I think I might be coming into this conversation a little late (I see you deleted one of your previous posts, why?) but I wanted to put in my 2 cents worth anyways.
Trying to make her jealous might work, but usually when you have one-itis you end up totally hamboneing it and making it obvious that your only doing it because your seeking a reaction and as we all know, reaction seeking is low value. I find the best way to make someone jealous/chase you is vagueness. Think about it, why is her going to these parties and hanging out with these people bothering you? Probably because you don't know whats happening when she's there and your mind keeps trying to fill in the blanks. Do this to her. Personally, I wouldn't say things like, "I gotta let you go so I can get ready for a date." I'd just act distracted, and keep trying to get off the phone with her. Treat her like you would treat an annoying relative calling you when you have company over, i.e. polite, distracted, but with that "I really gotta let you go" tone to your voice. This should make her wonder "why is he trying to let me go?" if she asks, try to change the subject, if she presses, say your meeting someone, if she still presses say "oh, it's just some girl, it's no big deal." and then try to change the subject. If she keeps pressing keep being evasive, and then abruptly tell her you have to go and that you'll call her right back. Call her the next day, and if she asks why you didn't call say, "I'm sorry I just totally spaced. My bad." then, change the subject.
However, I really think you should just let this one go. One-itis sucks big time, but the real question you should ask yourself is this, "Would somebody who loves me treat my feelings like this?" One of my personal tricks is to imagine a friend telling me about them going through the same thing I'm going through, and what kind of advice I'd give them. More often than not the answer is: "Dump them, she's treating you badly. She's not worth it." Then take your own advice.
Remember: there is NO ONE worth sacrificing your self respect for.

Hey guys i really appreciate your help, unfortunately it's already over hehe.
I like tempest's talk to her like you talk to a relative haha. And yeh i'm in the process of getting over her now Just trying to keep myself busy!
However, to my surprise she wrote to me last night when i got home from a concert and we talked and talked. She still loves me and misses me but she can't do the whole long distance thing. She also put forth she likes "basterds" and aprarently i'm too lovey dovey haha. Ah well who knows maybe we'll pick this up sometime in the future, but like leprechaun told me i really shouldn't dwell on this girl. . .. just that she was so fkin hot SHIIIT!. . .. no forget her. . .. hahaha
I really do appreciate everyone's help This forum helps people in ways no other can. . . what is more troublesome than girls, love and relationships after all.

Thanks guys

im in a similar situation. long distance for 7 months now since ive been in college this year. shes always been wrapped around my finger. but she enjoyed it and so did i. we both always have stayed faithful to each other and our relationship has been very strong in my opinion.

i went home for month about 4 weeks ago. and these past couple weeks weve both been really busy, our schedules have been conflicting. so we havent been talking as much only 10 -15 minutes most nights including a couple days where we'd have a nice long convo. and weve gotten into a couple stupid fights that weve never dealt with b4 but we made up and everything within the same day.

anyways yesterday, were having a nice long, normal talk and i made a comment how im stressed out. i feel burned out about this relationship and cant wait to see her in 4 days. she began talking about if we should go on a break until i move back home for good in 3 months.

ultimately she said considering everything that was said she thinks it would be best for us to break up. and while she still loves me and she hopes i still see her when i return home multiple times in this next 3 months, she cant take this waiting for me... and thinks its for the best..

im so confused how this came all of a sudden. she went from telling me she finished my valentines present to lets break up in one long convo.

i turned into a needy bitch for the rest of the night and asked her why and tried to figure things out and we just said well talk tomorrow (today). i know i cant appear desperate anymore and i want to be the strong one and go out with pride if thats what it takes. but i think im just gonna tell her we should go on a "break" after i see her this weekend.

i know its a long story. but any input is appreciated. i dont know why she would just throw this relationship away based on how shes felt in the past 2 weeks.

The problem stems from you both building a life for yourselves that is entirely seperate. In my own experience, the biggest issue with a long distance realtionship (and this is a girl I was with for two years) stems from being forced to create a new social circle that's totally removed from that of the other person. You end up living two lives; the one with her, and the one without her. Sometimes it's really, really difficult to reconcile the two, regardless of how strong the bond you had in the first place was. It's no one's fault; it just happens.

In a situation like that, the best and only course of action is to break it off, painful as that is. The worst thing you can do is stretch it out, ask why, argue, try and rekindle something that simply doesn't, and cannot exist any more. It only leads to resentment. Better to accept that the time you had is over, and walk away with your head held high.

thanks mailer.. ur advice makes a lot of sense. the social circle thing. she has told me before she feels like im a different person when im here and she doesnt know what im doing or who im with. even tho we still talk everyday and i tell her everything.

but should i follow your advice considering..
1. im not staying here. im moving back home for good in 3 months. and we planned to be together
2. and over these next 3 months i will return home a few times about every 3 weeks give or take for long weekends and 10 days for spring break.

we say everything is perfect when were together. everything feels fine for both of us and soon i wont have to worry about leaving her.

i dont know why this is happening so suddenly. it wasnt gradual at all

In all honesty, I'd suggest not having any contact for those three months. It's a win/win situation. If it turns out you still have feelings for each other when you get back, then great, you can act on that. If not, then you've just spent three months apart learning to live without her - you'll be stronger for that regardless of what happens (assuming you don't spend those three months locked in your house, rocking in a foetal position...but that's not you...right!)

