WELL



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 Post subject: WELL
PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 2:59 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 12:52 am
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I'm not new but I should be. I just don't get this. I've been working on my game for over 6 months and if anything, I feel like I've gone BACKWARDS! When I try techniques I learn or cocky funny I either get blown off or in some cases actually told what a loser I am by the girls! I'm not the ugliest guy on earth either so I don't get this at all???

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 3:53 am 
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 2:18 pm
Posts: 914
Location: Belfast, N. Ireland
Maybe you're using techniques which don't suit your personality... everything has to be congruent with who you are. Maybe you should try and have a normal conversation with some girls instad of using canned openers and routines... maybe you're over analysing things and it's throwing you off. I mean, if you're thinking about the outcome of what you're saying or the reaction it's gonna get while you're saying it then your personality just doesn't get a chance to shine through. Chill out and go talk to girls for the sake of talking to them, don't aim for a number close or an instant date. Walk before you can run.

I've seen guys run routines and it sounds like they're reading it off a sheet of paper... they aren't being themselves. The reason why the best PUAs are so good is because they've all reached a point where they no longer care about the outcome of any approach they make. They are comfortable and confident in themselves, and it shines through. Have you ever just been talking to somebody with no intention other than passing the time, and ended up getting a really good friendship out of it? I know I have. You just need to have some normal conversations with girls first and get comfortable being around them. Make small talk about the weather, how busy it is outside today, how weird something you just noticed is... whatever it is, as long as it gets her talking I guarantee she'll start asking questions about what you're doing that day or where you're from or whatever. It's only polite conversation and they do all the damn work for you! You don't even need routines... If I do use routines I leave them for later on after I've made a connection so don't make this your goal.

The reason a lot of guys make weird or awkward approaches is because they're trying to concentate on their routine, their body language, her body language, her IOIs, which routine to transition into... lots and lots of shit all at once, it's an overload of the senses and you can see quite clearly that they're running through about 10 different things at once. If that's what you're doing, stop it! Let's try an experiment.

Do you notice how you're breathing right now? You weren't 2 seconds ago but because I mentioned it you're noticing the rhythm and how it feels. And now, the amount you're blinking. Funny, isn't it? The way you're breathing and blinking feel different now that you're paying attention to them... perhaps you're taking deeper or more controlled breaths, blinking harder or for a little longer. What I'm getting at here is that you don't need to be paying attention to something in order for it to be working naturally. You were still alive before I mentioned your oxygen intake, likewise your body language is going to be normal without you having to pay attention to it. Basically what I'm saying is, in the beginning don't set any big goals. Just have a normal conversation for the sake of passing time. You will be comfortable, or at least you'll become that way very quickly once you see how nicely she reacts to you - your body language will reflect this, and your next approach will be comfortable right fom the offset. Work your way up from here.

Shoot me some questions if you're not sure about anything, we're all here to help each other out.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 6:54 am 
Try listening to some Tony Robbins (personal power 2 and influence) and read some nlp books or nlp master practitioner training audio tapes. I am an AFC too and I have been in the game for 8 months but that helps me lol.


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