As I tell so many men...one simple rule is that they are only as special as you make them out to be. It seems to the NUMBER ONE problem with guys in general.
Be sure of yourself, have confidence, speak with authority, but with a playful nature....be flirty and don't worry about getting rejected or denied, don't even go in expecting anything and it will go way better. Just enjoy the conversation, have some fun....don't get caught up in some win/loss game. It's not about that, it's about YOU GETTING OUT THERE AND GAMING...
Don't be frozen, don't be stiff.....be relaxed instead, smile, say things that are relevant, learn and study your targets and make conversations about that, be someone they can rely on, someone they think is interesting and mysterious....don't tell all about yourself and rattle on when you don't need to.
Yes you need help and lots of it...you're right. Everyone has downsides to how they run the game, but you need to cover your basis of overall with different techniques.
Know that you are someone interesting, know that you are the one that is better than anyone they can find and that they are lucky to be talking or to be getting to know you, but also be interested in them, let them guide the conversation and as soon as they say certain things you'll know where to take it in future reference so you aren't frozen with fear. Why are you afraid? It's because you think they are better than you....AGAIN being special, people's quality and worth is all in the eye of the beholder, if you don't think yourself special how do you expect for them or her to think you are special?
Just remember be CONFIDENT in everything you do. PM me if you need any and all help with clear information....I really think you could use some help like you said earlier and this is just an overall general of what I think could benefit you....it changes somewhat sometimes depending on the exact situations that you undertake. I'm glad that you are going out there though, so at least that's half the battle, but nobody won a war with just going out to the battlefield and standing there doing nothing.
Hope to hear from you soon! Best wishes 
CHAT