Hello Everyone,

>where you're located
Live in SoCal Near Hermosa Beach Area

>your age
28

>how you got into "the game"
I have been dating the same woman since i was 18 and was maried last year. currently she is filing for divorce. I want to try and reconcile my marriage but have realized that I no longer know how to attract or seduce my wife. she is currently involved with a new romance while we continue through the divorce process. I am interetsed in healing and building my self esteem and confidence in knowing that i can approach any woman and have a high probability i cab attract her.

>how long you've been studying and practicing pickup
I just picked up my first books and have began reading the first. the books im reading are "The pick up game" and "The A Game" by Logan Edwards

>which pickup method(s) you like to use
???
>what your hobbies/passions are
I like to be outdoors and play competitive sports.
>what your goals are
my goal is to successfully apply the techniques to my relationship with my wife / soon to be ex-wife...

So you want her back?

How did you fuck it up?

I used to think I wanted to get back with my ex, now I'd rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse!!!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I do want her back. I know i dont needher back as i am learning to content with myself. I admit soon after the initial blow of her telling me she was going to file for divorce, i did the usual mistakes one does when faced with rejection.

I fucked it up by: taking her for granted and focusing on myself to much. The last 4 years of our lives have been very stressed and as a result we argued. 4 years ago, i asked her to marry me after dating for 5 years. we had a two year engagement and married on March 2013. when we got married we were not financially ready to live on our own since i had lost my job and was working on growing a small business. our arguments were very passionate at times and finally I broke on Dec. 28 stating i wanted a divorce and pretended to do so online in front of her. (I wanted to get a reaction out of her because she had been unresponsive to multiple attempts to discuss our issues.) we attempted two counseling sessions. 1 in January of this year and 1 more in Feb. i felt like we were making improvements as i was implementing the things she wanted me to do. however, after our second meeting and before our scheduled 3rd meeting she decided that she didn't want to do the work in reconciling. i acted like a little bitch for the last 4 - 5 months with multiple attempts to win her back with no strategy or insight. mainly responding to my emotions. Its hard summarize all that led us to where we are.

I'm venturing to guess otherwise is true. Did you forge ahead with your business, and/or hobbies?
You would think this would be a good strategy, but it's horribly wrong. You handed control over to HER!

How have you been trying to "win her back"?

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Most of our communication has been through text. she has been very icy and 3 weeks ago we went on a hike where i basically poured my heart out and she basically ignored all of that and promised she would be proceeding with the divorce. Fast forward - 2 weeks of no contact she sends me a text on Mon. July, 14 @ 7:45 am saying : I have been praying a lot.
Thinking about you.
How are you?

i didn't respond for 5 days and finally broke the no contact with a lunch time text:

Me: I'm doing Good. I'm out with my co-workers and i saw a dog like ours? How is she? i sure miss her?

we got into a conversation about our dog. (her dog after the divorce)

I brought the conversation to a close by saying:
Me: I know its been a while, but i started thinking about you today and it put a smile on my face. your're a really wonderful person. Hope your doing really well = -)

Her: i appreciate that. you are great too and i hope you are doing well as well.

Me: Yep, all good. I'm going into a movie but its good to 'hear' your voice. later.

we haven't communicated since.. not really sure how to play this except go no contact again. until she initiates? How do i attract her back?

Well, that didn't work.....it never does, it just feeds her need to make you feel like shit, instill that everything is your fault, not hers. Look how much better this worked. It got her thinking about you.

You have to not be afraid to take a loss to get your point across. If you look like you’re shaking like a shitting dog, sweating and you’re blinking and you’re nervous about her leaving, she will take full advantage of that.

Stop trying to make her happy. You have to say, ‘Look princess, this is how it is.’

You have to be able to say NO!

You have to be ready for her to walk out of your life.

One thing she needs from you is emotions. If you don't, her emotions have to feed on themselves. Let her emotions eat her soul up, then she’ll think of another option because she’s not walking out of your life unless you’re completely hurt. She likely won’t leave unless you are completely crushed.
Start seeing other women.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I agree. I'm now at the place where i realize i have to feel confident and have higher self esteem if i ever want to attract her back. I am OK with letting her go because i am aware of my value and worth more than i did and if she doesn't get it than someone else will. at this point she still has some of her furniture and belongings at my house and I'm considering texting her something like.. "hey i've been processing all that has been going on and i agree that our breakup/ divorce is probably the right solution. I've put all of your belongings in a safe corner in my garage and they are waiting for you when you are ready to pick them up ( or set a time frame for her to pick up her things?)

additionally, i know she has been involved with a co-worker but when i have asked her about it she lies. i no she is lying but she denies it despite admitting she doesn't love me and want to move on. if she doesn't care and would love to hurt me why not just come out and tell me she is involved? Does catching her in a lie..like coming out of the guys house ever snap them out of there games? part of me wants closure because if she is having sex with the guy it would make it easier for me to walk away.. I have met the guy before at a Christmas party and he is a geeky, shy type. I contemplating calling him out? any suggestions?

If you start off from the mental place that you are an amazing guy, and that you don’t need a partner (or anyone else for that matter) to validate you, then you are on the right track. The woman you become attracted to becomes important for you, but not necessarily 'everything'. You don’t depend on her to make you feel important, or like a man, or even loved, because those things are already part of you. Therefore as a man you would still be capable of rational thought, and capable too of knowing that your relationship MAY come to an end, but you know that wouldn't be the end of the world, because you are a slick enough person to find someone else worthy of your affection.
Why be so helpful? Fuck her. If you want to put her crap in the garage for your benefit, fine do that. Don't text her shit, if she wants it she's got your number.
Let me help you with closure. YES SHE IS FUCKING HIM.

Now use your separation Hall Pass, and go fuck some bitches...
And ENJOY IT.
No! She'll just rationalize it to you, likely making it your fault. And why waste the time, to much effort, what are you going to do stalk her? And if you do catch her, your just going to be all butt hurt anyway.

You have to become stone cold impossible to read.

She should be wondering if she will ever see you again. She should be wondering how much you like her. She should be wondering if you’re seeing other girls.

Let her wonder.

You need to get a life of your own and not depend on her for emotional stability, once you can validate your own life you won’t need her validation. Therefore you will naturally act as an attractive male as you should be.

And the cool thing....as she sits wondering what your up to, she's thinking ABOUT you.

The more she thinks about you.......

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.