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So basically, you want a quick fix? If that exists, if there is a Royal Road to self-satisfaction, it's way out of your price range. A lot of life sucks and a lot more is just killing time where you wait for something good that might never come. The only reason you're behind the curve is because you don't have hope that good thing is coming. Find that, you'll be alright. In the mean time you could try doing something nice for less fortunate people if you're just going to be selfish and not do shit with your time anyway. You can at least be a tool for other people's happiness if you can't be motivated to get your own.
Yes, that's it asshole. I am just a tool and have never spent time volunteering or giving and helping other people. I have had severe brain swelling and lots of head trauma. Read an article or pay attention to the new on all the discussion on concussions in Football. It fucks with your brain functioning, which is essentially your soul. Manifesting itself in a variety of very disturbing ways, being told I was schizophrenic, and having an IQ drop as well as impaired reaction time. It's also a cause of why a high percentage of our US troops dealing with this end up killing themselves.
I didn't post on here for empathy, I don't want that because I have had it and gets you nowhere, it's a waste of time. Hence, I don't cry anymore and ask why me. I just accept my situation and try to find the formula that will 'fix' me. I try a lot to help myself, I believe I posted some examples of such. But, if you want to berate someone who is already down, go waste your time and take out your low self esteem and frustrations somewhere else. Because I definitely don't need that right now. Thanks for the advice...