Hi there I am a 21 year old young man from Yorkshire, England and I am a DJ/Music Producer and I seem to have problems interacting with the ladies. As some of you may think as a DJ that I "get all the girls" which is an overrated statement!

I guess it all started last year when I lost all confidence when I lost my job and then I was fortunate enough to be offered a summer job in Spain as a DJ and a lot of people said to me it'll boost your confidence straight up, getting away from the people you know, meeting the new people and to be honest yes they was right I felt a lot more meeting new people. The place I went to is full of holiday makers, reps, shot girls, basically beautiful girls, the whole party life and the 3 months over there i managed to sleep with no one due to my lack of confidence, not feeling attractive enough, skinnier then most guys (as you can imagine there was a lot of good looking guys with good bodies), I managed to kiss the odd girl or so but was never confident enough to make it that extra step.

Once returning back home to the UK I felt more confident with myself but now over 3 months have passed and I feel like I have nothing to say to girls who I don't even know, most of this occurs online when trying to speak to new girls like on facebook, it may sound lame but some people seem to think its easier speaking to them but I have no idea what to say to them, I approach them with the basic conversations at times "Hi", You ok?" blah blah but it doesn't seem to be enough and the more i get rejected the more my confidence goes down

Sorry about the huge essay but can anyone help me?

Thank you

Hey man,

Welcome to the forums.

If you ask me your problem is the fact you're doing all your approaches online and you're using it as a substitute for going out and approaching women in real life... You're scared of rejection.

You don't know when to escalate. Or how to escalate. That's why you didn't get any further than a kiss during your 3-month stint as a DJ --- as a result, you're not getting the experience you need talking to women, interacting with them, flirting with them, etc, as a result.

We have all been there.

It's called approach anxiety. You're worried about what to say, or that you're going to get rejected, so it kicks your confidence, and so you don't bother...

It's obviously easier online - you don't know these people... rejection doesn't hurt as bad, and it's easier to approach - thing is, eventually you have to meet them anyway, if you ever want to date them - and then how are going going to behave once that happens? What are you going to talk about? You're only getting as far as the initial pleasantries and hellos so far.

Get out there. Search for 'approach anxiety' on this forum and check out some threads on how to overcome it... Start here: overcoming-approach-anxiety-vt1672.html

If you're going to use online game, use it to supplement your in-person game. The experience you'll gain from doing in-person sarging is priceless. You learn very quickly what works and what doesn't... and you can adapt on the fly (read her reactions and body language). Go with a friend, or a group of friends - it's DHV and makes it easier.

Lots of smart guys here. Questions, just ask.

Hey, Welcome to the community. You should find everything you need here.

Develop a natural framework then fill it in with stuff you find on here. There are many posts on natural game in the Natural game section.

Here is a basic framework:

Approach/open(light kino optional) - have her invest/qualify herself to you (light kino) - build comfort/rapport (mid kino) - Close (number, instant date)

Then go on here and look over advice on texting and pick what you find the most fun to test out. Employ your texting game (or phone conversation game if you want to do that) and set up the date ASAP

Look for advice on dates (pick the thing you like best)

Look for advice on how to get a kiss

Look for advice on how to get a woman isolated in a place you can have sex.

Look for advice on how to prevent and overcome LMR

Look for advice on how to manage having an abundance of women in your life/managing a one woman relationship.

Answers to each piece of that puzzle can be found here for free.

A more advanced but still basic framework

pre approach - Approach/open(light kino optional) - have her invest/qualify herself to you (light kino) - build comfort/rapport (mid kino) - Close (number, instant date)

I suggest after you develop your own personal system (which can include nlp/hypnosis if you want) that you practice practice practice, then look for better skills to fill each section.

If you choose to do this can you do me a favor? I want to see what you create. PM me your completed framework (i don't care how long the PM is tell the whole story). I'll look over it and clean it up and streamline it for you.

_________________
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and demonstrate to all of us what’s really possible. I learn what those few
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