Hi gentlemen,

I guess this is one of the posts with a long-story-cut-short section at the bottom.

LONG STORY

Okay, the situation is like this: I have a long distance thing with a wonderful girl. She is very fun, self-confident, smart, loving and a lot of more traits that i love about her. Appearance-wise i'd rate her a 7.

Last summer when she was home for vacation (she goes to a college abroad), after being just friends for a long time, there is a spark of attraction, the circumstances and the time were really in out favor, and we end up really having a great time together falling in love.
So when the vacation finished, i was devastated, but i ofc also knew she was gonna go back anyway. We didnt know if we should break up because of bad the circumstances and give it a shot way later, maybe 4,5 years later.

Well, so she goes back, but we end up chatting for hours and hours on end every day for like 2months. As time passes, obviously she starts feeling that having a bf over messenger isnt the right thing for her. She felt her life lacked a good relationship. She was open to me about this and i understood. So after a little while, she starts going out with this guy.
He isn't as great as I am she told me, but she still really enjoys "having fun time with a cute guy".

I came to terms with this situation, and anyway, i had to accept i cant give her what she wants and i cant put shackles on her, plus she's being honest with me so thats always a good thing. Feelings for me didnt cease though, and we continued having conversations on chat without any problems. It was really okay.

So in Jan came the time for her winter vacation and she came back.
Well ofc i met her immediately, and we had a cute little reunion, but no kissing, just hugging, because now she's in a relationship.
We agreed it was for the best if we didnt do anything further than that.
Basically there were 2 options:

1. Just hang out with me and be like friends despite all the feelings we have for each other until the end of vacation

2. Have an affair and give ourselves into the moment, because we really love each other

We at first went with option 1 obviously, and i met her everyday. We hung out at her place, and had the greatest time, but there was always the border between us in how far we can go.
This wall was little by little cracked more and more, and we kissed, lay arms in arms for long times, enjoying being together finally.
Then we would separate out bodies and rechant again that we mustnt go down this road.

Okay, now comes the 'big event'. Yesterday I came over to her place, and i was just feeling like being sweet. I picked up a muffin for her before coming to her place, and a guitar pick (she loves that kinda stuff) and also brought my guitar cuz she asked me to teach her a bit.
Well she was really happy bout the muffin, and the pick and i played even a song for her. It felt really nice and the SPAM was just great.
So we played a bit of guitar and lied on her bed, hugging, talking, making jokes and all that. One kiss leads to another and we get really hot and horny. Funny thing was, she didnt shave her legs on purpose cuz she didnt want to have sex, so that was supposed to be her emergency brake.
Well as she was getting horny, she decided to have sex. a conscious decision, and went to the bathroom to shave her legs XD.

And then we have really great sex. It was awesome.

In the evening we texted a bit, and now she was getting guilty feelings.
She says that she cheated on her bf who really cares about her, and she's hating herself. But i mustnt feel guilty because i didnt do anything to hurt somebody and obviously i dont give a f*** about the other guy.
but she does and now she's having regrets.

So now we are theoretically in option 2 with the affair, but she isn't exactly chilled about it. I feel guilty myself though. I couldnt hold my horses and my feelings back enough to protect her from this hard situation where she is beating herself up, hating herself for 'being a whore' as she said herself.
I really want to make her feel good again, and help her deal with the guilty feelings, and thats what i ask of you guys, what ways are there to help her help herself?


SHORT STORY

Ok for all those who don't have the time to read my little novel up there:
I am in a long distance open relationship with a great girl. she has a bf at her uni, and came back for vacation. We decided we shouldnt have sex because of her bf and anyway i can't give her the relationship she'd want with me right now.

after hanging out a lot, feelings got stronger and as of yesterday, we couldnt hold back anymore and had sex. it was great sex, but in the evening she got guilty feelings. she says i'm not the one guilty but its her and her alone. she hates herself and this makes me feel bad, specially because i knew before we had sex that this would happen.

What ways are there to help her deal with the guilty feelings?

I read this and was thinking to myself...

"Why would he want her to not beat herself up about this?"

I could not come up with anything. If you want this girl, which it seems like
you do... let her get over it on her own. More than likely she will go back
to college and end up breaking up with this guy because she will tell him
that she cheated on him while she was back home.

Win-Win situation. What else do you expect from college girls?

College girls are the best ones to game because you do not have to try
hard at all to get them.

