Hi all,
I have no problem opening, illiciting value, creating attraction, creating comfort, getting a number close and if I'm cheeky enough, a kiss close.....then the real problem starts. My texting game is abysmal. I just don't get it.
I have no sense of timing. I have no sense of exactly what I'm meant to say. I get so anxious over it. I'll text a girl and if she doesn't reply within a few hours I start getting agitated and its such a struggle to avoid texting back just to make 'sure' she got the first text. I'm always thinking that there are some magic text messages that I should be sending...the kind that will make a second date a sureshot.
Sometimes when the texting with me and a girl is going well I get comfortable texting back and forth. I read somewhere that you should text and quit when the going is good, but I keep texting because I'm enjoying the rapport until she quits...then I'm left firing texts out into the cold....and I feel the rapport and value that I created slipping away. Its as if she suddenly controls the dynamic and I go from 'intriguing' her to pestering her.
Having the ability to control the dynamic doesn't come naturally to me. I haven't been able to text and then back off for a few days and then resume texting again...its like I just give too much too soon...until she is no longer mystified or intrigued by me any more.
Sometimes I get so worked up about a girl losing interest in me that I might send a neg text out of the blue just so that I can end it and delete the number....BIG MISTAKE!!! There's got to be a better way to handle my insecurities.
Anyway, once again I have another lovely chic that I'm texting. It was going well, we even went on a second date. She had the sexiest legs I've seen this year, believe me they led all the way to heaven. I really liked her view on things and her commitment to her choosen profession. I just knew we would click. The date went well....she was so lovely to be with!!!! I thought I was well in there, we agreed to meet again and began texting. And guess what? I can feel her interest slipping away??!!
Ok, she is approaching the end of her uni year and so she is very busy, but I can't get her to agree to another date. And lately I’m sensing that she’s using the uni thing as a way to distance herself from me. I'm always initiating the conversation, and it feels like I trying hard to get her attention. I know she is near the end of her uni year and I should back off coolly, but I am ridiculously weak when it come to that kind of tact. She's in my head now. This part of my game is so crap.
A mate of mine told me to go and shag another woman, do something to distance my thoughts and feelings for this chic. But actually every other woman seems boring and ordinary compared to her. However I can feel myself going through the usual anxiety, wandering if theres the magic text message out there that I can send...getting confused and frustrated...I really don't want to blow this early relationship..so finally I went and had sex with another woman. Yes I was able to distance myself for her. I'm not so bent up about whether she replies or not. And quite frankly if she doesn't I'll easily move onto to the next number. Some to the star-dust has gone, she's not that amazing and unique, or maybe she is, but I don't care as much. And yet I feel abit sad about this. Maybe I'm a foolish naive romantic who believed in meeting that amazing person and starting an incredible relationship with someone you can really communicate with. That shit only happens in fairytales.
Maybe, the way to get by is to view every woman with a cool dispassionate attitude. This doesn’t come naturally to me. I am a passionate man seeking a passionate woman. But I’m so fed up of having all of these potential partners slip through my fingers because I always overdo it in the early stages. Is there anybody out there who understands what I’m going through, and who can please give me some advice??
P.S. Its getting close to 48 hours and we haven’t communicated. I’m so crap at this so I don’t know whether this is the norm of if it means we’re not meant to be. I’m not going to initiate conversation again. Infact I’ll go out this weekend to sarge. I still would like see her again, but my feelings just aren’t as intense. I’m an caring, passionate romantic, but because of all this heartache I have to evolve into a cool calculating, shrewd PUA. It all seems abit shallow. I can't bring myself to see women as chess pieces.

Hello,

I believe you'll receive good advises to this problem. But so far - my point of view.

It seems like you get too much into a girl that you like and you reveal it to her. So, whenever we know that a person has already fallen for us - it removes half of interest and excitement. And texting constantly shows it. Try to imagine a girl, who constantly requires your attention and writes you all the time - would you be interested in her as much? Maybe it's worth to sometimes create the tension by waiting and giving her time to wonder if she has already won you. Or maybe even let her sometimes write first. (I don't know, maybe you do).
48 hours isn't much. But I'm not sure if you have already broke her attraction. Go to sarge, but also - learn to wait. Don't idealize girls, because just as it happens to you now - you loose interest too fast when something isn't working. We are all humans and yes, we don't live in fairy tales, but it doesn't mean that you can not have feelings. Just some rules exist for relationships as it does for driving a car.
Learn to deal with your emotions.

(That's my opinion. Someone may correct me if I am wrong).