here's my situation:

have a girl who i've been going with for almost two years. to begin with this relationship almost never got off the ground. i was just fresh off another relationship of about a year and was looking to just kinda recuperate and have some fun with my friends. i get introduced to this girl by another friend kind of against my will since im not looking for anything. she's pretty and fun and seems cool. we hang out a couple of times and my friend says she's really diggin me and would like to go out on some dates. i'm reluctant b/c she's 19 and im 24 and i dont want that to be an issue but i figure what the hell, if it works then so be it.

we start being official after about a month of "dating" and everything continues to go well; she's fun, pretty, easy going. but i do notice some insecurities and a negative attitude about most things and she wants to see me ALL the time. she will drive 45 min to my place to hang out for a couple hours and drive back. im there for her and try to help her pick out the good points in every situation that bugs her. i build her up about the things she doesn't like about herself, family, friends, etc. she gets a better attitude about herself, i get her to go back to school, get a good job at a bank, and ditch her old trouble-making friends while keeping the good ones. everything is really looking good for us both right then.

i feel like i am "in charge" of the relationship at this time i guess b/c when she tries getting on my case about things I tell her to knock it off and she does partly b/c i feel like she knows that if she doesn't i wont stick around for her shit. she asks for my advice and takes it but she's still really needy in terms of every free moment she will do anything to see me.

i dont know if the magic wore off or what. i still try as hard as i ever have to make her happy and support her in what she does and help her to make the right decisions in life. she doesnt listen to sound advice any more. she is more in charge now and if she doesnt get her way, she will make the night a living hell. she chooses her friends over me unless i put up a stink about things (and that doesnt even work half the time), we dont do anything sexual but maybe a few times a month. when we do have sex, i do all the "work", and she just lays there. when i ask her about simple different things we can try, she always has an excuse or says next time, blah blah blah. this really pisses me off b/c in the short 6 months before she met me she was banging anything that would stay hard. now we live with each other and things are getting worse. she talks about getting married and having babies and it's scary b/c it's only half kidding. she wants to get holiday pics together and send out xmas cards as a couple. she tries to tell me what to buy with my cash, she tells me who i should/n't have as friends, tells me how to fold the towels, stack the dishwasher, make the bed, and basically makes my life miserable frequently now. she thinks nothing is wrong b/c she is getting what she wants when she wants it. dont get me wrong, when we are together just me and her things are awesome for the most part and we laugh and get along together fine. when it comes to any situation with family, friends, what she wants, etc, i get the shaft all the time. there are many examples i can give but that's the long and short of it.

one particularly "good" example is we were both invited to a party for a mutual friend who is a chick and turning 21. we both made plans on going together to this out of town college campus party but a few days before she tells me the chick wants it to be a girls' night out with dinner and shopping and then the party. i tell her fine they can have dinner and go shopping but i was going to the party too b/c she's my friend. she gets very upset but i tell her im still going. the partycomes up and they have their dinner and shopping and i show up to the party at 12 midnight and she's blitzed to the point where she cant talk or walk straight and talking to abunch of guys (we BOTH had agreed she wasn't going to drink b/c she isnt' responsible when she drinks and she knows it). she completely blows me off as her b/f and she and her friends avoid me. i try to talk to them and be social but it's no use. i ask her why she and everyone are acting that way and she says i should know. she gets in a drunken rage and i tell her im going home and then leave. we talk about it later the next day when she is sober and she doesnt see anything wrong with lying and telling me to stay home or any parts of the way she acted. come to find out on top of that our bday friend told me she wanted me to come and was happy i was there for the party and that she just wanted it to be the girls for dinner and shopping. my g/f had no defense for that other than she thought that the total girls' night "would have been nice."

so in summary:
she wants to be in control and if she isn't, she makes life hell through guilt
we dont have a sex life anymore.
she chooses friends and herself over me in important circumstances and expects me to understand. when i get upset, she gets upset at me for getting upset.
she will not compromise so we each get something we want.
this LTR has done a complete 180 where i feel like she's in charge now and doesnt need to be with me as much as i do with her.

i really like the girl and in all the relationships i've had, i've never had such a good time but she treats me like shit and doesnt respect that there's another person in this relationship. i want to keep her but is there a way i can "train" her? i dont want to have her wrapped around my little finger (hmm, that would be nice) but i want this relationship to at least be fair. any help would be appreciated.

Ouch, Drezdin, I FEEL YOU!

Sounds like the last weeks of my 8½-month relationship. I ditched her.

However, if you want to salvage things (sounds like so), there are a few things you could do. Here goes:

1. Talk. Everything builds upon discommunication. I'm a master of it, haha. You need to TALK to her about THIS ISSUES! Not in an angry, arrogant, cocky way.. but in a constructive way. If she gets upset, stay calm, and tell her how you feel. Use rethorical trix, to either keep the pressure on you.. or her. In my opinion, you should tell her how you feel, and say that "When you do X, I feel Y", and ask her why she does that, WHEN SHE KNOWS that you feel Y. Just presuppose that she knows. Sure, she could explode and tell you to fuck off for not liking everythign she does.. but then, bro, you just have to ditch her.

2. Training. Put her on the command train. Ask her for a favour, a small one, then give reward. Ask her another favour, reward, etc. And so on. Train her to comply. Punish her when she tries to control you in ways that you do not approve of. It's important that you don't act like a bitch when she wants you to do things her way, just tell her calmly to explain why she wants you to do it a certan way.

3.DHV. Demonstrating value is gold in relationships... atleast for me. Go to facebook, register, add some "Hor Or Not" Application. Now, click "YES" on everyone, even if they're ugly. Sooner or later, they will click yes on you. "Wow, I got random girls whom are attracted to me! YES!". If you can walk away, to another girl, she will treat you better. SPAM she's not thinking "Ahh, he could leave me!"

4. Uh, what more. Yeah, stop being needy. Stop being her pet. I don't know if this is the case, but perhaps it's easy for her to run over ya'.

You should get this sex-thing back on track bro! Physical contact is gold.

Hope I was to some good =)

_________________
Style: Who do you think lies more...
DeAngelo: What's up fool?
AFC: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

She's 19

No sex

Controlling

One, two, three strikes. Breakup with her, find a girl to create a jealousy plot. I guarantee if she cares about you, she will come crawling back to you. And when you break up with her, make sure you make it clear WHY, so that when she comes running back, she can begin to fix her bad habits. It just seems like an immaturity thing... demonstrate you're the alpha male... don't put up with that shit... like he said above me, she's probably not think "AH HE COULD LEAVE ME!" You need to plant that seed, and paint the picture in her mind, that if she treats you like shit, there's girls waiting in line for you!!