Okay so, new boyfriend, it's been about 7/8 months now and I got the news that he's a pick up artist, not only that but he moderates on a site much like this,
I'm 21 and he's 30 and this is a hard thing to do for me so I'm hoping to find out what I can about it so I can get over it fast
When he told me, we went on a break for a while, this is his first actual relationship and the amount of women that he's had sex with was off putting, to get to the point, the more I read about pick up art, the more I could notice how much he'd used it on me, he wants me to be able to stop him in his tracks, he says that he wants this to work of his own doing

How long have you known him?

Pick Up(PU) is the male form of female magazines telling women how to turn their men on, how to grab a guys attention and how they should be acting around a guy they like to get his interest. It's just about the only form of self-help guys have. The main difference is it's telling guys when to know a woman is into them and how to grab attention from women and turn it into interest and attraction then to act on it... which makes sense given how men are traditionally the pursuers. It's a good thing, it teaches men not to let opportunities pass them by.

PU gives guys realistic views of women, gives them the tools and information on how to interact with them and what they actually find attractive qualities in a man.

There's different kinds of PUA's out there. Some will literally manipulate women into sleeping with them and then use them just for sex but they won't offer a relationship and it will be known that they aren't looking for a relationship that sex is just sex between you and them. Others will have multiple girlfriends and cheat on them all. Most people who are into PU just want to have better success with women and be able to talk to them and build up their confidence, although they generally don't tend to be PUAs.

Here is a valid observation, however... A lot of long time PUAs will ditch it and look for a monogamous relationship, they generally tend to be between the ages of 30-40.

Summed up PU isn't as bad as you think. It's a set of rules in how to interact with women and men. There is manipulation involved but there is in the advice women are given, it's just PU will be more upfront about it and try explain what it is that you're doing and how it works. Fact is everything we do(Both men and women in the game of love) is playing with the strings of emotions which is in turn manipulation.


Honestly, the guy told you he's a PUA and wants a relationship, he's been frank with you so you should give him a chance.

Hi there,
I've known him for about 10 months
I know there is good and bad in the pick up artist community but from what he did, he had sex with a lot of women, with no intention of a relationship,
He doesnt think what he did was bad or wrong, I'm extremely gullible, he told me at first that he did use tactics in the beginning and he can't stop using them now
It's hard to relax now because I don't know if what he says is some type of tactic

He's a lovely guy and I understand that he did this because he was shy
I'm extremely shy myself, I just want him to understand that I already love him for reasons other than his "smoothness", I want him to relax around me

I dont like the idea of the tactics he's been using because it's fake, it's not him and it's not what I want any man to do,
I just want someone to chill and have fun with

You never would have known the guy to begin with if he wasn't a PUA. Count your blessings such a great guy got his shit together and actually said hello instead of sitting in the background and knew how to keep your interest without being a creep.

If he's not been in relationships but he's in one with you I doubt it's a tactic. Also, he's 30... Of course he's slept with a lot of women he would have if he was a normal guy not into PU but probably not as much. Besides, it's just a number.

Talk to him about it some more. There's nothing to really learn from forums as you know fully well there's good and bad in it from a woman's perspective, it's just generally women only see the bad.

Theres a banner adverisement at the top of the screen that says "bang 6 women a week"
It's a real stretch to even see any good side of it apart from gaining confidence,

I'm the one who got in touch with him, without him even saying a word to me

Would you guys tell a girl about this pick up artist stuff if you settle down?

I'm not supposed to advertise or I'll get banned, but fuck it. I wrote this book for two kinds of people. Guys that wondered, "How long will it take?" and women who wondered, "What the hell is pua and what does it mean to date a guy who is into it."

Here's a quote by a girl from my Amazon page (Please don't ban me, just message me and I'll take it down. I'm trying to spread the message here.)

"Tony's story reveals the irony of loving women, but hating them at the same time because his entire self-worth was built on their acceptance or rejection of him. He took me on a continuous roller coaster of highs (the moments of feeling like a rockstar, an unstoppable man) and the inevitable lows. We can all relate to these feelings of self-love and self-hate. This is inevitable if your happiness is dependent on others (in his case, women).

Perhaps the part I enjoyed the most was seeing a man take action, and being proactive about his unhappiness. I found myself applauding him for stepping up and learning all he could to get what he thought he wanted in life. He went all-in. What I find most admirable about pick up artists is their belief that you are not destined to live a certain life-- you are a dynamic being and you change anything about yourself, including your personality. Tony demonstrates just how far some men go in the name of self-improvement. It makes you wonder if there really are any limits to who you can become in this world. He says in the book, "Limiting beliefs are limits you set for yourself."

If you're worried about him cheating, you shouldn't. Just be cool and honest with him about your feelings and if he's cool and honest you two can have a dialogue.

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My Blog and Books http://www.absoluteability.com