Reason being: They are away from the "nest" and their parents, via, they
are able to release their inner-most desires and fantasies. They can now
freely sleep with whoever in the hell they want to, when they want to.

POP QUIZ: Who are most strippers? College Girls working their way through
college up there on that poll or in your lap, or albeit, up there in the VIP room
making even more money XD... Oh how we like it when they blow out that
candle upstairs.... XD

_________________
| NLP eBooks etc | SEDUCTION eBooks etc |
| Sexual Decoder System (Yes, that one) **PDFs / Videos** |
I have reviewed A LOT of PUA books, videos, etc. I only upload the ones that have the best information.

Yea i'm going to have to agree with Leprchan. It sounds like you legitamately like this girl and would like to have some kind of future with her. The fact that she feels bad is a good thing because it means that if you ever further your relationship it means that you can trust her not to cheat on you. Or at least if she does, she'll feel bad enough and you'll probably know about it.

In my opinion the fault wasn't so much on you as is was on her. You didn't force her into it, she willingly decided to do it and you don't need to make her feel better. This was her decision, and the only thing you can do is be there to listen, provide advice, and comfort.

Sounds like you got something special. If it doesn't happen now, it's not the end of the world. The future is always possible.

Hope that helped

_________________
For me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.


Johnny Chase

first of all thanks for the replies.

yes, i legitimately like this girl, she's really awesome and i do think a future with her would be possible. We really fit, u see.

The next day after that, i went over to her place so that we can talk and just hang out.
She was in a good mood and it was really great. We hung out, and ended up having sex again! It was awesome sex really great, but then afterwards, she cracked and cried again, and thats when i knew we should stop. I love the sex, but i hate seeing her like that, and it's not a cool feeling having ur girl cry after every time u have sex. It's just not right.

Well i think she is dealing with it a lot better now though.
today i came over to her place agaaain and we had a fun time. We started making out again, and getting horny again and really in the sex mood, when the phone rings and the entire mood was destroyed. But i think it's better that we didnt do it.

Anyways we decided not too. What i noticed is, is that it's always me who 'seduces' her, which i like to do and she likes it too. But my seductive skills hit a weak spot on her, and she even, though rationally she doesnt want to, gives in to me. So today i felt that she was sort of angry at me that even though we agreed on it, i still tried to seduce her.

Its funny, after having sex twice in 2 days, my sexdrive was activated or smth, and it feels like i cant help but get touchy feely when i'm alone with her. before it wasnt like that.
what can i do to fight that 'urge' when i'm with her? it'd be cool to just have a normal hangout without actual sexual things going on

You keep saying you don't want her to feel bad about it etc, and you know that the sex is what makes her feel bad, but then you continue to do it anyway? If you ask me, it seems like you are trying to convince yourself that you actually have a heart and don't want this girl feeling bad about her actions, but the reality of it is, you don't actually give a shit, harsh I know, but you are a male, you get presented with the opportunity of having sex and cannot turn it down.

If you really did care about how this girl felt then you would stop seducing her, but it is clear you don't, though you may try and convince yourself and others that you do, you may as well keep at it, get the regular sex and then get back to your usual game when she leaves.

- SC

2nd Chance makes a really interesting point...
And if you really want to be sure that your feelings are real, hang out in a public place where there is no chance of anything happening. Take her to a really lame place, and see how she responds to you. If she and you can have fun anywhere, then you truely enjoy her company and the feeling is recipricated. Just be yourself, be playful and fun, and see whether or not you like this girl for her, or because your unbelievably into her physically.

The mind plays tricks on us, especially when we want sex, so take sex and all its physical compents out, put her in the friend zone for a little, and see what happens.

_________________
For me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.


Johnny Chase

hey man those replies are gold to me!

yes i thought of those things to myself. Am i just a hypocrite? Because i do really wanna have sex, but i know that i'll hate myself more every time when she suffers emotional penalty for it. So yes, i'll go absolutely to zero with the sexual actions with her from now.
I guess i'll have to jerk off more haha.

And Soul, i like ur advice and i was thinking of sort of the same. Meet our mutual friends together where we are forced to not do anything sexual anyway and enjoy just being with her. A lame place i wasnt thinking of, but i see ur point.

To my 'defense' concerning Second Chances judgemen (no hard feelings )t:
Okay, the 2 times i had sex now were my 2nd and 3rd time ever, so i am really excited about having sex in general right now, i really want to discover more.
Also it's not that i dont give a shit because i'm a male. I can pull the emergency brake, just didnt do it till now (instead today the phone rang). So i will stop seducing as u pointed out i should if i really cared.

thanks u guys, really quality replies here

I just want to throw this out there...

