Hey Everyone,

I'm another guy who's bad with girls and looking to make a change. I recently turned 24 and didn't get with a single girl as a 23 year old. For now I'm just here to introduce myself, but I may have this turned into a log so that I keep myself accountable and have some people to report to.

About myself:

- I consider myself a good looking guy, but for some reason I put in zero effort which makes it pretty hard to be successful. I think my lack of effort is caused by two things: fear of rejection, and being a poor talker. I'm just not good at making small talk and often have nothing to say. I'm not very shy, just quiet. I had a sutter growing up which probably didn't help (its under control now).

- I'm now a full year into my working career and the new lifestyle (being away from university) is making it much more difficult to spend time with girls. I didn't have many girl friends in highschool and none of the ones I went to university with live near me. I really only hang with bros now.

- I had a girlfriend for most of university but we've been broken up now for almost two years and I've only really been with one girl since then.

- At my job I have no one my age to interact with (girls or guys). This is a real negative to my lifestyle. At school I use to work at a sports bar with lots of hot waitresses and it really helped making female acquaintances. I now go days and sometimes weeks without talking to young attractive girls. I've decided to join a gym in hopes of helping this issue (I exercise a fair bit but its been in my garage gym recently).


I've decided to set some goals for this year and hopefully this forum will help me stay accountable.
1) Talk with a minimum of one girl per day, even if its a very short conversation.
2) Have sex with 5 girls before I turn 25.

I haven't really read anything on the subject of being a PUA but I have a good idea of what I need to do. Try.

Any tips or comments are appreciated. I will report back with my progress or lack of progress and please rip me apart if I deserve it.

Hi there! Welcome to the community- First thing is first.

NEVER feel like you should be ripped to pieces- It's this kind of negative mindset which inhibits you to approach strangers in the best manner!

When you approach girls (or anyone in that manner) even the physical act of approaching a stranger and talking to them is a massive step in itself. Too many people never achieve this, so it is genuinely something to feel positive about. All of the guys on this forum have at some point tasted one or all of the events that you have- some peoples experiences may be a little different, but in a nutshell everyone is different and everybody has individual drawbacks.

Seriously, I've mentioned the following to a couple of people- My opener in supermarkets is if you see a girl looking around on shelves for something that she can't find, I say "You look about as lost as I am..." ( I pretend to be looking for something that I can't find too. Except do NOT do this while your on the tampon aisle, it makes you just look strange...)
The girl will almost always giggle and say what she is looking for. I take a few seconds to 'look' for her. It all depends on the aisle your both on really. You could always use the products on the aisle to "create" a funny story that you were in recently. (of course you weren't, all you want to do is make her laugh, and feel more comfortable around you.) Try it- it isn't hard. Just make sure that you sound like to can approach anyone (i.e. The tone of your voice, your body language, etc...) You might find yourself looking at the future Mrs. RedFish, who knows lol!

_________________
If You Want To Pick Up A Girl,

Keep Your Back Straight And Lift With Your Knees.

Thanks for the tips

I was just kidding about the ripping, but I would like to be kept accountable. Growing up as a competitive athlete, I can take verbal abuse pretty well and I do think a lack of effort deserves a comment.

I'm not one to make up stories (I like to think I'm interesting enough) but approaches at the grocery store is a good idea. I'm there a few times each week which should provide good practice time.

I just got back from the gym and realized I'll have to make some changes if I expect to converse with girls there.

1.) I take my lifting very seriously so its hard to get out of the workout mindset
2.) Its rude to start talking to with someone when they are busy or in the middle of a set so I'll have to pick my opportunities.
3.) I feel like id be creepy to walk up to someone and start talking to them in the middle of a crowded gym. This is something I need to get over.

I think a good plan of attack would be "work in" when a girl is using a certain piece of equipment (whether I want to use that equipment or not). That way I can make the introduction and from there on I can say Hi every time I see them. At a gym you see the same people very frequently, especially if you follow a weekly schedule.

The other option is to speak with girls who take their lifting seriously since we have something in common.


So today I didn't really talk to any girls, other than a few "Hi, how's it going" kind of thing with the trainers at the entrance.

What nationality are you?

_________________
If You Want To Pick Up A Girl,

Keep Your Back Straight And Lift With Your Knees.

