanished at that point. He didn't get the frame as I played/laughed it off like I wanted to get a part in the Santa Clause 3. During that particular hangout, he also gave her a gift of a small stuffed animal. Looked like it probably came in a happy meal. (This is also weird/creepy to me....)

We've been open about our previous relationships and how they've shaped us. She said she never had sex with this guy, but they came close when they were both drunk and that it was "a funny story".... she didn't elaborate.

Fast forward to last week, I accidentally found her diary in her bookshelf. Curiosity killed the cat, so I read it. The cat is definitely dead.

3 pages started out like,
"I hooked up with... ...I'm still hooking up with... " yadda yadda. Now these were dated before we started seeing each other.

But WTF? In my mind, "hooking up" means sex. Does it not? Why fucking lie, ((unless there was a reason to lie?... i.e. she's cheating, or has feelings for him, or...?))

Do I need to GFTOW? :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Was this a lie?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:31 pm 
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Location: Springfield, Missouri, USA
Quote:
But WTF? In my mind, "hooking up" means sex. Does it not?
I used to think this too, but lately I have been meeting a bunch of (mostly college-age) girls who think "hooking up" refers to any sexual activity at all including simply making out. It's still very possible that she did not have sex with this guy.

That said, the bigger issue here seems to be that you don't trust your girlfriend.

Your boy,
870

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:36 pm 
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Hmm, interesting...

And yeah, you probably hit the nail on the head. I trust her with every other guy on the planet... but this one guy just doesn't sit right with me. To be honest, I'm a little jealous of their relationship.... inside jokes, watching TV together (without me, mind you!), random gifts (although that may be AFC, she definitely responded well).....

I donno what the best course of action is. Is this something I need to fix within myself, or do I need to take this guy aside and have a little "talk"?

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"A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes." - Mohandas Gandhi


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 12:17 am 
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I covered this topic in-depth here: cheating-male-best-friends-and-jealousy-vt48749.html

PM me if you have any questions.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 12:54 am 
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I have a feeling you are being cheated on my friend...women are much better liers then men and can lead you on for a very very long time! before you notice anything. this is what you need to say to her "Babe do you care about me?, can I trust you?, would you ever lie to me?, did you or have you ever cheated on me?"

Look her in the eyes and watch her reaction...If she freaks out at you, or act like your a dick, and get defensive then 99% of the time shes a cheater. Then I would ask her again with a strait face..."did you cheat on me?" and if she says no again and you beleve her then you cant do much lol but odds are if she cheated you will be able to tell.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 11:27 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:44 am
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When I say "hook up" I mean just make out.... And so do my female friends...


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