Hey, I'm 27 years old, and just got out of a 3 year relationship. I broke up with her out of jealousy stemming from an ex that started contacting her a month ago saying he loves her and never stopped thinking about her and wants to be with her. My jealousy like in most cases didn't help the situation and only egged him on more, and caused her to start second guessing us.

Well, a couple days after I broke up with her, I started being all "I miss you, we should work it out, bla bla bla". She said she needed some space, which I responded with more "I miss you we should work it out", which prompted her to say she is "tired of me fighting for her and that she officially chooses to be with the ex when he gets back from Afghanistan" (sometime in December). That us "not being together is for the better and I need to let go of her."

So I said fine, hope you have a nice life with him, get your stuff out of my house. 5 days later of NC, I was at the track this morning working out and I get a call from her saying she wants to meet up for lunch. I was just finishing up and was gonna get lunch anyways so I said sure why not.

We meet up, I am cool, calm, and collective; just chat and have fun and make her laugh. I told her she was right about this being for the better, but that we would be foolish to throw our friendship away. She then starts doing things she did in our relationship like calling me my pet name, meowing at me, and making big eyes and fluttering her lashes at me. I end the lunch with "Thanks for lunch it was a lot of fun, but I have to go cuz I have stuff I gotta do." We walk out to the parking lot and I say "thanks again for lunch, I'll talk you later", smiled, and left without hugging her.

I drive past her on the way home and I look over and rev my engine and she laughs and waves bye (we are both into racing cars).

So a few hours later I get a message from her on Facebook (we are not friends), and frankly I don't know what to make of it:

"Hey... sorry to randomly ask you to lunch today. I genuinely wanted to thank you for helping me pass the physical test (she is trying to become a cop). I'm sorry if it seemed weird. It was nice to talk to someone instead of just sitting alone at my mom's. I will get my things asap, even if it means hauling it around in my tiny car. You have been way to nice to me by allowing me to have lunch with you and by not just setting my things ablaze. Let me reiterate that nice guys don't always finish last. I know you'll find someone new who is better than I. i was surprised to hear you were at the track, I was on my way there if you were not available. If you are regularly going to be at the track, I would rather not take chances on running into you (get it "running"?! har har). I am weak willed and should not have met up with you today. Again, I appreciate your kindness. Enjoy your life, have fun with your friends, and no worries, my things will be gone soon enough."

What does it mean? Do I still have any chance of getting her back? Should I respond? Should I go NC again? Lol sorry I just am new to the whole make her jealous no contact style of getting someone back so I definitely need some advice.

Thanks!

Hi mate, i am totally with you on this situation where you are confused about whether toget back with her or not...... if you are totally new to the "how to get
your ex back" i would recommend you from a personal experience do try out the " Girl Friend Training Program" by Carlos Xuma... I have been through almost similar situation where my ex broke up with me from a 2 yrs relationship and given me the " you are a nice guy " line......

well, I can give you some immediate tips that might help you ...

1) Dont fall into the "Goodguy" TRAP - since she has taken the decision to end
it with you, trying to meet with you or talking to you will only make you feel worse and give her a chance to validate the breakup. All she is after right now is ways to get you pissed at her even more and for you to be the total JERK. If you let her communicate with you, she will get to you. She knows she has done wrong to you but she just doesnot want to live her life with the blame.... so if she gets you to badmouth her or somethin like that, only then she can forgive herself....


2) Go Cold - If I wer u, after that long msg that you recieved... i would hav just replied "i see". I have used two words or even one word replies before and they will hit her or just get her to think.....(to a woman this shows u'r time has value and you are buisy in your life). Do not reply or msg or call her for atleast 14 days straight.
No if's no but's, just do it. This will send her some signals and if she is confused abt you, she will b intrigued abt what's goin on in your life. She might evn turn up at your doorstep ...

