Non-PUA Question:She wont get off her ass and better herself



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:03 am 
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Fellow PUA'S/rAFC's

This question doesnt necesarily apply to PUA philosophy. I've been dating this girl for about 3 months, we have an awesome relationship, very sexual and entertaining. However, It's becoming a bit too predictable. Here is her daily schedule, everyday of the week: Wake up at 12 noon, lay in bed until 3, get ready and go to work at 430, work until 700, then go out and get drunk. Everynight. She says that she is going to take classes this fall at the local university, for radiology, classes start at the end of this month, and she has yet to register for classes. I'm starting to get a little bit of buyers remorse myself, she has no motivation. All we do/ talk about is fucking, and her friends loser boyfriends, and I'm just tired of it. Question is, how should I talk to her about this? Confront her on it? Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?

Thanks Gents,

Marlow

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:13 am 
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The best thing to do is to lead by example and make it clear what you want....its hard to tell somone what to do because no one likes to be criticized and she will prob snap at you rather then listen.

Start talking about your future and your dreams and how you are going to go about reaching them...talk about how much lazy people bother you and give examples and and stores....dont point fingers just let her know what you like and dont like...it will make her think.

Start going to the gym and tell her you want her to come, tell her you want to get in shape and you feel out of shape ect ect....she will get the point and want to do thhe same.

If this doesnt work you might have to simply let her know how you really feel and let her know you want to be with somone who has the same passion and views on life that you do. Dont make her feel bad but just let her know that perhaps you dont want the same things and it might not work...if she really likes you she will clean up her act and if not then it was not meant to be.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 8:50 pm 
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Honestly man, there is only so much you can do in this situation. You can't change who someone is. If it comes down to it, you need to be prepared to walk away.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 8:55 pm 
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Quote:
Honestly man, there is only so much you can do in this situation. You can't change who someone is. If it comes down to it, you need to be prepared to walk away.
Not so fast. If he likes this women and has a good relaationship then he should try to work with her and be open....relationships take alot of work! people call it quits way to fast because they dont want to put in the time. I will agree that you should leave her if she does not change but atleast try to work things out.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:05 pm 
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dark one I'm quiet aware of that. You stated already that he needs to work at it. I was simply reminding him he needs to be WILLING to lose her. There are to many guys that hold on to this sliver of hope that they can change a girl and instead of quitting when its a dead end, they press on to personal detriment turning the relationship into a relationshit.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 4:27 am 
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Yes I see your point but I think alot of people give up on relationships way to fast for dumb reasons. It is true that you can not change somones....so if she is a very very lazy person then it could be a lost cause, on the other hand perhaps its just a bad habit...perhaps she procrastinates and is lazy because it has been her routine for so long. Give it some time and work at it and 9 times out of 10 if you both really like each other you will both make it work and she will make the changes necessary to make you happy.

If you lead and she does not follow then you need to go to her and tell her how you feel....let her no that you cant be with somone who doesnt have the same drive as you...chances are she will be mad because you are criticizing her but atleast you are being honest with your self and with her. communication and honesty is crucial to have a healthy relationship and somtimes the truth hurts!


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:05 pm 
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The best thing to do is to lead by example and make it clear what you want

This is good advice...

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 3:49 pm 
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Quote:
Fellow PUA'S/rAFC's

This question doesnt necesarily apply to PUA philosophy. I've been dating this girl for about 3 months, we have an awesome relationship, very sexual and entertaining. However, It's becoming a bit too predictable. Here is her daily schedule, everyday of the week: Wake up at 12 noon, lay in bed until 3, get ready and go to work at 430, work until 700, then go out and get drunk. Everynight. She says that she is going to take classes this fall at the local university, for radiology, classes start at the end of this month, and she has yet to register for classes. I'm starting to get a little bit of buyers remorse myself, she has no motivation. All we do/ talk about is fucking, and her friends loser boyfriends, and I'm just tired of it. Question is, how should I talk to her about this? Confront her on it? Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?

Thanks Gents,

Marlow
You Get up at 6:00 in the morning and go for a run. Come back and get your self in another activity. Keep yourself preoccupied with something, read a book and when she wants to talk about fucking or her BF tell her about this interestingbook you read, or music you listened too, or movie you watched, or an interesting story from your past that has made an impression on your life and made you the person you are.

The problem is not your GF. The problem here is YOU. You have to welcome her in your reality and your world. But you let yourself get dragged into her world mate. Good Luck


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