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 Post subject: Back into the game
PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2015 3:51 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2015 12:51 pm
Posts: 1
Hello all

I am 37 and getting myself back into the game. I loved it when I was single and now its time to dust myself down and start again, however I am very out of practice.

My biggest problem is I get hot and flustered when asking for contact details and I’d really like to overcome this. Everything else, opening, building rapport, teasing I’m fine with and if I do get a girl out I am normally confident on a date. I have asked women for their details but only when I've known 100% she wants to see me again, but its been a case of me tracking them down and sending an email/facebook message. All very cringeworthy but sometimes works. Anyway, getting details is one area i'd really like to improve. To act as if it doesn't matter (it doesn't but i still get the shakes). Any tips gladly welcome.


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 Post subject: Re: Back into the game
PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2015 7:55 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:17 pm
Posts: 429
Location: USA
Hey there! Welcome to the forum :)
Quote:
Anyway, getting details is one area i'd really like to improve
One thing I've been doing lately is been using nlp to get phone numbers, facebook, etc. from a girl.
NLP - put simply - is a means of persuasion. I would first clarify three things that are true, followed by what I would like to happen. For example:

"Hey so we both are pretty cool (#1), we both like cars (#2), and we both like completely hate the movie frozen (#3), Let me get your number so I can see you again? :)"

People have a better likely hood of saying yes to something after having agreed to saying yes to a few other things first. I think this will help you with your confidence in closing.
Quote:
Anyway, getting details is one area i'd really like to improve. To act as if it doesn't matter (it doesn't but i still get the shakes).
The best thing I can say to this is don't care. You have to see pick up as a numbers game in order not to beat yourself up. People will like you, many people will, and they will give you their number. But then again, other people won't give you their number, and this could be for a HUGE amount of reasons: It wasn't their day today, they've had a bad day and they just wanted to be alone, they are seriously into tall or short guys, they might really be a lesbian, maybe they just genuinely didn't see a connection. But whatever the reason, you just can't let it affect you. You just have to carry on and brush it off your shoulder as best as you can. You don't want to change yourself for someone anyways (wear shoes that give you lift because a girl is into tall guys). You just want to be you and see if there is a connection and if that other person can accept the real you. If they can't, why would you want to be with them anyways? I hope this helps!

_________________
---Red's Journal
Motivation Mindset="If I can do it, it can be done"
No Fap Mindset="If I fap, I will turn into a god damn retard"


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