So I met this girl back in september during freshers week at university. I'm a final year and she's a first year. We hit it off on a night out and I ended up stealing a kiss in the club we were in.

I got her number and we ended up seeing quite a bit of each other due to the fact she joined my sports team and started to come out socially with us. Fast forward a few months and on a drunken night out we ended up kissing again. She informed me she'd come out of a year long relationship with an absolute idiot who had cheated on her. I don't think this was directed at me per se. I think it was just chit chat. Fast forward to February and I ended up having what I thought was going to be a one night stand with her. I wanted more, obviously but didn't want to push it. Anyway it wasn't a one night stand and after a few more nights together between Feb/March we got together properly and I asked her out.

Things we're going well. She's quite introvert, quite quiet, not open and not someone who talks about her feelings. I however, am the opposite. I noticed mid april things were changing, her body language was closed she didn't want to see as much of me and when asked if everything was ok she insisted yes on numerous occasions.

Things came to a head last week after a social night out with the sports team. She was visibily avoiding me, trying to maintain a distance and was going way, way overboard on the drink for her normal limits. After getting her outside I asked her, regardless of my feelings, regardless of what all of our friends though did she no longer want this relationship.

She burst into tears and told me that she knew it sounded cliché but I was the most perfect and nicest guy she'd ever met but something was wrong and she couldn't tell what. We went home and talked it out and in the end I got it out of her that she felt we were too serious too fast. She'd just returned from her home city after holidays and we'd spent 6 of 7 days together due to my car breaking down.

She decided she wanted to try and work things out and thats currently where we sit. We had a date yesterday which went fairly well but now I'm second guessing every move I make and its dragging me down with only 2 days to go until exams.

Can anyone suggest what to do and please bare in mind that finishing with her, at least me breaking it off, is fully off the cards.

Thanks.

I've been in this position a few times myself. Its like I was getting punished for having good game. This may not work out but give her exactly what she wants.

Take her out for a "first date." Meaning I'd literally take her out for a dinner and a movie... Why? Cause its cliche' but its sweet and what she wants. Hell even do things like order chicken, or act nervous around her. She wants to be romantized, she wants to be wined & dined some. She wants to experience those awkward date moments and have fun with you. AND that's the big key during these dates focus on having FUN!

Seriously go for the cliche first date that you can think of. Don't touch her too much during the date. ASK if you can hold her and ASK if you can kiss her at the end of your date...be a gentleman. ASK her if you can call her and take her out again... things like that. Ask her silly first date questions, but be serious when you need to be as well. Bring her flowers, and share a dessert with her. That is what she is really wanting from you.

I know, I know its hard for us as men to swallow our pride and regress to that point of the relationship but its that or loose her. Trust me, make this effort for her for a few dates. Play it up and enjoy your time with each other. Don't think of escalating too much past kissing. Hold SEX and FOREPLAY back for a while, be the prize, and make her feel like the prize too.

If things start heating up in a date say, "Woah...since we just started dating...I think we should both wait a little while, you're worth it!" Trust me this won't hinder you.

Hope all this helps out bro!

Jon[/

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Seems like sound advice.

Like I mentioned we had a date yesterday and we did end up having a kiss and holding hands but she's so introvert I'm not sure she could actually say no if she wanted to despite me giving the oppurtunity. When we got back to her flat I got the impression she expected me to come in, she didn't say it but then, she never would, she just walked straight into the lobby and held the door for me. I just told her i'd had a really nice time, gave her a hug, a kiss and left.

What I feel people need to know is that this girl plays a game. If I text she can take 2-3 hours to reply if its just chit chat despite, due to knowing her well, I know she has her phone sitting right on her lap 24/7 which puts a bit of a downer on things sometimes. I try to hold out on texting but at this volatile stage despite wanting to give her the space I feel she needs and I don't want to isolate her entirely.

Despite being quiet she is incredibly sarcastic, I will try being the gentleman next time I see her but if I say may I hold your hand I know she'll say "No" and her sarcasm is so frequent I can't tell when its a joke or not.

I know this sounds like a list of complaints but obviously I'm only putting across the bad things. She can be just as lovely.

Anyone else want to chip in?