Ok im going to sum this up best I can.

I dated loved lived with a women with a child (age 8 now) for 5 years.

I moved out of her place about a year ago because she is very "independent and dosn't want a relationship right now, since She wants to spend time with her daughter while she still can" A respectable decision but I feel if I didint lead her down a path of unhappiness I would have never lost them both.

The past year we "dated" as friends.. still had sex but no commitment. I sorta pushed for a relationship and she would push away. About January we stopped seeing each other for a month, lost all contact with each other. I contacted her and was able to see her. When I went to kiss her it was resistance and we later that night talked and she just wanted to be "friends". We went to dinner that night and she held my hand for a short time... She feels like she is a mind fuck to me because I want to be in a relationship and she dosnt...and having sex only makes that part harder on both of us. UNFORTUNATELY i acted like a pussy and it was a intense crying type of thing.

I ended up texting her saying im ok with just being friends as long as that means Im not out of her and her daughters life completely. She is sorta flakey as far as meeting up and I can never make anything official.. its always "hey im in the area" type of shit, and she says "yah come by tomorrow" then "oh were going out to bbq see you around"

I really want this women more then anything. I know a lot of you say move on forget it...but I got a strong love for her I'd do anything.

How in the world do I get back into her life to where she wants to see me more? And possibly get back to the sex status?


Please help guys

She almost never calls now, and rarely will initiate me a text. In fact she does most stuff through facebook to me. It feels pretty shitty having the past that we did, and now we are at this state. Where do I go from here?

FYI I'm 26 shes 35

This sounds like my previous relationship apart fromt he fact that mine didnt involve a daughter, just somebody who said that she wasnt ready for a realtionship,

It started off as friends and she stated she would never want more, but me being me wouldnt take this for an answer and pushed for it, eventually we got together and ended up living together for 2 years, but every day i was reminded that she didnt want it and that she wanted "just friends" but she would continue with her games and let my mind be fucked.

Eventually the sex stopped, then the kisses, then the hugs, the last 2 months she slept in the spare room.

You feel like you want her back now, but ask yourself this question, do you want to resort to the constant strain of the mind games, or are you going to remember the memories and move on. it sounds like a massive step but once your over the step its a lot easier...trust me.

what im trying to say in the nicest possible way is shes playing the game, keeping you there. Show her that your not going to hang around with her, start playing the game.

and if that gets you no where with her at least it might get you somewere else with another girl, one girl can turn into multiple girls just follow the rules.

you will then realise when you have found the one you were looking for.


dont know if i have been any help as im just as new to all this as you are but i thought id share my similar experience.

peace out
AvecMoi

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the world IS your oyster

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond man.


Ima be honest, yes this women is worth waiting for. My thing is I gotta keep it paced and simple until she wants me in that way ya know?

So at this point we haven't really been talking to much, she will text me good morning or "how to fix the t.v./computer" type of thing. I try to stick to just that aspect and dont go to far off bounds.


Should I tell her I think it was good we took this break? Or do I just stay distant and have her come to me?...

As a community we could teach you what to do, step by step in order to get her back... but it would end again just as it did this time. Improve yourself, give it time, and come back to her in 6 months a better man. Take it from experience: it's shit for the first two months, then you get past the hurt, you improve yourself, and you either a) get over her.... or b) get her back.

Sort your inner game out, talk to people, improve your lifestyle, and become valuable to her once more.

Ciao
xx

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Let's get smashed and fuck all night!!

YOU HAVE TO STAY DISTANT!

the mind of a female can not be altered, they will DO whatever they want, no matter what you say. If by some mircale she does what you say, you will end up in the situation of the above poster... she will play games and shit will really go downhill.

the more you talk to her by YOUR initiation, the more she will be pushed back. There is literally nothing you can do TO her that will make her want a relationship with you.

This is your best bet... improve yourself! get in better shape, make more money, be more alpha, MEET OTHER GIRLS, even if you dont want too! if she likes you AT ALL, she will keep contacting you or at least in the future contact you... and too be honest, it will only be because it boosts her ego, knowing she has you by the balls.

now, when she contacts you in the future and notices you have your shit together, and when she also notices that EVERY time she contacts you, you dont burden her and just have a good time and encourage her to do the same, she will gradually start wanting you more, and more and more. If you freeze her out for awhile and she doesnt contact you, there was never a chance. BUT, and you can ask anyone here, being needy or contacting her at all trying to get into a relationship, will only push her farther away

+1

Freeze-out

Guys, it's great to get her back into a relationship, but unless he makes a holistic improvement to his character, the relationship will go stale once more.

Look long term guys!

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Let's get smashed and fuck all night!!

I totally agree with what has been said above, the last thing you want is her thinking she is dominant over you (unless your into that )
you dont want her ruling your life if becomes a painful game,

so take in the advice that you require, you know the outcome best, but try to move on trust me its the easiest option otherwise your relationship will just end up in games.

Peace out

AvecMoi

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the world IS your oyster

thanks guys.

So i guess for now ill just be distant and if she contacts me so be it..

Friday she text me that "good morning happy friday" at 750am and I text back at 430 "been so busy happy friday".. I actually got a text back after that saying how tired or whatever she was. We text back n forth bout 4 times, then on her last text to me I did not respond.

I got so much I want to say, but I think you guys are right on giving her distance, and letting her contact me. I was going nuts last night, so I called up a girl and took her out. She was cute n all and I kissed her...but damn I kept wishing it was my ex.


so i'm guessing the only way is to wait for her to make contact with me? I'm worried she might think I'll fall in love with her again so she wont get to close you know? So should I tell her that her decision was good and I agree with her? Or just forget it and show her through space?

thanks again for your guys responses

Don't talk about the brake up! If she asks just say "Can we forget the past and start all over! Infact I dare you to forget the past and lets pretend we just met!
Hi! My name is Icup!"

haha! I actually like that one. Thanks man.


I guess I only have one question leftt for now,

Do i respond to her texts? Ignore them? or give a lot of time between them?

(real good community of good guys here, and I couldn't thank you guys enough on your insight.. This is very trying on myself.)

How you are handling them at the moment is fine. Keep them short and friendly, but not dickishly short i.e: 'lol'...'k'.....'yh'

Stay platonic, DHV- text her back when she texts you- just not right away. Try to leave a day or two between text convos.

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Let's get smashed and fuck all night!!

How you are handling them at the moment is fine. Keep them short and friendly, but not dickishly short i.e: 'lol'...'k'.....'yh'

Stay platonic, DHV- text her back when she texts you- just not right away. Try to leave a day or two between text convos.


Still a week or two total freeze out would be quite good: text her 'yh im busy over the next week or two, might not have time to text.'

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Let's get smashed and fuck all night!!

Don't quite know what went on there. Ignore the first post.

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Let's get smashed and fuck all night!!

you said she contacts you through facebook?

so can i suggest you go out and have lots of fun (take lots of pics of the fun), have some pics of girls (prettier then her if you can manage it) sitting on your lap of giving you attention and pics of you with your mates genuinely having a great time. she'll see them and it will be DHV but also make her realise you are moving on (even if you arent really).

be aloof, if she texts you or messages you take a few hours if not a day or two to respond. change your fb status to '' *club name* tonight!'' or an interseting sounding private joke for your mates.

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