Hi Guys,

Firstly I absolutely love this forum. I think it's so great to have somewhere to go to get advice and learn good game from others. So thanks to the guys who set this forum up.

I live in London, UK and I am learning a lot from the London scene. In a nutshell, my story goes like this:

Before mid December 2006, I never realised there was a community dedicated to learning the art of pick-up. I had gone through most of my school and uni days utterly ignorant of the fact that not only were there calculated PUAs out there, but also that these were skills that can actually be acquired by anyone, regardless of looks, fame or fortune. I had also gone through most of my twenties (I’m 28 right now) without ever having a girlfriend - sure I had certain issues I had to contend with, but pleeeeease! I guess I was what the community referred to as an AFC, an Average Frustrated Chump. Don’t get me wrong though, although I find myself breaking out of this mold, it’s only been a couple of months so far since I’ve started practising what I’ve been reading about in books and online.

After reading "The Game" I got incredibly motivated to start this journey of self improvement and improve not just my game, but myself in general. I looked into the Mystery Method and have been following that since. So far, I have improved a lot. But I still have those sticking points, I still get overwhelmed with anxiety before an approach and most of all my mid-game needs a lot of work, which is understandable since I've never really had a proper relationship with anybody before.

Sure, I have met girls here and there, but what I've realised and what I really need to work on, is this innate "fear" or anxiety I have of women. This feeling comes when I meet a girl and we start to get close, for some reason I get scared, my heart beats faster and I generally end up pushing her away. Any tips on this? I'm really trying to improve and so far I'm glad to say I am seeing results. In fact, this whole subculture is very addictive and I find that I get really motivated when I hang out with like minded people, or when explaining what the PUA community actually is, to others.

One final word, I am so into this, that I set up a blog with my friend, Xaipe. The tag line is "breaking the mold of the AFC" and it's just that. It's about our journeys, field reports, lessons learnt, etc. It documents how we are transforming ourselves and the effect this is having on our lives. Hopefully the road from AFC to PUA is a smooth one, but we are having our ups and downs.

Please come and visit the site and most of all interact with us, it's just a blog and anyone can participate without registering.

You can find it at http://www.seduction-game.com

See you guys on the boards and on the blog!

Angelus[X]

Hi,

The fear you speak of is totally natural. Mystery explains it pretty well - 50,000 years ago we lived in groups of 50-150, at a time when if you chatted to the wrong girl (who belonged to the alpha male of the group), you'd be killed, literally. You can read more into it in his ebook, or a bunch of DVDs from DYD have brief descriptions.

So how to deal with it? You can't. There's no quick fix. Just as you feel pain when someone punches you, you feel fear when approaching a woman. This was to help us survive at some point, so it's not an evil thing, just it's outdated. Boxers can take a lot of punches and feel less pain though, from repeatedly being hit whilst practising and the same is true for approach anxiety.

So get out there in the field and open 10 sets in 1 night. Do this for several nights a week and you'll become a lot better at it. The ideal thing is to do this for several nights a week for a whole year. It's also important to know that there's noone who doesn't feel this fear. All of the top PUA feel fear when approaching, a lot of them don't enjoy it, they hate the approach - so get used to it whilst evolution catches up ;]

Hi AngelusX, pleased to meet you! I am also a fellow British AFC who is starting on the road towards being a PUA. I can really relate to a lot of the points that you outline in your post. In particular, you discuss:
I can really empathise with you regarding this problem and I would be really interested in hearing others suggestions for solving it.

If you want to chat about anything related to being an AFC trying to transform into a PUA, then just drop me a PM.

Hi Vanity, yes this is different from regular approach anxiety which, as VitalEyes rightly points out, happens to us all no matter how good we are in the game. The thing is, I don't know if this stems from my being inexperienced with women in terms of relationships, or from something deeper down.

I remember one time, I was with a girl and she was pretty drunk and it was at a house party. We were in the kitchen, just the two of us and I felt the vibe really heat up, at that point, I honestly just got scared, I mean, I was just short of trembling. Now, this does not happen every time, but when it does I'm not sure why and the thing is, women can sense this. Even in her drunken state she wondered why I was "on edge".

Now I have a theory. Looking back, I think this only happens with girls I am not really attracted to, girls whom I don't really care about one way or the other. Since I feel that there is such a big "difference" between them and me, and people can generally afraid of something different, then this could be what fuels my discomfort.

Feel free to PM me also, or to visit my blog.

Angelus