Caucasian

EDIT: realize you wrote nationality. I'm Canadian.

Ahh ha, in which case you have it easier than I do here. Opening English girls is one of the hardest type of girl to open, period. Unless you look like Ryan Gosling or Channing Tatum or some other lucky bastard then most of them will instantly subject you to being a creep; "ugh, why is this freak talking to me when I'm at the gym!"

Myself, I go to the gym, do my workout, not bother talking to anyone, get out. Bang, done. Personally I'm not one to ever want to go to the gym with a gf. It creates so much hassle, but for guys like you, I suggest looking up ways in which you could maybe incorporate certain weights or machines into your opener, or possibly the best way is to include a cocky funny theme. Maybe things such as; "Hey, do you know how I could use -X- weights to get as buff as you?" Or "Hey, looks like I gotta work on my biceps a little more!" True you'll have to pick your moment as to not disrupt them in their workout, but that could be a lot easier than it sounds. Try doing this before or after your workout, that way it's not likely to interfere with your mindset.

I'm so fucking jealous of you man- I'm a big fan of Canadian girls!

_________________
If You Want To Pick Up A Girl,

Keep Your Back Straight And Lift With Your Knees.

I know what you mean by getting in and out. I normally keep to myself and when I do converse, its always with dudes. And yes, Canadian girls are great, especially in university towns.

Today was a typical day with zero approaches. Woke up, ate, went to work, came home, ate dinner, left for practice, and now its bed time. I'm going to set a rule for myself: If I miss a day, I make up for it on the next day. Since my goal is 1 approach per day for the entire year, I need a minimum of two tomorrow.

I was exactly the same- a certain amount of approaches a day. And if i didn't meet my 'expected approach total' for the day, I judged it as a failed day.

My advice there is to not ever see it as a failed day... See it as a day that could've been better. If you try and make up for it the next day then remember that you could just be putting yourself under unnecessary pressure, and you might fold under your own expectation. Try to push the boat out, but keep it comfortable for yourself, that way is usually the best.

_________________
If You Want To Pick Up A Girl,

Keep Your Back Straight And Lift With Your Knees.

Well then I guess I won't consider this a failed day haha.

No approaches today. Hung out with bros, spoke with waitresses etc. but no real conversations. I use to always think being with groups of friends would make it easier to pick up, but I'm beginning to think riding solo makes things easier.

Sorry for no recent updates.

I'm now 1 month into my challenge with little to show for it. So far I haven't had any successful stories, but I have been making an effort to get out more and hang out with more people which must have some benefit towards my goals.

I purchased "the game" and some NLP book. Half way through the game now and I find it very interesting. This is another step towards my goals ... Knowledge is Power haha

This past Friday I took a big step by making my first bar approach ever. I was kind of bombed at this point, but I walked up to a group of 4 girls and introduced myself ... and then walked away haha. Failing is something I need to start doing so that I get use to it and stop caring.

Last night I was out with one of my friends who is absolutely spectacular at picking up. I think it may be a good idea to examine what he brings to the table and try to make some of those changes.

- He's good looking, more so than I am. Not something I need to worry about though, I'm confident with my appearance and believe I look better than most guys. I think peacocking is something I should consider though because I want to stand out.

- He's constantly smiling

- He's great at talking. My biggest problem is I'm bad at making continuous conversation with people. When I'm 1on1 with somebody, we often have moments of silence in our conversations.

- He talks about sex a lot (or related topics) and is touchy with girls, something I never do. He's a very nice guy but when it comes to girls he's always straight to the point.


My plan for now: Keep studying, take risks, and start talking a lot more (both guys and girls)(say whats on my mind instead of pondering whether or not its the right thing to say and miss my opportunity)

sup man..

Look up fluff talk and conversation threading for keeping a conversation going with a chick..works great and you dont have to think.. for example listen to her phrase and listen to the most important noun, or verb and use that as your next thread topic.. and in every sentence she says you again remember the most interesting or important word and then you start to steer the conversation by talking about emotions and feelings which women respond to as opposed to logic

Thanks Hypo, I'll look into fluff talk and threading.

No updates today. Hopefully by the end of the weekend I'll have some stories to share.