Hey,

I'm a little too close to this and thought that you guys could help me out, here goes.

I dumped my girlfriend of 8 months about a month ago because things weren't doing it for me. I liked her (and still do) but it wasn't right for me. I felt guilty about it, and a little confused and decided to get back on the horse to straighten my head.

I started hanging out with this other chick and it was a little too soon, she knew the ex and even though she liked me, it got a little complicated. We had a weird weekend where we kissed but she said it was too soon about 2 weeks ago and I was in an upset haze for a while. In a nutshell, I have one itis. The cure for this is apparently going out and hooking up with other girls. So thats what I did.

I went out with two different chicks last week and slept with one of them. Both of them were cool good looking girls but I still couldn't get the other one out of my head. I'd see the other girl around but things were definitely a little awkward between us even though I knew she still liked me. Finally I stopped by and told her she owed me a cup of coffee (long story) we went out and it was like the bad weekend never happened. She invited me to come out with her and some friends to a strip club last night. We went out and had a good time and didn't get home until about 6 am when everyone crashed out at one guys house.

The night out I talked with the girl alot about all kinds of stuff and she bought me some lap dances and I convinced her to get one as well. We had kino, flirting, etc but I couldn't bring myself to make a solid move! I thought that I'd give her a ride home alone later but we ended up crashing in a room with 3 other people and slept side by side on a couch but nothing happened. I am leaving tomorrow for the summer and will be in and out of town, so before I left this morning I told her that the reason I went out was because I wanted to spend my last night with her. She was like "Awwww, thats sweet. Give me a call next time your coming back into town." I gave her a hug and left. I feel like such an AFC. I can't get this girl out of my head and I feel totally upset and frustrated about it.

I need some advice on how to handle this situation. I've got a bizarre logic loop in my head. On the one hand no forward movement is driving nuts. On the other hand I'm afraid that if I make a move the same thing that happened last time will occur and the awkwardness after we kissed 3 weeks ago was even worse then the frustration now. I either need to get over this completely or sleep with her. I'd like to do the latter, advice on how to go about doing this given the history/baggage?

In the event that you have a girl your obsessing over who you're never going to get that is one thing but to try to overcome an emotional connection you share with a woman by getting more pussy DOESN'T WORK NOW OR EVER! GETTING SEX WILL NOT FILL AN EMOTIONAL VOID!

You may want to re-read The Game and re-assess the emotionally unstable pick-up artists who advise countering one-itis with more sarging. Most of them were rediculously egocentric and none of them (except Strauss) had any real emotional control whatsoever; even Struass couldn't get wood trying to substitute emotional intimacy for sex.

- Chris

Not a bad idea, thanks Chris.