Hi guys,

I'm writing this from my phone, so I will update it later with more details.

I discovered Pua when I was 20, learned some of the vocabulary, and never used any of it. Now, I'm 30, never had a girl like me in my life. I have a big case of oneitis preventing me from desiring any other girls.

I used to be high energy and funny, yet very low confident because I'm skinny. I can't believe it when a girl shows attraction, I think it's fake.

I had a big depression for 3 years because of my oneitis. Now I'm not the same anymore. I'm super low confidence about my job as well. I can't drive and I don't trust myself to work.

I'm looking to better myself as a person. Not to fuck girls, but to be a more fun and attractive person in general. I'm open to trying out stuff outside of my comfort zone. But my end goal is to pull that one girl.

Sounds like you have a lot to work on, but also sounds like you recognize your faults and you are willing to improve.

If I were you, I wouldn't put my focus on girls, but it is important to practice socializing. Try to go out at least once a week, and if you can't then just start talking more to strangers in public when you go about your day. Get used to chit-chatting with people, and then socializing will become more comfortable.

You said you were skinny, do you exercise? Maybe you should start going to the gym, and get a bit obsessive about it until you start to enjoy it. Once you start improving your physicality, then it's hard not to naturally become more confident.

As for driving and working, you need to man the fuck up bro. There is no reason to be that depressed that you can't drive or you can't find a job. And especially because of a girl or a "one-itis". Start by improving your focus.

Listen to how you speak to yourself. Ask yourself - would you ever speak to your friends in the same way? Definitely not, your friends would call you an asshole and leave you. So treat yourself like you are your own best friend. How do you feel about a best friend? You accept their faults, you don't judge them, and you HELP them. Be your own best friend, and then go from there.

Thanks for your answer and being polite. I'll give it a try.

I'm already planning on work and gym.

Good stuff. Exercise releases endorphins and will improve your mental mood. Even if it doesn't feel noticeable at first, once you get into a routine you will notice your mood improves.

If you encounter more specific questions along the way, feel free to ask

Hi Darty!!
It seems like you have some inner work to do.
I m kind of new to pick-up, but I will try to give you 1 tip. When my lazy friends don't want to go out, I take my phone, my keys, my headphones, some money(in case I m hungry) and I just wander the city endlessly, this usually happens at night (pretty late, like midnight). I m not going to any clubs or anything but I walk past them and I just feel so happy to see so many strangers having fun, it raises my mood a lot. I know, I don't have the balls yet, to walk in front of a girl and talk to her, kiss her or set up a date. I however, think that little steps are important and going for a walk once or twice a week in a crowded area will increase your confidence a lot, especially if you are a hard case like me.
Keep improving yourself man.

Hey thanks for the reply. Very positive vibes.

I was in vacation a week ago, and at some point people were dancing in a bar. I thought it was like a dancefloor or something. So I just went there and danced.

Turns out it was a closed group and they wanted nothing to do with me. But after five minutes of doing my own thing, other people joined in , chairs were moved and it became the dancefloor I was hoping for.

Meanwhile my friend was sitting somewhere and didn't care to look at me during that time. So even after that small success, I just went back to her table, disappointed.

I'm having this internal conflict. On one side, naturals says taking care of yourself, going to the gym, is good for attraction. But on the other hand, some Pua stuff says looks don't matter and it's all internal game.

My personal belief always has been " she likes me as a great friend, if I wasn't so skinny she would be into me"

That belief gave me hope and positivity. Although I'm open to it being wrong, I don't really know how to replace it. If it isn't looks, then it can be anything about my inner game.

The truth is somewhere in between.

Looks DO matter, but they should not be holding you back. You can improve your looks and you should definitely be involved with gym or fitness in some form, even for your own personal well-being.

You should always be working on yourself, and that includes your grooming and appearance.

I'm not sure what inner game is, propperly, but the one thing I'm sure of is that when you find qualities about yourself you will, in face of all adversities always fall only as low as you percieve yourself to be. If, in that moment you can honestly say to yourself that...
I have still read a hundred books
I still speak italian
I can still make the best roast potato spinach brew banana icecream
I can stil program
I can still run for 30 minutes straight
etc... it will make getting up much easier. As far as I know healthy is attractive. My point in this slight distinction is that when you are rejected you will feel unattractive, but your health will be a fact, undisturbed by some woman's opinion. My own basic metric for health is when I consider myself to be able to take care of myself. I don't have to be a war machine but I can carry what I need to, run where I want to and fight when I have to... and I haven't even been put into a fight of any real consequence... kind of bothers me.

Coming back to your perception of self-worth. Women are attracted to bodies, but what really decides whether she will want to be with you is all in her head. There is a video on youtube about a lesbian who went undercover and her description of female sexuality is brief, but quite revealing - when straight women found out she was not a man they were still willing to pursue the relationship. Now that tells you a lot of how a woman thinks, and you can use that.

As for your oneitis... I feel for you. I'm not sure exactly how this goes but while you are trying to get her attention it sounds to me that she may find someone else whose attention she will get. I don't want to be a downer but it just sounds unlikely. Definitely worth a shot though.

i wasn't much better after breakup with my ex,fucked up any interaction with any girl if she showed interest,i started with routines,do this do that etc.
then i got comfortable with this,few months later i closed my first girl (traveled for 3 hours for meet up) and it was worth it.
after that it all went easier and,until recently,pretty much effortless,it is now when i need to step up,since i got a bit rusty do to not going out meeting anyone for months,only good thing about it was that i closed 3 girls,but it wasn't from approach,they actually approached me more or less

Welcome to the forum:

Heres a few solid links to get you started:

pua-lounge/topic190620.html - Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

closing-and-day/topic189168.html - 5 Quick Tips For A Great First Date

approaching-and-opening/topic190187.html - Simple Secrets To Attraction w/ Eddie Fews

Let me know if you have any questions.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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Thanks for all the replies.

I'm still working on the gym, I like it.

Gonna start thinking about jobs soon.

My oneitis is in a solid relationship.. it's gonna be hard to do anything. Even a few years ago it was already hard to make any progress when she wasn't serious.

Im open to giving some girls a chance, but my end goal is quite clear. Got to work on those smaller steps first.

I've been also reading some red pill stuff. Most of it sounds like Pua, with the main difference being that Pua sounds more magical where redpill is more about understanding reality.

I'm far from closing anyone, but I'm still a bit nervous about my first time. Should I say it or not ? Considering I'm 30 :p maybe it's better if I don't say anything.

Im open to giving some girls a chance, but my end goal is quite clear. Got to work on those smaller steps first.
i like this one

I've been also reading some red pill stuff. Most of it sounds like Pua, with the main difference being that Pua sounds more magical where redpill is more about understanding reality.
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