a little background on the situation first without discussing too much of the specifics of the relationship and how we met etc...

I'm in a LDR with a girl for about a month now. We are very sexually attracted to each other. There is extreme sexual tension every time we speak. We also talk a lot about a lot of different things. Happen to share a lot of the same interests too.

First i'd like to state that i'm not a jealous person but in this situation i feel that it's justified and I really dont know how i should react.

She hung out with a group of friends, i think mostly guys which is completely cool with me. One of them wanted to see a movie with her afterwards, apparently alone. I dont know if she agreed to it or what but I'm on the phone with her later at 2 am and he shows up at her house. I do not feel comfortable with the situation and i let her know as calmly and relaxed as i could before we hung up.

Well I just woke up, 3 hours later, with that anxious feeling at the fact that i have not gotten a text or phone call from her...I called her and no answer as expected.

I'm ready to end it right now because I'm not cool with the situation. I want to text her that "we need to talk", and let her know exactly my position on situations like this, but I also dont want her to know how much this is effecting me.

Any advice would be appreciated guys, thanks.

Well buddy,

your in a pickle and there is no denying that...

before I get into the nitty gritty...

the short and sweet is Trust... do you trust her or not.

LDR's are touph for this very reason... your imagination and mind are really going to Fuck with you at every turn...

but FIRST... OK... Now I may get some shit for this...
but its ok to be a little jealous of your girl... she is YOURS... and you are HERS...
If thats the type of relationship you have, then yeah... a LITTLE jealousy is probably healthy... Id be worried if you didnt care at all
BUT if thats not the type of realtionship you have... then yeah... even a little jealousy is not ok.

BUT remember... jealousy is really easy to over-do... especailly in a LDR
again to above statement... do you trust her or not...
obvously your not completely cool with her hangin with the guys... and if thats the case... just own that fealing and dont try to sugar coat it... deal with the emotion and address where its coming from.


lastly lets look at logistics

you were on the phone with her at 2 am
dude shows up apparently to watch a movie... ok... any movie is gonna be done in probably 2 hours or less...

you wake up 3 hours later *if you didnt go to sleep and were just counting the minutes its ok to admit that =)* so its 5am

just consider that for a min... and be carefull how you react without finding out what happened first

to wrap up ill go back to the start... TRUST... your ready to end it right now because you dont TRUST her, its not this situation its the relationship. This situation just brings it to a breaking point.

my advice... look internally and figure out if you can trust this girl at all... if the answer is yes... then sit down and calmly tell her that your not comfortable with situations like last night... explain your feelings and see if a compromise can be worked out... not out of anger, but a mutual understanding that while you guys are apart this situation can be difficult.

thats about the best I can say,
wishing you the best buddy, its hard spot... LDR's are never easy

Lucky

_________________
150 people are killed every year by Falling Coconuts.... 10 by Shark Attack.

I couldn't find any stats on death from approaching a woman.

thanks a lot for the reply...thats pretty much what i planned on doing.

i think the situation gets to me more than it should because a similar one happened with my first gf a long time ago (was with her for 2 1/2 years) and all the signs pointed towards her cheating.

by saying im ready to end it...im meaning that if something were to happen i'm ready to end it in a calm manner. I do want to hear her out though and let her know that it bothered me without jumping to any assumptions.

Been there... sorta. Sounds like something I would have gone through. My ex would hang out with a bunch of dudes. one night we were talking after she got back from some parties. I was not with her, this was on the phone. i told her i was coming down to her place. she said no, im going to go to bed, etc. i kept saying i was going to come and finally she said "ok, but just so you know, my ex is sleeping on the couch". They always seem to hide things like this.

In my opinion you know exactly what happened... or at least what the guy wanted out of it. did it happen? Maybe, maybe not.

But it does come down to trust... do you trust her or not?