So, first things first - here's a little info about myself:

I'm 23, a virgin, has never kissed a girl and obviously never had any action whatsoever. I've been told I'm good-looking, although I can't and don't believe it... The only thing that makes me interesting is ... oh ... nothing. Even I'm bored with myself. I don't go out at all, I'm always self-conscious, hell - I can't even walk to the bathroom at work because I can feel people judging me on the way past.

Recently a very attractive girl started showing IOI's at my work - she's a student, I'm a resident sound engineer - no she's not my student. I used to invigilate her class during exams and she noticed that I couldn't stop looking at her, and recently she's done everything she could to grab my attention even to the point where she was right behind me and told her friend she wants me to approach her. So I did, and even though I FUCKED UP BAAAAD, I still number closed within I'd say about 2 - 3 minutes. If you're interested, I did write out exactly how shit went down, and trust me, it ain't pretty. And here's where the REAL problem started: I had and have no clue what to do next. I've never approached a girl in my life, and today I decided to go greet her after avoiding the fuck out of her for a week, and the best friend (ugly as fuck) clearly didn't like me and shut me down completely - in other words, I'm out. The target (I call her Blondie since she is blond) has probably lost all interest in me after today. She's a shy girl, quiet and doesn't go out much OR so she says. Exactly what I want for now - a girl like her - and she's fucking hot. I only recently started reading the game, watched the Pickup Artist Series, and even though I saw everything work in the field, I still believe that I'm that 1 exception - the one who can never be changed from loser into pickup artist. I had a little more confidence after the number close, but today I lost the little I had and more after the rejection. I honestly can't be changed - so my reason for posting is: What could I have done in that situation to rescue the little chance I was gonna blow anyhow?

Thanks

LSR666

So much of pickup is about confidence.

Confidence in yourself and the fact that you're a catch. Women should *WANT* to be with you.

You do not have this confidence right now.

If you don't even believe in what you're selling, why should anyone else?

You need to work on yourself first. Get happy with your own life and realize you're someone people like and want to be with - THEN - worry about getting a girl.

In the above scenario, if you got her number you passed the first test... You should have texted her shortly after so she had your number and made a joke.... Build some comfort and go from there.

Confidence is something that naturally evades me, and I'm trying to work on it. I get what you're saying and thanks for the tips - Yeah I should've definitely texted her shortly after and instead I waited like a dumbass till the next day ... And things have gone more south from there on to the point where I'm even confused by what I'm doing and saying.

I've got this thing where when I'm around a girl I like or want, I have NO fucking clue what to say or speak about and then I do the standard AFC thing and speak about work or school (she's studying) etc etc. How fucking more boring can you get? Oh and she hardly replied to my texts and I was stupid enough to try and pretend like I'm indifferent but then when you read what I'd sent her it's beyond and excruciatingly horrific!!!

So what do I do now? How do I get happier with myself and how do I get more confident? AND how do I proceed with this girl now - because I'm gonna be seeing her everyday for the rest of the year unless I find a new job and it's gonna be fucking awkward. I was told by different guys to call her and set a date or ask her out - but I can't do that now, I've fucked up too much - she'll reject me instantly. I kind of have a feeling she's gotten a boyfriend in the meantime because I SUCK and she's just waiting for me to ask her out so she can blow me off... I've never felt so shit in my life, this is my worst fuckup so far

LSR 666

the easist but scariest way to build comfort is to force the hardest thing on yourself. should you ever get a girls number again. in the mind set you have at this point in time. force yourself away from texting and call.

what I would suggest you do now. is think of an interaction with a girl or even think about the interaction with that girl

write down what part scared you then take action to learn

you say you had nothing to talk about well try learning to talk about nothing

you said you avoided her for a week. well when you find yourself avoiding someone force yourself to go to them

I know that seems hard but think about this. "You lost the girl anyways" maybe before you get to that point next time you can look at the next girl as an experience and force yourself in the situation knowing that if you dont your gonna loose her anyways.

as qouted in the game (wayne gretsky - "you loose 100% of the shots you dont take)

as for the friend who shut you down the next time you saw the girl. ask yourself something did you talk to this friend or even give emphasis that she was alive like saying hi or hi "name" when you see groups of people talking how often do you see someone left out of the conversation or see the person talking just looking at one person. you will see them darting around to everyone.

conversation is easy its only hard when you dont do it often.

to find what to talk about I would tell you to go out and just talk to people in general practise recognizing them. Find subjects that you are interested in and talk about them with them.

think about this do you have close friends that when you get to seeing them in person at first the convo is kinda like hey whats new nada whats new with you, but maybe 10-20 mins later yall are on some actual talk of some importance like a tv show or etc. well if you really think about this the beggining of your interaction with your close friend was dull yet suddenly you have something to talk about. and they are still your friend.

look at it this way conversations between people are never important. if you run out of something to say call it out. maybe in a funny way "wow this is one amazing moment of silence"

silence happens its how you handle it that matters

im not trying to be mad or something since im new, but you should get the control of yourself and your emotions.

i didnt read the whole thread but i saw that you write really much, so my advice is, be precise, be logical, be rational, be cold, be a man. it sounds dumb until you make profit of being the silent and mysterious guy.

Welcome to the forums!

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Ha ... cul, awesome ... I learnt something very valuable though - since I'd already made a fool of myself I directly asked her out on a date anyway and she rejected me - and instead of feeling depressed or shit about it, I realized her rejection gave me a certain edge - a boost in confidence. Although I obviously still fear rejection, this has helped me realize that it's not that bad, so I think I'm ready to go out and learn how to properly do this game stuff, and so what if I get rejected again ... I now see that as long as you learn from mistakes it's worth whatever the hell happens ... And you can only learn and get better by making certain mistakes and fixing them next time around!

Thanks for the replies and the welcome, and I do prefer straightforward honesty so don't mind what you say - I can only learn to better myself using the critique I get from you and everyone else...

LSR666 out for now!