Let me start by saying I have limited experience with long term relationships, I'm 24 and my longest has been 2 years. I can't even imagine the history or emotional experiences you two have shared. I am assuming some have been awesome, and some have completely sucked. Particularly the situation you have now. Understand this; she is the mother of your kids! She will always be in your life, she has no real choice about that unless she bounces on your kids, which would be fucked, and you don't want anymore of that anyways.

A relationship doesn't work when only one person is trying to make it work. You can lead a horse to water, if you know what I'm saying. Life, from what I have learned, is about giving, giving of yourself to other people. Forgive me for saying this but, you are trying to 'take' from this situation. You have a fear of loss, understandably so of course!

Honestly, I would look at your kids as the number one priority. What is the best situation for them? Mom and dad fighting and unhappy together? Or mom and dad civil and reciprocal when it comes to them, perhaps split up? I mean you guys decided not to get married for Christ's sakes because you foresaw a divorce! What kind of confidence in eachother is that?

I would say, help her understand (through your actions) that you are the best thing going for her. Help her pack even though its hard. Let her go for a while, even though its hard. She will see you as the caring, un-needy guy she fell for in the first place. Let go of the "Oh she's my type, a total 10, there's no more around here like her." I don't claim to understand what you're going through, but that sounds kind of selfish (sorry again for saying that). You are a MAN, man! You will survive no matter what.

Bottom line- you have the best chance of getting her back if you let her go, and let her realize this one on her own, rather than you convincing her. She wants to peace out for a little; she may seriously need that to get herself back in check. Be like water; resisting means digging yourself deeper. Good luck man. At least shes not a drug addict, like that bitch played by Sharon Stone in Casino. You have a real shot at a future with this chick, just take a break for now. Keep us posted.

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Swoop

Yeah man, i absolutely agree with Swoop.

Your children are the most important part you and she have to pay attention to right now.
Especially if one of them has a disorder, I believe that means that you have to be even more caring for them especially in a hard situation like this.

I don't want to believe that the main reason that you wanna keep her are her legs!
Well anyway, I'll say it too: Let her go, be the stable one and keep your focus on you children. You say she is selfish and narcistic? That means all the more that you have to be there for your children.

Btw, we are all strangers in this forum for philzy (as i assume), that's right, but we give advice with his interest at heart dont we? We aren't professionals, but that's better than nothing. And it's not like Philzy will just follow any advice without contemplating it himself.

Well thought I would update everyone . I helped her packed and move . The thing with the other guy never really went anywhere . We where staying with each other off and on 3 times a week for a while now its down to 1 to none but we are still fucking . Thats the funny thing we are JUST fucking and she dosen't want kissed during sex (wtf???) Now she is kinda talking to another guy she wants her cake and to eat it to basically . She wants to just fuck me and to see other people and not fuck them seems a little screwed up and sooner or later its got go one way or another ....
She goes out Every Friday its nuts and she is nuts But on a brighter note I have been doing a little sarging !!
Not sure whats going to happen but my mind is in a different place now somewhat and I know sooner or later they all come crawling back , but by that time I don't think I'll take her back She is still selfish and bitch and I let her know that and she knows I can get other girls .
its like playing games I would still like to get back more control considering lol
thanks to everyone and what the fuck is up with the no kissing ?

Hey man, glad to see that things are a little more stable for you. I've had the no kissing just fucking routine pulled on me too. Can't say exactly its the same situation, but in mine, the girl was just looking to fuck, she didn't want to get emotionally involved "because kissing will make me like you." At the time, I was a good fuck but didn't offer much in the 'relationship' category and she knew nothing serious was there. Hence, she wanted to be detached from me on an emotional level.

I was talking to a friend about getting married at a young age, marrying your 'first-love' and the consequences it has because of our society today. The girl may need at some point to just get out there and experience new things, they feel like their situation has cut out certain "chapters" or experiences. My friend was asked by his friend (someone I dont know) to fuck his wife because she is curious about being with other people. She was a virgin when they got married and has only gotten one dick.

It blew my mind that the dude wanted my friend to fuck his wife but at least the guy was understanding enough to facilitate the encounter. I guess he figured if she didn't get it, she would always wonder about it, and wind up cheating on him. That is why I will never have a problem with my wife for having gone through her 'whore phase.' I get the feeling your wife, or X, or whatever, just needs to let loose. I would say stop fucking her on her terms, ie whenever she wants. Take back some power and turn it down a few times. She may end up fucking someone else, but at least youre not being used.

Plus you gotta see the situation for what it is right now- she wants to get back those chapters she missed out on. Let her, she will respect you for understanding this. I think you have a better chance of getting back with her if you can appreciate her urge to rebel and "facilitate" it. Oh ya- go fuck some other chicks too! You deserve a little fun and mischievous behavior as well.

Also, how are your kids doing??

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Swoop