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I'm new to the forums but I have been reading them like a fiend for the whole of the day. I'm looking forward to following a lot of the advice the members have presented me. For that I thank them.
I am 22 from Lafayette Louisiana. I attend college there and I have a girlfriend of four years attending college in Baton Rouge. (about 45 minutes away) Here is my dilemma...
We started dating when she was 15, I was 18, and continued throughout her high school career. She went to college about a year ago and we had normal little scraps that couples generally suffer from. But, recently, she brought something up a little out of the ordinary. She asked to take a break, in a way, because we are still in the relationship. As she stated it, "I have never had the chance to be single or to be truly myself. I've invested to much of myself in you. If you expect me to marry you or want to be able to trust me in the future you need to let me do something. I need to be single for a while, but, I am not ready to give you up yet. I just don't know what I want to do."
I honestly did not know how to take this and said, "If you feel that you need to do this then lets do it but I don't want to give you up either so maybe we can make some rules about the breakup?" She agreed. This may have been a bad idea but we decided to set a date that we would get back together and we gave each other complete freedom otherwise to do whatever we want. This didn't last. I continued to call her and she me. So I asked that we just make it an "open" relationship.
She is at a party right now. She will probably fuck someone tonight. I'm pretty distraught by the thought of someone else fucking her. She's VERY attractive and I gained about 35 pounds since I cam to college....I'm not nearly as attractive. I don't doubt she will find someone to fuck. It seemed a good idea at first but now I am thinking it very much so wasn't.
I need to know how can I keep her from falling for someone else she meets. I still love the girl and as far as I know she still loves me. Am I fooling myself? I know that a lot of the time girls start to fall for their fuck-buddies; at least I think so. I really don't want to lose her.
One reason I said yes to this situation was because I thought it would be nice to be able to do my own thing for once and maybe fuck other people for once. I have little experience with girls outside of her. I feel like my situation could be a good one or a very bad one but I will need the help of the community. I won't be able to do this alone.
Another thing is what should I do about her at this party? Should I call her in the morning to find out whats happened? Am I aloud to show how upset I am about it?
I'm sorry for typing this novel but I would really appreciate some help.
About the Open Relationship. You made the bed, now lay in it. If you really couldn't handle her sleeping with other dudes, then you shouldn't have told her she can sleep with other dudes. Simple as that, really.
The only thing you can do is GET YOUR EXPERIENCE DOWN with other women. Has to be done. She's not going to come back to you if she thinks you can't get other women - and there is a small chance that she will get jealous if she sees, or suspects, that you're hooking up with other women. That small chance may open the door but fuck it, if you literally ARE hooking up with other women, who cares anyway? Just let it go. Do your thing man. You sound very needy by the tone of this post.
CHAT