Hey guys, here's the fill in on me:

20 yo virgin in the fullest sense of the word
I have a natural sense of witty humor that I cant unleash because I always feel tense/anxious around girls or even when I small talk with someone new
BUT (and here where I get weird) I am very good when it comes to presenting myself in front of an audience. I have won numerous speech/bullshitting competitions, as well as the drama award (Im not artsy, but Im good at writing and acting out funny scripts).
I naturally seem to draw girls in but I don't do anything. The result is I feel like a vagina. Hasn't bothered me until now but now I decided to change

Now here's a story I want clarification on, its super long and that was me axing out a LOT of the details. That being said my friends found it really ****ed so I think its worth a read.

Part 1 : The rejection
There was this girl that kept on giving me prolonged looks at the library for a longgg time. In fact one day she sat near me and literally looked at me every time I got out of my desk. so I decided to talk to her. At that point I figured even with my anxiety she would still probably give me her number.
I told her I thought shes pretty (mistake) and that I wanted to talk to her for a long time (MISTAKE!). Even with that as my opener, while talking everything seemed good, she was very attentive, gave me non-stop eye contact, hair playing etc. She seemed super at ease but I have to say though, I came off unconfident and shy.
When I asked for her number, she gave told me some story of how she had bad experiences when she gave out her number as some guys harassed her. Instead she offered me her email, so I took it (mistake). I asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee or a bite later. She kept giving me excuses like “I just bought a coffee, I don’t eat out, etc”
Anyway I assumed it was a rejection and that she was just trying to not hurt my feelings but I e-mailed her anyway. Nothing flashy just like a sentence asking her how she is and if she wants to get a coffee later in the week.
No reply.
I thought it was a rejection, so I ignored her when I saw her again in the library (I found it awkward).

Part 2: My turn
After completely shutting her out for a few days, one day she decides to sit right in front of me in the library. She tells me she got my email but didn’t say anything regarding my offer to take her out (in the email). I cut her off saying I had 3 tests in the next 24 hours (which I did) and despite her attempt to keep the convo going, I went back to studying.

Then I switched to another library because I had work to do and I didn’t want her mindfucking me. She saw me at that library, was visibly pissed and disappeared for a long while.
1 month later she comes back all slutted up and kept on sitting in places where it was impossible for me not to see her (like right at the entrance). Regardless, I actively ignored her.

Part 3: Bitch gets her revenge
So a couple of days later, I see some chick on the other side of the library standing and staring directly at me. I realize its e-mail girl.
She was getting asked out by another dude (he’s a player who always wears a beanie hat so lets call him beanie-hat) and her and beanie-hat were exchanging numbers. She looked at me at regular intervals make sure that I was seeing this.
Next day she sits in right front of me and I ignore her. After seeing this, she calls up beanie-hat and now they’re both sitting in front of me and are all over each other (for the entire day). This continues for quite a few days up to the point where beanie hat gets suspicious of me because Im always sitting in front of them lol
Luckily then exams ended so winter break saved me from that

Part 4: The current situation

Her and that guy broke up over the break. I know because I saw him at the library with other chicks but never with her.
She then came back last week slutted up again looking for me and I ignored her. After a few days of this, she came in with another dude. Again shes all over this guy but would keep on looking in my direction to see if I was looking. By the end of the day she would just blatantly stare at me looking pissed.
And that’s where I am today.

After reading this mission of a story, my question is: at the beginning, was she just playing hard to get or did she reject me? And if she rejected me, then why was she so desperate for my attention again? Its not like I was flirting with other chicks in front of her so I didn’t arouse her competitive nature. I was just minding my own business.
Also I want to learn what I could improve on in the future. This chick is actually gorgeous and I do regret not getting with her because I feel like my dick will forever hold this against me. Is there still any chance with this chick, and if so should I still take it? Who was wrong in this situation- her or me?
Thanks

getting the e-mail instead of the phone number wasnt very dominate but at the same time. think about this you asked her for coffee in person she said no, so you e-mail her do you wanna go get coffee and she ignores it

you can play off the e-mail thing as clearly she was still sending indicators even after the fact instead, she took it as you rejecting her because she wouldnt sleep with you

even tho the girl said no you should never ignore them. cause she very well could have introduced you to someone else or later asked for your number instead.

Their is never a clear definitive no from a girl unless she actually says no in a very serious tone. thats why calibration is so useful.