The worst thing to do here is what I did...chase and chase and chase and beat yourself up over something you have no control over. It's just shitty circumstances, nothing more.

I know exactly what you mean man, it feels so fucking sudden when they do this shit.
Anyway, i have to agree, don't chase and chase, NOTHING good will come out of that.
I did that as well. . . .FAIL, at times i chased just to try and understand what was going on, FAIL. . .. just let it cool for a while, get your mind off it. And seriously, beat yourself to death before you initiate the contact with her, you'll leave her wondering, which is your best weapon right now.
Either way, if it does unfortunately end, at least you'll come out lookin strong meaning you can pick her up another time (i.e after you move back).
If i could only go back in time slap myself in the face and told myself what i just told you, i'd not only be a much happier man, but i'd also know that i could pick this up another time.


I really really couldn't agree more with Mailer. . . haha dude you can rest assure you're not alone there, i did the exact same thing. . . chase chase chase. . . fkn idiot >.<

DUDE.....youve been together 10 months......let it go man you havent fucked up........if you feel that way talk about it.......you have the top 2 relationship killers ever......1)jealosy and 2) your not communitacting what you genuanly feel.

change that.....and you will be fine.....dont and it will be over very quickly

well things kinda changed for me.. she said shes decided she wants to try this and this is what she needs right now.

she doesnt want a boyfriend and she has no intention of finding one.

now she says she doesnt want to talk every night but still keep in touch.
she says we can talk every few days and hangout when i come back various times these next 3 months. but she wants time to herself now and when may comes around she would love to try to get back together.

i was being more understanding this time talking to her but i was still needy and i told her i dont really want this but if she feels she needs it ill do it.

im going home this weekend and were gonna meet up and talk.

i always used to be the only one there for her, the only one she ever truly talked to besides her other best friend and i dont think she realizes things will be harder without me.

i think i really need some pua advice to make her miss me and want me back.

i hate to think she may go date some other guy cuz i feel im not good enough and im not there to fill the void of physical love. but is it a good idea to make her jealous? or would that make her move on?

I'm far from being a PUA (to say the least) but I do have experience of what you're going through. The tone of your post suggests what she wants she gets...that's not a good thing; she's dictaing the terms, she's in the saddle. It's like that scene from Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry's sat in the passenger seat complaining about how he doesn't feel like a man when he's not driving. Same deal.

Essentailly she wants you around when it's convenient for her, without having to invest anything of herself in you directly. In other words, she's free to do as she pleases safe in the knowledge that you're a phonecall away; you're the long distance pick me up who's always glad when she calls.

Mate, I hate to say it, but right now you're being dumped in tiny increments by someone who doesn't have the guts to admit it's over. In all likelihood she gets a kick out of the attention - doesn't mean she's a bad person, more likely she's scared of being alone or hurting you. It's death by a thousand cuts; I know you don't want to hear it, but you need to take a step back before she scrambles your brain...and if you let things play out like this she will, believe me.

It's just three months. Be brave. Take a step back. Give her time to remember what it's like to miss you.

_________________
"Regretting the past, looking forward to the future, while never being satisfied with the present, this is how my life is spent." - Tchaikovsky

its really hard cuz she wants to keep in touch every few days or every once in a while. and just a week or so b4 this everything was just peachy. things were perfect. ive always thought she was more in love with me than i her. she was crazy about me

i dont wanna get over her cuz im not looking for a relationship where im living now for the next 3 months and i really feel like we have unfinished business. she was so happy with me for the past 6 months even tho i was away.

i honestly feel that after i give her space.. i dont see how she could go more than a couple of weeks without breakin down and coming back to me.

but i feel cheated and if things dont change in the next few weeks i think im just gonna tell her i cant love someone or rely on someone who wont give me that back. and im going to have to move on from her for good. and let her know i dont want to get back together when im back because shes damaged our relationship.

Your relationship is already damaged, or at least it's changed into something else. Something different. Right now you have no way of knowing how that will pan out, so it's pointless spending your time worrying about how she feels.

It's obvious you care about her, which is awesome, but realise that you don't have to go searching for someone new if you don't want to. Just have fun, socialise, speak to new people, go to new places, take your mind off her. And the next time she calls don't be needy...talk about where you've been, talk about the people you've met and the things you've done...talk about anything but you and her. Don't for a second let her think your life revolves around the contact you have. Familiarity breeds contempt in situations like this...be distant; be cold if you have to.

If she can't go a couple of weeks without you then great, but take that chance...like I said, be brave - I wish I could go back and do this, by the way; instead I royally fucked up a LTR by being the 'I miss you' guy, so don't feel bad about feeling down. I can't stress it enough dude, you have to be brave.

_________________
"Regretting the past, looking forward to the future, while never being satisfied with the present, this is how my life is spent." - Tchaikovsky