| Hi, this should be in the relationship thread, but it won't let me create one as I'm new. I've had a look around and the site and am amazed that there is this sort of platform out there on the internet. Good work.
Here's my story:
I met this girl at work about 8 months ago and we instantly hit it off. She was the one who initiated it and we bagan chatting on the phone. She had just left her first boyfriend of about three years and started seeing me as friends. It became quite clear to me that I should stay away from her, as she was one of those girls who loves to lead guys on, just a real complicated personality, you know? But I still really liked her for her sweet and kind side and she is gorgeous. She was giving me loads of attention and flirting so I thought why not.
We eventually kissed and ended up in bed. I tried it on, but she said no, she is very inexperienced and had only been with him. I was cool with this and so was she. So we continued just hanging out. The same thing happened the next night and again a few weeks later. Over the next few months we started kissing each other and chatting on the phone a lot. She would always call me at night and in the mornings. It then turned out that a really good friend to both of us found out about us and went nuts, so we agreed to cool it off. I tried to speak to him about it, but he wouldn't listen to me. He would never have a chance with her, but I just wanted to say that I liked her and tried to sort it out and we did. We eventually worked it out. Then she had a few issues with her boyfriend, so I lost interest and we completely cooled off. However, it then started again and about a week later she called me up at 4am asking me to come over. Her parents were in which surprised me, as she is very close to her family and she said we couldn't do anything, so we just chatted and cuddled all night. (Lame, I know, but I did try and almost succeeded that time...)
Then my birthday came and she told me she had got me something really special that only we would understand, but couldn't give it to me at work, because we're both quite career orientated and we wouldn't want people talking about us especially if it ended up badly. I said fine I will get it some other time. I stayed round a friend's in the area and called her in the morning saying I will come and get it. She said okay. Then she went out without telling me. She didn't text me back, so I thought oh well I'll just go out and have fun. I went to a party and started chatting to some girls, who were digging me. Then she turned up really late and started ignoring me. She then went into a room with a guy I know who has a girlfriend saying they were going to sleep. I was a bit drunk so I tried to speak to her and find out why she was being so awkward with me because she seemed in a good mood with everyone but me, but then she just exploded saying that she had never liked me and I am a psycho etc. Then my friend who I previously mentioned found out about us again and nearly kicked my arse about it. It was really confusing and scary. I don't know why he has such a big problem with the idea of us, I get that he loves her and their really close, but he has known me three times as long and could never get a girl this good looking. So I just gave up and thought this is too weird and complicated and I want out.
A couple of weeks went by and I decided that I would be a fool to let this one go, so I send her some flowers this week. After being away from her for so long I have realised that I really love her. Turns out she had deleted me off of her phone and Facebook. We got into a massive argument, I'm not sure how or why, but I tried to apologis if I had got actually got things wrong about us, but as this guy is one of my best friends and so was she I thought I should try and make peace with them as we were all really close once. It didn't work and my friend still won't speak to me!
Then someone just asked me causally at the office if I knew anything about an attack or rape that occured with her. He hardly knows her and has no idea that we have ever been romantically connect. I didn't, but it clicked stragiht away as to why she has always been a little bit unstable and why she is the way she is. I didn't know how to react, I punched a wall out of disgust and flipped out in private. I then sent her a really long and sweet text about how I am really worried and really care for her and I am sorry if I ever came on too strong because I had no idea. I thought I had handled it well. I was just really worried about her and wanted us to be friends thinking she would want to know that I now knew about it. But this caused her to reply in the most completely professional way possible, it was like an e-mail to Bill Gates, like we had never met before. I tried to call her a few times, but she kept hanging up, confirming that it is true.
It is really bad, because we work in the same office and the HR manager knows about the drama and is begging us to make ammends and the friend who clearly loves her too works here too.
Finally, I drove to her house last night to see if we could talk and try and work this out for the good of our office and our friendship group. She said she was gonna call the police!
Have I really fucked up here? I've tried to be as normal and understanding as possible. I have tried so hard to be the bigger man and make it alright between us. Throughout the history of our courtship I have played it really cool. She has said she liked me loada of times and she has given me loads of attention. Was I wrong to ask her about the attack? Is she just protecting the friend who really likes her? Or is she really not interested? I am at rock bottom here and would appreciate some insight. I really care for her and it was starting to seem like we are meant to be together and were on the verge of getting together officially before my birthday. Now I don't know what to do. I'm just gonna lay low and hope she talks to me for now.
Thank you for reading.
Thanks in advance for any advice.
Tom
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I always tell the truth, even when I lie.
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CHAT
