| well i got a terrible story ..... i had a fucked up relationship with a girl and why i tell this is because i need some advice and i need to empty my emotional trash can. This was by far my most troubled relationship ever in the most troubled period of my life.
this is a sad story for me, if you really want to read a terrible story read on, im trying to make it as short as possible( which is hard). maybe i drinking too much right now....
i met my fiance at school , i met her she was a friend of a friend and i liked conversations with her, so i asked her MSN.
the following days she was online for several hours a day and she was talking to me and i enjoyed it, i wasn't hitting on her or something from the first day we met we were friends already. I invited her over with a friend and after the friend left it was only me and her and she asked if i felt the same - ( im not discussing my PUA tricks becasue there was natural flow - i didnt need to use tricks acutually)
so i kissed her and we holded eachother - she resisted at fist but after a few minutes we were cuddling and that kind of stuff. she slept at my place we didnt had any sex i was falling in love with this girl ... after 2 weeks.
anyway we were in love and we saw eachother every day and she did want to talk about exes and all kind of other stuff , she told me she broke up with her ex and she told everything about her past etc.
anyway a few weeks after i found out she was a rather troubled person, she had so many problems in her youth and even now she feels like trash.
i helped her and i did help her with school with , her parents etc.
only after a while we had stupid fights over nothing the smallest things but mostly it was about me not trusting her - she was always weird and mysterious about some things( my ex-ex cheated on me), she was a very un-needy and in-tolerant person she became angry rather quick - at this moment i had some weird feelings about her. anyways we got rid of all the fights i gave her gifts, i really cared about her.
she also had a disease- some kind of chronical fatique disease, i went with the hospital to her - she was visiting the hospital for years , she also cried alot it really hitted me. After a while we had some good moments and i bought her a ring - and she accepted ! she was my fiance ! i was so happy.
Now her dark side showed up.....
the hospital didn't want to examine her anymore because they couldn't find anything, she felt terrible - no one could help her now and i was fucking angry at the hospital.
so she came to my house ( we had a fight before this ) and she fell on the floor crying , i asked her what happened. she explained the hospital stuff and that she felt like suiciding. she revealed more about her past and her disease, things i didnt know and i want her to talk about it so she agreed to see a therapist.
I came home from the gym and went online on msn and talked to her( she talked to the therapist).... suddenly she want to break up she said our relation was shit @!4!$. i told her wtf was wrong and she replied everything . i told her id visit but she thtreathened to call the police.
I did visit her and talked to for several hours - from evening to the next day.
she revealed everything about her past she got abused by older people and she was always drunk, she even was recorded in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.
she also was very slutty , she kissed alot of guys and had many many boyfriends.
most of her stories shocked me but i told her i will love her no matter what, i also asked if the disease was caused by the alcohol and drugs - she was afraid its the case but the doctors examined her and couldn't find anything.
she cried again, i told her i loved her so fucking much that i even would give her my kidney to her. i would transplant all the fucking organs out of my body and give them to her. we talked for an hour and i went home.
next days we had many fights, over small things - she did not return my text messages and she did not want me to visit her.
it felt like she changed ... i dont know, she took alot of distance and if we had a small stupid fight about nothing she immedialty threathened to break up.
so i gave her time and only say her 2 days a week.
anyway after a while i had a problem and i want to talk to her about it, because i felt bad . i used drugs ( heroin ) and the last time i used was 4 weeks before i met her ( i told her that the 3th week, i didnt lie or something. ). i want to talk to her about it and why i felt so bad and why i did use it back then, so i went to her house and she was very open - but after i told the story she said she didn't want anything from me and shouted in my face to leave. i was very angry because i helped her soo much and now she wouldnt listen to my problems, she said to me ''i didn't knew what love is''........
next day she visited me... kissed me and said sorry and i accepted it, she told me she was very shocked about what i told her etc. the day after i was very worried because she looked bad and very tired, so i looked on the internet for hospitals/doctors that could help her. I visited her next day and told her i was worried about her past and asked if she told the doctor about it .... she suddenly shouted i should shut up about it and she will never tell me anything again. i went outside - smoked a bit cooled down and went back inside to watch a movie with her - the following evening i told her im not happy with and asked her why the hell she reacts this way im only here to help. she said nothing - this month i didnt slep at her place , we did not had sex , if i went to the cinema with her she was tired and frustrated she always made little insults to cover up the fact shes tired. when i visited in the evening she always fell asleep..... i saw her 2 evening a week and when i visited it was boring - she couldnt eat anything or drink any liquir cause she had a special diet.