3) Enjoy life and Have fun with friends - Use her suggestions to better your emotional situation and get yourself distracted. Whenever you hangout with friends
or in a social place, take loads of pictures (smart, funny, crazy) and post some on facebook regularly , better if you can make them your display pictures. That way
she can see that your life is genuinely better without her and you are having a lot of fun. If you have mutual friends with her, she will get to Know .......... talk to her mutual friends casually, but if they want to talk abt you two just tell them YOU are not interested to talk abt it........This will b good time to get into your hobbies and other passions in life....

4) The New Girl - After your 14 days of zero contact given that she still hasnt moved her stuffs from your place (highly unlikely), write her somethin like this.....
"your stuffs need to go, new ppl needs space"..... Get female friend/family member or anythin to play a GF or somethin... or just make her belive that her stuffs needs to go because some other Chick is moving IN.... this will totally get her attention....
one way or the other, you need HER to get her stuffs out ( REMEMBER - She walked out of this Relationship, SHE would need to carry HER baggage ) . Do not fall for the "Can you help me move" line....

Here are few of the effective techniques that you can apply to BETTER YOUR SELF and make HER think about Getting Back to You. I wish you all the best with moving your life ahead. If you can pull off these tips I am sure you will find some closure in your relationship. I wish you all the best.... keep me updated on u'r situation...

Cheers

Thanks! That seems like very good advice.

So she came over yesterday to get more of her stuff.. I said hi and she assured me she will be quick. After I saw her trip over some of her stuff I immediately realized she is gonna need help so I helped load some stuff into her car.

She then started apologizing about me having to help her load, and said she doesn't deserve my help and that I should have just burned all her stuff for what she did to me. I said no worries it's not a big of deal, and that it is for the better that she broke us off, and that it would be silly if I was mad or even no longer her friend anymore. I didn't really give her a chance to reply to that as I immediatly changed the subject back to me inspecting her car.

After that I helped put on a hood to her car that she had been keeping at the house (her old hood had a lot of dents). We kinda just talked and laughed and had a little fun while I had her help me put on the hood. After that I kinda lingered a little bit making idle chat (I realize I shouldn't have), then said I had something to do and she agreed she did too and I said bye and went in side.

I realize from your post I probably shouldn't have even helped her at all. Not ignored her, but maybe made something up like sorry I have some place to be in a half hour; here are some tools you can switch the hood yourself or something like that.

She said she is gonna try and stop before work tomorrow morning and get stuff, and then again after work to get stuff... I probably shouldn't be there huh? Or maybe get out of the shower when she comes with a nice shirt on and say I have "dinner plans with "a friend" in 30 minutes"?

Again thanks for the advice!

hey man, its never too late.. i m glad you you found my tips helpfull..
as for her comming to collect her stuff, well.. if i were you, i would not be at my place..
if she comes by and see u'r not available she will deffinately try to contact you...
in that case, i would go totally cold...

i understand you had a good laugh with her previously, but that sort of put you back into the "good guy" seat (Which You Dont Want To Be In). Let her stuffs b in your place... try to avoid her completely for atleast 4-5 days .. she may try to call u...
if she does, its better if you dont pick up.. incase she gets frustrated by not reaching you on phone, she might start texting you... let her text you a couple of times and then just reply back to her saying one word... "buisy"...

Hang in there mate. Do let me know, how its working for you..

Cheers

Confused:

In the time that has lapsed since I last posted.. I have been dating a new girl and trying to move on from my ex. This new girl is smart, sweet, very pretty, etc... BUT the downside is it's only been two weeks, and last night she said "I love you", which I pretended not to hear (I didn't know what else to do).

So just now my Ex came over to get more of her stuff... she notices that my room has been altered for 2 people, so she questions me and I admit to dating a girl. She flips out and tries to run out of the house and says basically have a nice life. So I chase her down and ask her why she is mad and well after 2 hours of talking, we both admit to really missing each other. The conversation ends with she would be happy if we were back together, but would be ok if we weren't, and that she doesn't know what she wants right now. She kisses me on the cheek and I leave, extremely confused lol.

Now I don't know what to do. My first thought is to go back to no contact and keep seeing the new girl... but the new girl is freaking me out on how fast she wants to take it, and I know in my heart I still love my ex and want to be with her. Very confused right now....