Hey all,

intro
I'm a 21y/o student, junior in college. I watched the VH1 show last summer, then read The Game and TMM, then read a bunch of forums and checked out lots of youtube vids-- I found it all hugely interesting, although I was in an LTR at the time.

My history with women was LTRs through my freshman year of college, at which point I switched exclusively to ONSes/f-buddies, then sophomore year I went back to doing LTRs. Up until about a month ago, I was in an LTR, but when it ended, I realized it came at a great time-- I had just turned 21 and now I could finally put all this studying to work.

In analyzing my history, I did best where I had social proof-- the ONSes either knew a friend of mine, or knew me through a club I'm in, where my proof was already maxed out. Well, here I am now, going into my last year of college, and I realize I've already hooked up with all those girls, and I haven't bothered to make friends outside this one circle.

I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, so I'm trying a few different things-- I've been throwing parties in my apartment and getting a few friends to invite their friends-- doing this twice has already worked well in expanding my social circle.

Right now I still have AA trouble in situations with strangers-- probably left over from this one time I did like 4 C&B's the first night I got my fake ID and went to a bar alone. I also need to work on sustaining conversation-- I'm going to take an improv class this summer to work on that (and to meet girls, duh). I've also been writing down my life-story so that I can draw original material from it, since a lot of the canned stuff will get blown out around here.

end intro, begin question/specific background info

So I posted a personal online the other day, and got a few responses. One was from a girl at my school who sounded cool, so I told her to add me on fb, which she did. I applied what I learned by setting up a casual date via fb messages (I told her that I had to go check out a show that my friend was in, and asked if she wanted to tag along.)

The date went well, but I still have lots more to learn and practice-- it was a play, so we only chatted for like 10 minutes before, 10 minutes during intermission, and 20 minutes when I walked her home. During that time, I told some good DHV stories, and I also introduced her to a bunch of friends of mine who were there (including an ex-GF-- that felt so fucking good!).

In terms of areas for improvement: I didn't kino escalate. I greeted her with a two-hand handshake, which was good, but I should have followed up-- while we were watching the play, she was giving off IOIs which I should have picked up on. Also, at the end of the night, we sat and chatted for awhile outside of her building about this class we're both in-- we stayed on that thread just a bit too long, and she ended up leaving first-- I should have sensed it sooner and ended the date first.

The next day, she sent me a facebook message saying she had a good time and that she appreciated how funny and interesting I was-- I was just about to send one first, but I'm glad I had the willpower to wait.

I waited a day and sent her a reply where I thanked her for her "detailed compliment" and told her it had made my day (compliment), that I had fun too, and that if I ever finished this project I was working on that "we should hang out again soon."

I sent that on Saturday morning and I was the last person to make contact. I'm thinking that since I didn't set up anything specific in the message, I don't necessarily need to wait for her to contact me.

My question is: we've only really been communicating via facebook messages-- her aim and # are on her profile-- are those fair game, or does a 'random' im seem weird? I did text her right before the date to tell her I was a few mins behind, so I guess I can always use that, but I prefer im over txts.

Also, when I contact her, should it only be to set up a day 2, or should I chat a bit more?


That was kind of a long post-- I'm glad to have found an active forum, and I'd love to get your feedback, criticism, advice, etc.

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punano49