Hello everyone,

The past 30 minutes I have taken the time to read some interesting stuff and I feel it's time to introduce myself. I'm a 20 year old student from the Netherlands, I live in a city where women are scarce and due that scarcity they are no fun to talk with.

I failed in some aspects of life in what I thought to be the most important ones, and with every failure a chunk of my confidence was taken away. It has now been a year since my ex-girlfriend dumped me, and I still haven't had any since. It seemed to be that I had lost interest in women, which might had something to do with the crazy and way too needy girl I was dating. I became sort of unhappy and had lost interest in women, but the sexual interest grew every month. My idea is making it a game again, play the game and you'll be interested in the game. Not necessarily in what the women are talking about but the routines, openers and so on and of course the woman's touch. Also I am glad that this is one thing where you can't fail. Of course one might not succeed to lay from time to time, but you can't fail the game. I'm stoked already.

When I talk to a girl I'm another guy than I normally am, I would like to change this because I think it is a sign of discomfort. Another con of mine is that I'm scared of falling in love with the girl, which I do very fast. Or maybe those are two cons. Either way it's starting to annoy me. It comes down to this; I would say I'm pretty smooth with women until it gets to the point of sexual/kissing stuff. Approaching is no problem for me, although I might be able to improve this significantly.
Another important thing is that I tend to overthink life, which basically gets me unhappy all the time. I want to enjoy, downsize the philosophy crap.

I would like to thank you for your share on the forum!

Cheers,

Ruddels

Welcome to the forum!
I'm glad you are interested in gaming! But we do have to listen to what they talk about. Every great player on here will tell you having them talk and not treating them like objects is a key fundamental part of game.
It is the Halloween day and you are talking to this girl Becky in school, at lunch. She is alright. You don't really see anything special about her. You ask her what she's eating because you were curious, and she tells you. Then you guys start talking about your favorite subjects and sports etc. She smiles at you and you smile at her. You both agree to meet up for lunch tomorrow. It's now Halloween night. So you begin to dress yourself up. You have the right mask (your opener), the right weapon prop (your kino), and the right body suit (your dhvs story's etc). You're a whole different person right?? Then you meet a person on the street that you want to go trick or treating with, a girl, named Amber! But she doesn't have a costume... It just wasn't her thing. But you like her... and think shes pretty cool! So you both agree to go trick or treating (regardless she has no costume). Now, some other people have started trick or treating with you too as well, as you walk around your neighborhood. Some you've asked have said no thanks. But this Amber girl thinks you are really cool and wants to hang out tomorrow at school. You agree. However tomorrow when she sees you, and grabs lunch with you, she realizes you're not the same person you were in that costume! So she gets up and leaves you. The girl you know named Becky, however, who didn't go trick or treating, pulls up a seat next to you, and smiles saying hi and hugs you asking you if you want to play soccer later.

So. The moral of this story is that you want to be the real you when you go out talking to women. Let them see that vulnerable side of you, as well as your passions, and they will love you. Routines, openers, etc, work, but if you are not the same guy the next day, as you were on the first, that relationship most likely will not last, because you were essentially lying to her from the start! Mark Manson explains this really well in his book called Models. I could go on and on on this. But remember there is beauty in truth, and truth in beauty. As long as you can say what is on your mind to a girl, and not lie, that is really almost all there is to game, and with this you will find that person you really connect with.

_________________
---Red's Journal
Motivation Mindset="If I can do it, it can be done"
No Fap Mindset="If I fap, I will turn into a god damn retard"

Exactly what I was thinking about too, unfortunately it's harder than you think. It all should get more natural. When I was out yesterday I noticed approaching groups is a little harder for me than approaching girls alone. I focused more on groups after reading some books and on stuff on this website. I also have been focusing on my eye contacts, and I catch myself looking downward after the eye contact alot. And all the time I think darn it don't look down... don't look down, but only if that's the only thing I concentrate on I manage not to look downwards afterwards. I'll get into that book then, might help me figuring it out! Thanks for your anecdote, it was nice to read.

You're welcome man!
Also one thing that might help is to have a list of what you want to accomplish in your interactions in your back pocket. This has helped me out. It might help you? Either way keep it up!

_________________
---Red's Journal
Motivation Mindset="If I can do it, it can be done"
No Fap Mindset="If I fap, I will turn into a god damn retard"