Hello everyone,

this is reas0n - in need of some help.
If someone asked me, what my goal in terms of playing the game was, i'd answer: Finding the right woman for life. I would then think my answer over again and probably say: Becoming a couple with the right woman for life.

I've had one girlfriend for 2 years at the age of 16-18. We split 6 years ago, I'm a single since. From that experience and everything that followed (which never lead to a relationship again) I can tell what my major problem seems to be: Become active when things are getting serious.
Talking to my ex-girlfriend on the topic, she keeps telling me that she already impatiently waited for me to kiss her when we met (finally she did). I'm afraid I'm running this error over and over again.

Under normal circumstances I would stay relaxed as usually, look at the topic and get rid of the problem. Life is cruel though. I've found the girl that fits me right - she does more than any other woman I've met. Now comes the worst part: She is taken. This made me go through hard times for almost a year now and made me stumble on Neil Strauss' book.

I've noticed that the onitis is being treated as a disease in the community. I still wonder if someone has a different opinion on this topic or might help me, talking about the laws of attraction. I'm not sure if this is the right spot to tell my story - I will though and shift it to another board if I was wrong.
I can literally feel your first reaction "bad idea, man. leave it.". It's not that easy though if one knows the details.

The girl I'm talking about moved to my town 2 years ago attending the same university as me. Her boyfriend lives in her hometown, means they are leading a long distance relationship. Relationship seems to take about 5 years already. Back home they're living together in a flat. While in the first year she visited home almost every week she reduced going back to once in one or two months by now. Her boyfriend visited her 3 times in 2 years.
She keeps telling she's happy to stay away from home and not do the driving. Her plans for the future are for sure not to go back live in her home country.
Our contact is and was very intense. While having a flirty attitude she crosses some borders - seems only with me. We were holding hands, playing footsie, writing little messages and so on. When she decided to be more distant after summer break I was forced to reveal my feelings to her. I knew this wouldn't make me win the game, I just couldn't last anymore. Answer was predictable: Everything just meant as an act of friendship, she loves her boyfriend etc etc.

Things have changed since. After a period of coldness our contact got more and more intense. We got closer physically. We massage each other listening to music. We would go to sauna together. We stroke each others backs and arms gently. She lets me bite her neck and kiss her shoulders. A week ago she would let me stroke the inner side of her thigh (If the series wasn't over at that moment and her mother wouldn't have called her I swear I would have kiss-closed her!). She seems to enjoy everything we do and yet it looks like fear pulls her back and lets her leave the situation (standing up, turning to the computer etc.)
Attraction and romantic tension you feel between people seems to be there lots of times. It disappears a bit from time to time though. I know I mustn't wait to long. How do I make her forget about her fears? Can I lern to intensify the attraction?

Thanks to all of you, that you take time to read this post.
reas0n