I would come up with a way to sidestep a no to phone number rejection, ie
wow you have a nice iphone can I see it? what kinda games do you have on here, here you phone number list is small ima send myself a message so you have my number now too.

you dont have to use this one, just find a way to get the number without forcing it on her

I thought getting the number was a microcosm of the process, she could still have back out at any time. Is that what girls think? That handing out your number= you will have sex?

And sometimes girls just like the attention. I definitely wasn't down to be her personal ego-boost. Now Im pretty sure she actually was interested.

But now a long time has passed since I last talked to her. If I approach her should I act as if nothing happened? Or do I need an excuse. Its more difficult because its the library...

No, don't act like nothing happened. Instead, act like everything happened and you're all cool with it. All the boyfriends/fuck buddies she waved in your face and everything. If she asks you why you were ignoring her, just say you were busy with tests etc.

As for the handing out number=sex, I don't think that's the case. She sounds kinda slutty and wants attention.

Welcome!

19 y/o here

So you approached this girl in the library and she gave excuses when you went for her number.

Girls have only given me the 'I have a boyfriend' excuse when I go for their number. The excuse she gave you imo is serious bullshxt; you don't harass anyone, how cheeky of her. Hate that she slyly ignored your invite in the email aswell argh

I can relate to when you asked her out for a drink, coffee etc.
I approached a russian 22y/o girl in the street a month ago, got her number (she even suggested 'MAYBE WE CAN MEET UP SOMETIME') BUT...
she gave 3 excuses in a row before I dropped her:
1. I can't I'm going to scotland for 2 weeks and will be back etc
2. sorry I have an exam so not until 6th april etc
3. I have lessons during that time etc

I was persistent for a month but she was actually just wasting my time. I'm not wasting my time on someone that won't give me any of theirs.
I deleted her number. I don't waste time.

This girl that is now looking at you frequently gets a thrill out of having power over you. That is all.
She loves the attention, not you.
She knows she's pretty so she checks who's looking to make sure.
She wants to keep you on the side whenever she wants some attention that's easy for her to get.
Ideally you should ignore her until she does something other than look good, and then ignore her some more but you don't get that much P**** lol


if you do decide to talk to her when you next see her, get to the point. Ask her out for a drink very quick
e.g. (im going for a drink on saturday if you'd care to join me)... dont overanalyse it she's already thinking about hanging out with you. Just bring it up again.

If she gives an excuse, don't say anything just look her in the eye calmly until she looks away.
what you're communicating is: whatever I don't really care anyway

I think when they give excuses all theyre really saying is
'whatever happens I'm not responsible'
..or it might be that they're not comfortable being alone with you yet... whatever

p.s.
asking how are you what you up to via text/email destroys attraction. don't do it. be objective.
talk to her about those things only in person.

approach her in the library yeah everyones watching what you want is bigger than them

these girls arent going to approach us till the day we die lol APPROACH THEM

put her on the spot

if she tries to embarass you just stay calm lol and start talking slowly like shes a little kid

Hey, 2truths1lie,

I have to admit that I never ask for a phone number. I actually kind of demand it in a way.

This is how it might go:

Me:Well, it was good talking to you. Let's do it again. Give me your phone number.
Jenny: 867-5309
Me: Cool. I am texting you so you have mine. Later, Jenny.

The texting is used to embarrass her if she tried to give you a fake number. If she offers an email instead, I know already where that leads. I usually lie and tell her I don't check my email. Basically, I just keep pushing and never take no for an answer if she's foxy enough.

"Every battle is won before it is ever fought." - Sun Tzu

Later.

Looking at your situation, I would say it was a huge shit test. Calibrate after the fact. If she mentions it you can go three ways.

Ignoring the the subject:
Blow it up
Change the topic

IMO, blowing it up is my favorite.
Her: you're old
Me: yeah I'm old, say I'm your daddy

Good luck

Thanks for the advise! If I ever do decide to talk to her again I like the whole 'go at her knowing everything happened and being cool with it', just because that's probably the only condition I will talk to her again. That, and well, if I feel like it lol. I don't really owe her much after all the disrespect she showed me.

It annoys me that with her, I feel like it will always be more of a power struggle than actual fun.

Sidenote: Can anyone give me a clue on how to ask out a hot waitress? I have gotten a few little notes on my receipts with their names and little hearts lol but I don't know how to go from there. Do I take that as a signal to just straight go for their number or do I talk to her for a bit first. A restaurant can be a pretty fast paced environment so I don't know if a legit conversation is the best route. Also, can I do this in front of my friends or do I need to find a way to talk to her 1 on 1 before asking?
thanks again guys