This aint no Inception

Hey right im trying to train my housemate to be a better person overall in life and with girls. He needs help but hes stubborn, he doesnt want to change.

To describe him he basically Alan harper off two and a half men.

He fails in every way possible

he hasnt had sex in two years and he wont change, he believes he is fine the way he is and his beliefs are the right beliefs and that eventually in the future a girl will settle for him.

He brags about having a threesum but when you learn more about him and his alleged threesum you soon learn that this threesum was with another guy. And it wasnt even a threesum. To elaborate his best mate shagged his ex girlfriend and then he went in after him and wealsed his way in there and had a go himself.

I could go on with more embarassing stories but id rather help the guy out.

I want to get him to come to terms that he has to change, the way hes running his life is damaging for himself and that people are repelled by his attitude to life.I just want him to listen and take on board with what I have to say so I believe the best way to do ths is to try and install the belief that "He has to change","he should listen to me more" " the way hes running his life is damaging and negatively percieved"

I know basic Nlp patterns but if their is anyone who might know where I could go and find a pattern to incoperate these ideas or to actually tell me how to do it that would be awesome

Get off your high horse and let him make his own decisions. All you can do is give [occasional] advice, and let him learn implicitly, by setting an example of the quality of life that's possible. He may not be living "well", but you can't decide what living "well" is for him.

Best thing you can do if you want him to grow/learn is to take him with you through experiences that will naturally change him: Boxing or Krav Maga, dancing, holiday abroad, festival, acting class, comedy class, etc... All these things naturally have a huge impact on our life in general, and in our comfort of doing new things. All can also relate back to meeting and attracting women.

Don't tell him where he needs to go, just give him the experiences to allow him to find out for himself where he wants to go.

I had a feeling this post would be taken this way :\

Its hard for me to explain how this guy acts.

I live in a house with 10 other students including him. Theres been points were we've had interventions for him because of the way he acts and what our friends say about him. We will offer him advice and he will be stuborn towards it and disagree even if the other 10 members of the house that he lives in agrees on how to act in a certain manner. He needs a change but he wont listen.

As I've said, I'm not saying that he doesn't act improper, it's just not up to you to tell him how, or what way, to act that is proper. I've recommended ways for you to help him figure it out for himself.

11 people in a house? Last time I lived with 2 of my mates it was a nightmare, of course with 10 people you're gonna have problems. If it's really an issue then you should just tell him matter of factly, and only attack his behaviors, not who he is. After this, I'd recommend doing something active that you'll all enjoy and bond over.

Failing this, I'd just exclude him from activities that you feel he'll be a nuisance - Give him the reality that you're not going to be disrespectful to him, but you're not going to be disrespected.