Hi everyone, mid 40s socially awkward single guy(with the look of someone 30-ish and physique of a 20+ thanks to my fitness regime), trying to date women who are not a single mother or a divorcee.

My problem is I don't know how to talk to anyone outside my social circle, and also the dreaded notion of approaching someone many years younger and appearing like a creep.

Don't like clubs or bars; I don't even like to drink alcohol. Don't smoke either.

I can easily strike up conversations but not good at turning that into anything more. And the few I manage to hold a conversation with either see me as a good friend or lose interest.

And that's why I'm here to learn the game.

Welcome to the forum, Hank. Hopefully we can help you iron out your issues.
Are you trying in person and online as well? Where are you doing your approaching? Is it day or night? Your fear of coming off as a creep is all in your head. Women are generally flattered when you speak to them or smile at them... Even if they reject you. Everyone likes being hit on.

A LOT of girls go for slightly older guys too (my girlfriend is 26. I'm 36). Don't be afraid to risk being seen as creepy, man... You'll never see these people again anyway - so put yourself out there.
You may not be escalating while you're talking. You need to identify yourself as a sexual option and make your intentions clear (without actually making your intentions clear... I know it's confusing). Don't say you like her. Show her you like her. Touch the small of her back, or her arm, or her leg (not in a creepy way) and use kino wherever you can... Smile. Eye fuck. At the end of the conversation, instead of saying goodbye, you say "Hey you seem like a pretty cool girl. Let me get your number" and hold out your phone.

Good luck, Hank.

Spot on advice from Charles as usual - do what he is saying to do OP.

OP if you look young as you say you do, that's even more reason to not feel that you're creeping on the girls.

Try not to be nervous when you "approach" them; just embark on a regular casual conversation. Remember, you're not tryna get anything from her, you're just shooting the shit to begin with.

Thanks for the welcome
More online than in person, as, like I mentioned, I don't know how to approach those outside my social circle(which is pretty small to begin with), and I have to be careful who I approach within my social circle because I fear that if I mess it up with one, the rest will find out and avoid me.
While it's true from my limited experience that some girls do like older guys, most will see an advance from a guy more than 10 years older than them as being creepy. And because I live in a rather small town, once a guy is labelled as a creep, words gets around. So I really need to be cautious.
Yeah I suck at making physical contact, especially since I'm in an Asian country and physical contact between the opposite sex is not common, even amongst friends. I really need to learn how to do this in a way which won't raise red flags for her all over the place.

Thanks for the tips. Easier said than done for me but hey that's why I'm here to learn.

You go up to the girl and comment on something that is going on in the immediate vicinity. She replies. You reply. You banter with her about that for a short while. Through this you are feeling things out between the two of you to see if there's chemistry. Subcommunicate that your intent is not to be her bff. Then you ask her her name or tell her she seems cool or something and ask a bit about her. Then tell her a bit about you. Then you have to run because you are busy but "hey we should hang out sometime" and get her # for later. Can all be easily done in under 5 minutes with the girl waiting for your text to meet up (not all will meet up, but enough will so long as they are interested and the two of you hit it off in the initial meet and you have provided her with solid info about yourself so you're not just some dude).

Get used to talking and shooting the breeze with all people - the nice old lady - open the door for her and make a comment; the farmer; etc.

welcome to the meetup, as you can tell there is a lot of great advice here

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Thanks

One thing I struggle with is revealing my age. Most of the time they never ask because it never occur to them to ask.

But sometimes they do, especially after we've talked a bit.

They'll go, "You seem a lot more experienced and mature for someone in his 30s. How old ARE you?"

Or it may go something like this:
She: "How old are you?"
Me: "How old do you think I am?"
She: "Mid to late 30s?"
Me: "Then that's how old I am."
We both laugh.

Sometimes it ends there, but sometimes they press on for my my real age.

What should I do? Come clean, or continue letting it be a mystery?

a friend of mine that goes to the pua meetup group i run is 49 years old and he consistently fucks women my age (I am 23)

so age is not the issue... its actually a shit test. dont answer the question but instead just break rapport or ignore it then change the subject

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I agree w/ Andy.

Dude the primary reason they are asking your age is because you are hung up on your age. When you stop giving a fuck about that and realize you are two humans they will stop asking about your age. You are giving off insecure vibes to them because you feel like a creeper around them. Just stop that. DO YOU THINK THE SENIOR CITIZEN MEMBERS OF SOME ANCIENT ROCK BAND FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THEIR AGE WHEN A BUNCH OF EARLY 20s GIRLS COME BACK STAGE WANTING TO HAVE A LIL FUN? So just forget this notion of your age and see if the girls don't forget it as well.

Might be a bit different here as I'm an Asian guy in an Asian country.

But I do agree I should ignore it and change subject.

Ok, noted. Will strive to get over my hangup.

Another hangup I have is my glasses.

I am long-sighted, and I can't see anything near without my glasses. And there's no contact lens for long-sightedness.

So I end up not doing anything that will require me to read anything. Sometimes a girl would show me something on her phone which would force me to take out my glasses to see what it is, and it shows my age.

Anyway to turn this around?

Either say "my eyes are fucked up" IF and that's a big if they show you something to read. Or find a trendy pair of glasses you can wear at all times. Your ego and your brain are trying to protect you from pain hence the "glasses" and "age" bits. You already have everything you need to charm the pants off of women and you need to know this. Don't listen to closed-minded people who are failures. You can do this my friend.

your excuses are one thing after another - age is just a unit of measurement and has nothing to do with picking up women and neither does your race or if you wear glasses

you have inner game issues, that is why you are getting these shit tests and you are fooling yourself out of success!

i believe in you and you should believe in yourself too - learn to have more self confidence and stop using excuses on why you can attract women because all of it is bullshit

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