First I will tell you a little about myself and this is going be difficult and I am not looking for any sympathy but I do need help. I was raised in a very religious household with teachings that is was wrong to have sex before marriage. I was not even allowed to date or kiss girls unless I was planning to date. I could only date girls that were in the same church. Dating girls outside of church was also looked down upon. Long story short. I was a virgin until the age of 27 and ended up marrying a girl in my church who was also the first girl I ever had sex with. Sine I had to choose from within the church she was average looking and taller than me. We were married for 10 years and it ended up with her cheating on me with a guy she knew from high school and now we are divorced. I am now 43 years old and I am so terrible with picking up girls that I have only had sex with about 4 girls in my entire life. Keep in mind though that I never cheated on my ex-wife and got divorced when I was 39. So the last three girls have been over the past several years. I wish I could be with a different girl every month if that were possible. I regret not knowing what I do now about picking up girls. I have learned so much and yet I am still not able to pick up attractive girls. Sure, I can get the desperate ones but that is not making me happy. Sometimes I get lucky and have a hot young girl flirting with me but I was insecure and did not ask her for her number thinking she is too young or too good for me. I want to change. I have bought books, audio and video training programs to improve myself. I want to make up for lost time. I am not getting any younger and I am getting older and less attractive physically as I age. I am going to the gym to keep in shape but I still do not know how to dress to impress. That is something I am trying to figure out on my own but I just don't have a sense of style. I tend to run out of things to say to girls and I always seem to fail to close the deal thinking of some reason she might object or making an excuse that other people around will judge me. So I am hoping someone out there can please take me under their wing and help me to become a stud with women. Maybe I lost out on being able to have sex with a hot young twenty something year old girl. However, I think with pickup and seduction I can still get hot girls my age or younger. Heck, sometimes I see young girls practically half my age hitting on me and flirting with me but I don't want to come off as a creep so I make the choice for them and bail. I was raised to be a nice guy and polite. Its hard to overcome ingrained habits. Well, this was hard but its the first step to recognize my problem and do something about it. I appreciate any advice out there. I am at a loss on how, when and where to pick up girls. After the approach or opener, what do I say to keep the conversation going? I have tried telling stories and making small talk but what if she is not making eye contact with me and she is not asking me any questions?

Welcome to the forum man.

You wouldn't believe how common this story is around here. Religious parents, suppressed sexuality, now wanting to get into the game. etc. etc. Many guys have already broken through it, and you can be next.

Before worrying about what to "say next" it is important to get comfortable with the idea of approaching. You have to build the social muscles that you haven't been using your entire life. Its likely that you're not just going to go out there and hit a home run in a major league on your first swing. You want to go out and swing a few times first, get a feel for the bat, just try it out and then come back for help.

Go say " hi " to 10 women. And then introduce yourself to them, while reaching out your hand for a shake. Come back when thats done and we can proceed to step 2.

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Thank you for this. That makes perfect sense to me. I will approach 10-20 women this week and introduce myself. I wont worry about what to say after the introduction. Just like a guy trying to bat can't worry if he is going to make it to first base after the hit. Just like in baseball, not all batters make it to first base even if they hit the ball. However, if he has no practice batting or if he is scared to hit the ball then he is never ever going to get to first base much less anything else. I understand that analogy perfectly. I will work on approach and get back to you when I have some practice. Thanks again.

There are girls in the world. They are horny. They want to meet a cool guy. They want to netflix and chill. They are no different than you. Use these facts to your advantage. Don't buy the corporate bullshit that puts girls over boys. It's been untrue forever, and even moreso now that every1 is connected by their phones. Be chill and realize that no girl is better than you. You are equal to every human on earth. Know this.

