There's a few points in your script which, in my opinion, don't work and/or potentially undermine your attempt to pace and lead by inadvertently directing her towards less conducive emotional states. Also, never underestimate the importance of delivery; look at non-verbal inflections as well as how you're using your voice tone and body language to reinforce the underlying message.
If you don't mind, I'll deconstruct your script a little and see if there's anything I can suggest:
Quote:
I get the sense about you, that at times, you can feel conflicted about what you want to do and what you actually end up doing.
The emboldened line comes across, to me at least, like an embedded command to feel conflicted rather than invoking curiosity or giving the impression that you "really know her". Again, this depends on the way you say it but, in the context of your opening sentence, it doesn't seem to 'fit'.
Perhaps changing to something like: "I get the feeling that you're someone who follows their heart...you can have it all worked out in your head and then, without even thinking about it, you notice that feeling deep inside and just let yourself go with whatever feels good right now...". This is more emotionally loaded and you can orientate her in time by pacing her, then leading her to pay attention to "right now"; there's also the opportunity to anchor that feeling you've invoked in her, maybe just touching the back of her hand or her arm.
Quote:
I mean, on the one hand, there are rules in place to make us act a certain way, and you play the game most of the time…but other times, you like to just …throw caution to the wind… and do whatever it is you feel like doing.
I quite like this section actually, but you could maybe try to make it a bit more efficient and powerful through adding a few non-verbal flourishes or hand gestures, e.g. use the left hand to illustrate your comment about how she's behaved in the past but then use the right hand to indicate what's possible at any point in the future - have the right hand symbolically "weighed in favour" by having it positioned lower than your left hand as if it carries more weight, etc.
In the emboldened line, something I'd suggest is incorporating more on giving permission and the idea of free will, e.g. "...but sometimes you find you can just...throw caution to the wind, let yourself go...let yourself do what feels good...realizing that you have free will to choose and go with your heart" - Again, use subtle gestures, non-verbal nods and suchlike to reinforce the salient points or emphasize what you want her to feel.
Quote:
And a person can feel so free, so wonderfully liberated, to just…let loose…and give in to your innermost desires every once in a while.
Depending on the person you're interacting with, I find that using phrases like "let go", "releasing", and "surrendering to..." can be used with less incongruity that "let loose"; unless you use that phrase as part of your natural speech, and given that you're still fairly new to these techniques, you may come off less genuine than if you use words which are natural to you.
These are just a few suggestions, not any sort of final word or expert opinion; be pragmatic, do what works for you and go with that. I hope some of this was useful, good luck with everything.
CHAT