If she DOES NOT want to have sex with you, even if you do seduce her,
then guess what... she would NOT have sex with you.

Females can, and sometimes do resist having sex with someone even if
the guy does seduce them and get them all HOT AND BOTHERED.
(she can go home and take care of herself if she gets "bothered")...

The fact that she chooses to have sex with you is because she actually
does want to have sex with you.

Having sex is a conscious decision, not an unconscious decision.

Some might argue this, of course, but the fact of the matter is...

If you get turned on by a UG, and you don't want to sex her up, are you
going to have sex with her? Hell no!!! You are going to take your ass home,
find a pron mag, and take care of yourself... right...

This girl, your ex, does like having sex with you, she just justifys, or trys
to hide the fact by crying and blaming herself for cheating on her BF that
is back at college. When in reality, all she has to do is say, "no, I don't
want to have sex." She can always go home and take care of herself...
Some females just love the feel of the "real thing" inside them, and then
start placing blame on something, be it themself, or the guy, or.. my favorite...
they blame it on alcohol.

For all you reading this, alcohol DOES NOT make you do things that you
do not want to do. It is just an excuse that females use to justify their
actions to their girl friends... "Oh, I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing."

That line is total bullshit. They knew what they were doing. They wanted
to do it, but wanted to have an excuse to tell their friends.

_________________
| NLP eBooks etc | SEDUCTION eBooks etc |
| Sexual Decoder System (Yes, that one) **PDFs / Videos** |
I have reviewed A LOT of PUA books, videos, etc. I only upload the ones that have the best information.

Although i think you went off on kind of a rant there, and seem to make some moderatly outlandish claims, i do think you made a few interesting points. Your right, she obviously did want to have sex with him, but this doesn't seem to be how he wants it to be. Figure out what you want first, and take away the sex element. Sex is confusing to regular people, and to someone less experienced with it, it can make you feel things you don't really feel.

Obviously i don't know this girl, but she seems like she might be one of those girls to throw out a shit test every now and again. Make sure your not giving her all the power in the relationship. I'm not saying you should be a jerk, not by any means, but recognize when the girl is testing you to see how you'll react or seeing if you'll comply. You seem like a nice guy, and some girls have this kind of power, and if you let them, theyll make you miserable but somehow youll still want more. Be smart, don't oneitis, and most importantly figure out what you want with this girl and how you feel about her.

Sorry i didn't mean any beef leprechaun, i moderatly agree with most of the stuff you said, but only to a certain point. I do think alcohol is an excuse most of the time, but there are definitly times when it helps us do things we really didn't want to do.

Hope this is helping base_player,

Good luck, keep us posted

_________________
For me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.


Johnny Chase

okay this might annoy you, or prolly just be surprising. It was to me anyway.

I've said that she didnt want to have sex cuz of her guilty feelings, and i was gonna go zero.
Well after talking with her a bit more it turns out she actually does want to have sex, and go with the affair thing! I misunderstood her, when she said i was hurting her being really horny and seductive even though i said i wouldn't do it that time.

The problem was simply that it wasn't a good time. Her parents were gonna come home soon and also she had a meeting with a friend of hers, so circumstances were simply bad.
My bad that i misunderstood. Things are really cool with her right now, like today we hung out for a cup of coffee for hours and just talked, no sexual pressure at all (well ofc not in a public place).

And the conversation was really cool for both of us, and now i'm reassured that i don't just feel drawn to her sexually, cuz that was my fear for a little while.
Also she seems to have come to terms with her guilt feelings and she's very cool about it now. But i'm still tuned for any kickbacks there.

on a general note, i do agree with leprechaun, women have the choice to have sex.
Pick up artists, or seducers in general are just incredibly skilled in bringing a woman to the point where they agree to have sex as a conscious decision. it's like with female orgasms, of which i heard a man cannot make a woman have an orgasm. only lead her to it, and then she makes the choice to have it. we men can't close the deal 100% percent

Good stuff, glad to hear it man. Glad things are going well for you. And yea, that does sound about right, the girls making the decision to have sex, and making a decision to orgasm thing. Sounds about accurate.

Well anyways, good luck man hope that shit works out for you.

_________________
For me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.


Johnny Chase