That's awesome man. Good stuff, good stuff. I have felt that way. Thinking girls are better than I am. Especially if she is hot. I have been out there practicing approaching girls with varied reactions. I tried walking up to a girl and asking for directions. Then walk with her for a moment as she shows me the way since we are both going in that direction. Then I reach out my hand and tell her my name. She shakes my hand and then without telling me her name jets off quickly with a smile on her face. I also had the reaction of walking up and introducing myself and then having her either not shake my hand or avoiding looking at me while I am obviously standing right in front of her and speaking to her. Very awkward and made me feel insignificant when I should be thinking that she is no better than me. Maybe these girls had boyfriends, maybe they were lesbians, maybe they thought I was too old or ugly. I can't read minds. I will keep at it. Working on approaching no matter what the reaction she gives me. The funny thing is that I have had girls look at me, make eye contact and stare. I have also had then do that and then smile at me. These were also hot girls that were practically 10-15 years younger than me or other times my age. So I don't get it. On the other hand I have had average girls my age or younger act like speaking or making eye contact with me is a mortal sin. I have found that younger less experienced girls in their upper twenties to mid thirties seem much more approachable and easier to talk to but at the same time I wonder if I am coming off as the creepy old guy hitting on a young girl. I am 43 but people tell me I look like I am in my upper 30's. I have had women my age (40-45) ask me how old I was when I was flirting with them and when I told them I was 43 they did not believe me and thought they were too old for me. I had to convince them I really was 43 before they would consider me because they wanted a man their age or older. I have had 24 year old girls (about 20 years younger than me) that are almost a perfect 10 get off the subway with me (after a great 45 minute conversation), hug me, ask for my number and ask about my plans for the weekend. Then as I walk away and look back they wave, smile, and have these puppy dog look in their eyes as I am walking away. Was this because she sees me as a father figure and friend or as a potential lover? But other times its the complete opposite. They may even move seats to be further away from me. I am clean, showered, flossed and brushed. No strong scents. Its not odor so what was it I said or did to warrant being treated like that? Usually I did not say anything but only smiled in their direction while maintaining eye contact.
I am also here to learn how to handle situations like the ones I mentioned above and when to make a move, face the consequences, good or bad.
I have not yet finished cold approaching 10-20 women yet. I am still working on approaching several girls a day until I reach at least 10 so I can obtain further training in PUA. I will let you all know when I have approached at least 10 highly attractive girls. Most of these numbers I will be able to obtain over this weekend. Thank you for your words of encouragement and support.

Yeah man just rap with her. See if she seems cool. Scrap the formalities (my name is, hand shaking etc.) Keep the hand shaking for your more formal business relationships.

ANYBODY and Everyone is invited to help with this. I need all the help I can get.

Thank you and I appreciate the help. As I mentioned before that I was raised religiously and told it was bad to date a girl unless you plan to marry. So I never dated or even talked to girls most of my life. Then I got married for 10 years and divorced a cheating wife. Now its been 5 years since the divorce and I have NOT been on a single date. I have had 3 one night stands over the past few years but nothing more. I am telling you all this for 3 reasons. I have practiced getting over my fear of approaching women and I am very surprised at all the great interactions I have had with pretty women. The interactions may have been very brief short conversations but the girls were very nice to me and seemed pretty cool. I did not feel any rejection but I also did not ask for a number or to meet again. I was only focusing on getting over approach anxiety and fear. The prettier the girl the harder it was but I did it over and over again.

Now I am ready for the next step in my progress and hopefully this will help me get laid. I have serious blue balls and my wrist hurts from jacking off thinking about having sex with a real girl. I have not had sex in over a year! I have not had a date with a girl in over 5 years. My confidence is way up now because in my interactions I had a very pretty sexy girl tell me I was a good looking guy. Also, when I approached girls none of them were rude or blew me off which made approaching them easier since what I imagined would happen in my mind is not what actually happened. The girls were nice and at the end of the conversations they wished me a good day and said see you around.

1) After I approach a girl or if a girl approaches me. What do I talk about? Do you have some openers that can help me start a longer conversation? Even after that I usually run flat on conversation because I have not used my social skills on a long time and it gets awkward when the silence occurs and neither one of us say anything.

For example. I went to a club last night and a girl approached and opened me. She was super hot. She walked up to me and got real close and asked me what I was drinking. I told her I was drinking a Long Island. There was a moment of silence and then she asked me if it was good. Another silence. Then she asked me how much it was. Another silence. Then she touched my arm and said it was nice talking to me and walked away. I had this happen again with another girl and again with two girls. Yes, I swear, three girls at different times came to me and asked me what I was drinking and I lost all three because I did not know what to say next after telling them what I was drinking.

2) I finally did it. I have my first date in years. I picked up a girl and asked her if she would like to have drinks with me sometime. She said yes. God, she told me she has a trainer and regularly does Pilates with low weight resistance. She has a perfectly sculpted body. Big perky tits and a sculpted round ass. She has long dirty blonde hair and she is super pretty. She told me she likes to party, dance, and goes to clubs. She is sexy as fuck. I am going to meet her this Tuesday 20th after work at a restaurant brewery that makes hand crafted home made beers. She is really into me. When I met her a couple of days ago she was sharing her drink with me and shared a lot of personal information with me. When I meet her for the date this Tuesday what do I do?

3) On my first date with her. Do I hold her hand? Do I try to move her from one place to another? Do I kiss her at the end of the date? Do I make plans for another date before party ways or make plans for another date the next day by phone? Do I call or text her afterwards? Fuck. I have not been on a date for years and I do not know what I am doing. I am screwed. She suggested the place we meet and told me that she lives a couple of blocks from the place we are meeting. I do work the next day but should I try to get her back to her place and Fuck her since she lives only a couple of blocks from our date location?

Thank you in advance for your time in reading and helping.