help!

i used to date a girl a couple months ago - for about 5 weeks (slept with her a few times) and really really fell for her - even though i don't have trouble picking up and meeting girls = one-i-tis!

i (stupidly) had my heart on my sleeve in the beginning, think she got scared after a few weeks, and pulled back. a little over a year ago, she did get out of a 5 year relationship where she was engaged (a little over a year ago). i think maybe while we were dating, she was also seeing someone else... maybe a long distance guy since she would have 'friends visiting' on a couple consecutive weekends.

to make a long story short, i pulled back and she really didn't make an effort. so it's been a little over a month since we've hung out/talked.

yesterday she sent me an email that was quite nice, but lacking real emotional depth or anything about her missing me. more like a 'how have you been!??!! what's new?!?' email.

anyway, i ended up inviting her to something a few days out. she said she has a 'client dinner' but when she found out it would be over by 7:30pm, she said ok.

i think she's probably dating someone else (probably not in the area) or doesn't want to be intimate anymore, so i'm wondering how should i act when i see her in a couple days. perhaps just being fun and nice, but not giving her too much attention. don't know...

i'm afraid of being crazy one-i-tis into her again and once again getting really hurt, so would be great to feel in control when we see each other and for her to walk away feeling like she's missing out by not being with me.

i would love to push her attraction switches!!!! how do i push her attraction switches with an old one-i-tis if she's not into it anymore or dating someone else?

suggestions?!?? help!!!

You'll be able to pull some switches on her, if you can get rid of your one-itis. But you haven't,, so you're gonna go down the road of pain.

I wouldn't see her again until I could lower her value to a "second tier" status in my own mind....

Can you do that?

Dude,,, you can't act your way out of this one, it has to be real.

Man, you can do. Just do it.

i agree 100%

it's not IMPOSSIBLE to get a girl that you have oneitus for, but it is VERY difficult.