so i cried in the kitchen i was so unhappy about everything we had some arguements and fights... i slept in another room....
she was a shitty girlfriend..... she never invited me we never went out becasue she was tired , but when she did go out she never invited me - she was a very egoistic person and i argued about it.
suddenly one day she called me and she broke up with me, she told me she didn't love me for the past 2 months, that she missed her ex boyfriend more when she had a relationship with him and she loved him more- and that she want to be friends...... she made some shitty insults .....
the day before this she told me she loves me and i slept at her place.
a week before she broke up she told me she didn't want to lose me
a month before she broke up she told me she want to have children with me.
i went to the ... puked ..... huge headache.... i felt miserable
i went home and slept like the whole world was too heavy.
now i went on ballastic mode .....
a waited a month .. i freezed her out a month and called her and in 5 minutes we were already argueing... she apoligized for making shitty comments about her ex boyfriend etc. we both knew this relationship wasn't going anywere for both of us so i agreed to be friends with her, but 2 weeks after i called again because i felt mistreated and bad .. in this relationship i gave 300 % i did soo much i invested so much and SHE was my fiance i talked about how i felt and my frustrations and she insulted me ...... she said im mean alot to her and hung up, 2 hourse later i threw my ring in her mailbox.....
this is such a fucking coincedence ... some time after this i visited the hospital and saw her walking towards the child / abortion section. i was like wtf is going on because i knew the hospital wouldn't treat her for her complains.
suddenly everything flashes through my brain ... I knew she did not had her period for 2 months.. i knew we had unsafe sex .....and she was afraid she was pregnant. i was standing 2 meters away from her and im sure she saw me , i know 100 % sure it was her. i decided to leave and talk to her over the phone, and she denied everything......... she also became very aggresive towards me.
i felt bad ... i had a accident on my work and couldn't exercise and had to give up my boxing career, i lost my job. i failed at school and was using drugs again. i have no family and i lost quitte alot of friends because of the relationship with her. i had huge debts and some someone i cared about died. i heard rumors from her best friend that she was pregnant of and i was the father...she took a an abortion... i was totally devastated... also she probably knew this shit when she broke up with me ...
one day everything got so bad, i couldn't buy food i was becoming homeless and i couldn't talk to people i was so frustrated.
after a while i decided to end my life ( druggies can make u feel bad ) i overdosed drugs and became sick, i live about quarte a mile from my Ex fiance's house and i lost all my friends, i didn't had anyone to go to. somehow i showed up at my ex fiances door and collapsed, her dad called a ambulance and stuff and i was recorded into the hospital. my ex fiances response was :'' he did use drugs before, i want nothing to do with him he is harrasing me'' i thought she cared about me ......
2 weeks later i visited her house again , i thanked her dad for looking after me and i spoke to her as well... i told her we really need to talk about some things, i talked and after 4 minutes she had enough she felt angry , guilty etc and she threw the door in my face... i punched the wall 3 times and left....called her and said she should get the fuck out of my face when she sees me .
this was a long time ago.... but 4 days ago i met some guys , one of them is her ex he also was a friend of me during my youth, and they sat down with me and they talked about her .... almost everything she told me were lies, she even cheated last 3 weeks of our relationship and 2 weeks after we broke up she already had an new guy. she cheated on her ex to thats why he dumped her etc, i even talked to her new boyfriend and he confirmed it all - so everything was true the pregnancy stuff etc
80 % of what she told me were al lies, i believed so hard in us i gave so much i was so serious and loved her so much ........i had girlfriends but ive never been in love, she is the only one i ever loved...she fucking treated me so bad...
Now this may sounds weird but somehow i still care about her , im angry and i know shes trash .... i have the desire to take revenge but what i really want is to talk to her and find some peace.
i am doing some PUA stuff and im in the field opening sets... but somehow i can't escalate things further then comfort zone because ''she '' is still somewhere in my head.
i hope we see eachother over a few months and maybe can talk some stuff out, do you think this wil happen ?
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