And um bask in my magnifisence?

Seriously though hi all I am 34 and live in the New England area in USA and I have had a very long dry spell over 12 years without a girlfriend.

I had a very terrible 5 to 6 years one-itis that nearly destroyed me until I came to my senses and it took me a long time to get over anxiety if she was around but I realized it was stupid...things got kind of creepy (from her side) and it affected the way I behaved socially to the point that I kind of became a hermit in my mid to late twenties.

Anyways I tried and tried to get back into talking to girls but I formulated a plan to search miles away from where I lived as I did not want to date a local girl and find out she was friends with... well anyways I eventually and degradingly started down to the self help books section and found a book about dating that told you to "lower your standards because you were never going to meet them"

Needless to say, aside from seeing many of my aging friends going down this easy path and telling me to do the same I went and did and felt terrible dating girls/women that were far below the standards I held.

I also had a growing problem specially since 9/11 where my appearance made it even more difficult to talk to white women as they either assumed or believed I had to be some other race than my ethnic/racial background really is.

I did condition myself though to have less fear among girls of beauty and to rid myself of ignorant mentality of angelic purity but I still had problems securing any progress as well as other issues that were cockblocking me like backstabbing friends, family, and girlfriends of those girls I tried speaking to.

Finally I had seen the VH1 show and thought it was pure and utter bullshit lie, set up, pre-programed canned crap but I had a doubt in my mind and eventually stumbled into the book the Game by Style, then mystery's book and finally tried this forum.

so far I am able to sometimes open with out a problem and sometimes have a girl open me, the last girl that opened me was this asian girl that I had about a 25 to 30 minute conversation with in an asian food market during daytime (1pm) that I could go into detail about but ended with her not wanting to make eye contact at the end as I shook her hand, I am guessing it was because I did not progress to getting her number or making a move to somewhere else but it was amicable so I know or at least believe I did not creep her out as we had plenty to talk about but I guess I did not change the topic enough.

Anyways I am re-reading the books again so that I can become more familiar with the knowledge.

I have issues about my appearance and fear of getting flaky real phone numbers as it already happened 3 times, and I even had a time, years ago where me and a friend approached these girls that were walking using my car (something I do not do) only to be called a exact year later by one of the girls and get as far as getting kissed on the cheek while hanging out, though there were other circumstances that led to fail.

Finally thats pretty much what I have to say and I am wondering if I found the right forum for me to get help in solving some of my problems, thanks.

So I'm going to touch on a few of the points you made.
That's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard. THAT was a self-help book? You wasted your money.
Um, so are you saying that most women you talked to believed you were a criminal because of your race? Not sure if I really believe that unless you had an incriminating look about you. If not, then I'd have to say the women in your region have the problem. Not you. Not all (honestly very few) women are at all like that.
Friends, especially best (guy) friends, will cockblock. They'll criticize and insult you in front of others because, well, that's just what guys do, especially if they KNOW you very well. My advice, have a new set of friends, people you don't know too well, but well enough to get along with, and head out to socialize with them. Keep your close friends and family separate from this world, unless they're in on it, for true success.
Couple of things - if you're really upset about your personal appearance, take action. Anything short of surgery (which is a waste of money in my opinion). Join a gym, gain some muscle, lose some fat, whatever you need to do. If you've got a skin condition, see a doctor and get that handled. Clean- shaved is almost a MUST, unless you can pull off the "rugged" look. Basically, do the things that will help you feel better about yourself on the outside. This will work wonders for your Inner Game. Joining the gym, itself, is a huge boost to self-confidence after only 2 months of dedication. Once you start seeing the results, you'll be motivated to keep going.

As for flaky phone numbers - I've never tried this but I figured a good way to check is to just immediately call the girl's cell right after she gives it to you, as in a playful way. If it lights up/rings, then smile and say jokingly "Hey it works!". Otherwise if she gave you the wrong number, you know she's a bitch and suddenly she looks like a horrible person. Again, I have yet to field test this.

Finally, something important to know, you can't ask a girl for her number until an attraction has been built. I won't go into all that here. But basically, you are only allowed to hit on a girl, and request her number, once the attraction is there. Otherwise she's likely to just blow you off with a fake one.

Cheers man. I hope you work through those problems. Just believe in yourself. And honestly, if the people from your past are causing you only grief, just leave them in the past, and find new friends. There are lots of people in the world.

Q.