Ok i did something very, very stupid. I was trying to make a joke/neg about my girlfriends arms when she was talking about how big they were (they are regular sized) and i said "ya you do have really big arms" or something along those lines jokingly and that really offended her. She gave me the silent SPAM and when i apologized and tried to talk to her she just sat in silence. Apparently a friend was joking with her about them and I just added to the problem. I see it as small marbles and childish but it was about her body and apparently her arms are a hang-up. I have no clue where to go from here and what i can really do to show her i wasn't serious and to help her get over her body hang-ups. I am ashamed that i hurt her and it is a horrible feeling and i want to try and work it out.

Sorry for the rant and thanks a lot for any help.

If she acts offended "Hey, you said it, not me".

after all, you just agreed with her.

she wasnt exactly saying "i have big arms" she was just looking at them and saying "how do they get this big" so that might not work. thanks though.

as a general rule, it's best to stay away from things people can't change. this applies for everything, negs and even pissing about with your mates.

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Ya that is a good rule. It was one of those things that as i was saying i just couldnt realize why i was and instantly as i said it i regretted it. I have never really insulted someone like this before.

Thats a good rule.

And also stay away from things that can cause a psychological pang for them. Like if youre target is married or has a BF steer clear of insulting or hurting her feelings with anything to do with guilt-ish things. I've been there done that and was forced to apologize, nearly derailing me. Would've lost that one if I didnt keep the apology sincere enough as well as SHORT. If you must apologize, Do NOT kill her with AFC style apology and grovelling, keep the frame.

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"Do not follow to where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson