Hello Guys!

(English is not my original language. Based on my experience, on forums in English guys who don't very good in the language get way less replies and advices then the folks with better English. I hope you will give me some nice advices despite the language barriers. Later I hope that I will be able to give something back to the community!)

Let me introduce myself! I'm 21 year old male, I'm working as a professional online poker player. As you can imagine if you play poker online 6/7days, 9 hours avg/day, you can easily isolate yourself from others and most your communication will be via SPAM or some instant messanger stuff and after some point you will find yourself alone.

I won't describe myself like 'hmmm my appearance is x on a 10 scale' because I think even the ugliest guys would probably give themselves way more points than they actually look. So what can I say? I am not an ugly guy (based on my oppinion and views of other guys and girls), I'm not super handsome but I try to make myself better and better.I go to the barber shop every 2 weeks, I buy clothes from good brands, I work out several times a week(I have shoulder injury now, so I have to do PT for 2 months), I use cosmetics to treat my face, good colognes etc etc. So I guess I make things that others do who wants to squeeze the best of their appearance.

Thats not seems too bad so far, right?

So my girl related history:
That's not much unfortunately. I have some girlfriend in the past, the last one I broke up 7 months ago. What is very unfortunate, that I only have had sex with hookers since the breakup (in my life hookers: about 20prostitute; 16 in the last 7 months<----> normal girls 7-8 in my entire life. This is a number I am very ashamed of.). NO MORE HOOKERS! Basically I had girlfriend/sex when the woman pushed herself very hard,I mean I didn't do any effort to bang them or to have a relationship with them.Maybe I could tell them anything/do basically anything and got the same results. But I can tell you most of them were really mental, man and I say that in a manner that I DON'T hate women in general.

Today I went to a place where I saw a very beautiful woman, and we talked a little bit(just because it was her work). I knew her from the past, she is very smart and she has those beautiful big hazel eyes, oh my God! After this plot I jumped into my car and I realized:
-I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO A GIRL NATURALLY! Every joke/story I said was unnatural and not even funny or interesting.
-I fucked hookers in the last 7 months, and I didn't even try to find an 'ordinary' girl. I picked the easier and worse choice!
-I can find 1000+1 reasons not to talk with girls or show them any sort of interest to the point I'm sure they like me. In the vast majority of the time it is too late.
-I never had any friend who is a girl, so I have basically minus social proof in that manner.
-I am very antisocial in general.
-I hate parties but when I go I had to drink but then I'm very angry and aggressive sometimes. This is 90% when I drink, unfortunately. But without it I feel myself like crap there.(hope to change this too!)
---->conclusion: My entire life was a failure so far in regards with women. I think if I like to have a girlfriend in the top category(like the one I met today) I need to be good at picking up girls, so I have to practice a lot (the picking up part and the closing parts too, how to get women friends, and in the end of the way how to behave in a relationship in order to maintain a healthy relationship.) I think I need this to be really happy.

I have some sort of inferiority complex when it comes to social situations and I'm a mild stutterer. Not that bad though but it gives me definetly some minus points. I can manage it to a point but it frustrates me anyway.

I read 3 PUA books in my entire life, watched some video but thats all.

I will have a very long road since I need to get better in general social situations too. But that is essential to be happy, and I must work hard since I wish to be happier than I was in the past. It will be the number 2 priority the first is my job.

I believe I can be better than I was!


I appreciate any comments guys, so feel free to write.


Cheers!

Wow you seem to have a lot going on in your head.

Just take it one step at a time. Talk to a random chick and slowly progress from there.

Welcome!