... on the same day, no less.

(I've made the jump from MM game to natural game ever since meeting my gf, but this is just something I know I need a little assist on. This is a long one, but I tried to make it interesting at least so you don't fall asleep on me.)

Her grandmother had been in bad shape due to cancer and my gf was readying herself for it. Everyone who's lost a loved one knows no matter how "ready" you make yourself, it's an earthquake.

She texts me last Sunday saying that she can't hang out with me at the shore the next weekend. At first, I was disappointed. I had purchased tickets to the Beatstock concert as a surprise... she had been hyping it up for weeks if not months!

But much like Spiderman gets his "Spidey Senses", my "Boyfriend Senses" were tingling. I knew something was wrong, so I called her that night. (Don't ask how I knew, I think I've calibrated to my girlfriend a little too well lol.)

So I call her telling her I'm a little saddened that she couldn't go. She opens up with a "Fuck you." ("lol", I think, because she doesn't realize yet what my intentions are) Then I tell her, "Nah, I know that something major is keeping you, I'm just saddened because I had gotten tickets to Beatstock for us."

She started crying in joy, telling me how much she loved me for doing something like that for her. After some soothing talk, I asked her, "Is it what I think it is?"

"Yes. And my aunt." (Inner thought: )

That was heavy, but I stayed on the phone late into the night with her, and told her she could call me whenever that night (I had work the next morning, but seriously something like this I'll sacrifice sleep to console her).

She flies across seas for the week for the funerals and isn't set to return until Saturday. I prayed for her every night and got busy setting up the tickets from a Saturday show to a Sunday show.
I also texted her once telling her that I loved her and that I hope she's safe. I figured this was time for her and her family and felt it'd be intrusive had I called her.

Well Saturday comes along and she calls me. She tells me that she's pissed that I didn't call her once while she was in Poland. I decided that now wasn't the time for a "relationship talk" after she had experienced such a horrible week-long trip, so I simply apologized and said calmly that I felt it was time for her and her family. She didn't accept it as the truth and told me not to be surprised if she didn't call me for a week and that she couldn't be my girlfriend at this time.

Of course, I'm pissed after the phone call because I certainly did care. And while I told her exactly what I was thinking (and I'm sure she knew beforehand), she didn't seem like she was listening.

I go to her house Sunday to make sure she's okay. I offer her a hug, but she doesn't want to be touched. Stung, but I guess I could understand. After a while, she goes on about how she can't be a proper girlfriend since "the girlfriend's job is to be lovey-dovey and the boyfriend's job is to love unconditionally" and she couldn't do her half. It would be all me.

At first, I sort of resisted this idea. I can understand she wants space, but a boyfriend is more than just a sexual partner! He's also a friend, confidant, consoler, etc.
So it ends strangely. More or less, she tells me "you know, boyfriends are *supposed* to let the girlfriend rant and rave and overreact and he just takes it until she calms down, then is loving!" lol, describing my job? Oh no, you don't.

I tell her, "Look, if everything you said was how the world is SUPPOSED to work, then I would've left this house a while ago when you said you wanted to break up. And I *KNOW* if I even tried to step out that door, you would be pissed that I left so easily and you'd take a large stage cane to pull me the f*ck back here. She smiled in admission.


ANYWAY HERE'S MY QUESTION:

How can I help her? She's at home taking care of tons of responsibilities, such as caring for the house, tending to her studies, etc, since her mother is tending to things across seas. She doesn't want lovey-dovey (or even being touched, for that matter) from me, but then again she's closing everyone else out too.

My plan so far: I texted her Sunday after the concert saying, "Look, I know you said don't do anything cute or sweet, but seeing as though it's Me who's texting and you're already smiling, your request is damn impossible. Have sweet dreams " She did laugh and respond well to it, so I know she's okay.

I'm giving her space with a text I sent her Tuesday. In the meantime, I made a small gift for her (God, I hope she doesn't Google this so my surprise isn't ruined lol). I typed out in Word my entire account of the adventure my friend and I had at Beatstock (making our way from the very back of the nosebleed section to the front of the stage). She had asked me to have fun and to tape record it so it would be as if she were there (before we parted ways). The guards prevented the camcorder from coming in, so storytelling and some pictures would have to do the trick. I told her about how I made a small present for her and she said to give it to her Saturday when she has less stress.

Also since she's basically doing everything on her own, I'm thinking of making ratatouille and bringing it to her home in a Tupperware bowl. Maybe clean a bit for her so she can relax, then I'd go home.

Thing is, I don't want to be *too* mushy because that's just disgusting, but I want to basically help her during her mourning by making things around her a little easier. I can't help her mourn, but I can relieve her of some headaches.

Thoughts please! (And $5 to the guys who read this top to bottom )

EDIT: If there's another thing I should be/could be doing, let me know. If you want to tell me something I should NOT be doing, let me know what I should do in its place. Also note that it's because of love (and not one-itis) that I'm doing all this. If we actually broke up, I would be sad... perhaps even depressed a bit, but my life would go on. Just so I don't get any AFC-becoming-aPUAs saying "You're putting too much importance" when we're talking relationships, not dating.

my girlfriend's sister at the time passed away in a car accident. I had no idea on what to do. There really isn't a lot you can do. I went to their house and kind of just sat around making small talk with them. When there is a death people don't really want to be around that family. So if you can handle being around that sort of environment, they might appreciate it more than anything else.

Bee to the Em to the You to the Pee.

Still not resolved =/. I live 26 miles away and have a job, while she's taking classes (I graduated, she's a year or two away), so being there physically isn't all that plausible.