Hi,

just joined after reaching the end of an 8 year monogamous relationship. Yep, 8 years of not even looking at another woman... scratch that, not touching another woman (I said monogamous, not dead). Before that I wouldn't class myself as a PUA but I was hardly an AFC, I was fairly successful with women but it wasn't my whole life. At that time the Lay Guide was THE resource of choice and I recall it's techniques did what it said on the tin within a month of reading and applying them.

Anyhow, 8 years on and I've reached the big 4-0 and making a welcome return to the game if not by choice. On the other hand, I've now got a 4 year daughter in tow, I live in the arse end of nowhere and the majority of my friends either live miles away or are in relationships with no interest in going out on the prowl.

I'm kind of excited by it all again, in the month since my wife and I separated I've actually done OK but I'm nowhere near the top of my game. Maybe I'm delusional or overly optimistic but I'm getting the feeling that being slightly older actually brings a lot of advantages. Confidence comes a lot more naturally, I don't feel the need to "compete" and I feel a lot more "indifferent" in that I don't really care whether I win or lose, the experience is what counts and women definitely seem to take notice of that.

Looking to learn, the last real reading I did was stuff like the Lay Guide, David de Angelo or the Mystery Method and I suspect things have moved on. The other great book I swore by is an oddball one, The Sales Bible by Jeffrey Gitomer, it probably built better relationships faster for me than anything else if you can get past all the hoopla about selling photocopiers and the like. It's all about getting someone else to take what your offering.

I live near Manchester (UK) and it would be good to meet some people in their 30's (or older) to get back into the swing of it with as wings (I look younger than 40 but I suspect I may still look like Fagin if I'm around people in their 20's, not much interest in girls that young either).

Goals... meet women, get laid, maybe meet someone I want to stop meeting other women for. Enjoy life. What's not to like?

It's a nice distraction and a good boost to take it up, learn and feel like you've learned and accomplished something in yourself but do you really think you need to do Pick Up so soon after you've separated? It just seems that after an 8 year relationship and having a daughter you might want to focus on something else like close friends or something else along those lines. Just make sure PUA is really for you right now and it's not simply a lash out because you're freshly single.

Thanks and very sound advice. I know what you're saying and agree totally. I should have said we've been "officially" separated a month, for the last 6 months we've been living separately but in the same house for the sake of getting my daughter settled in school without any additional traumas. In reality it's been over for about 8 months. The last month was really just a transition. I totally agree otherwise but it's been finished for a while with all the appropriate attention to friends and family in that period.