How's it going guys? I've never been one for introductions as I am extremely introverted and I generally feel awkward around people most of the time. Like most of us, I am on this forum trying to change my life for the best. I feel that this medium is perhaps the best way I can express and grow into a person I truly want to be. A little back story, I'm 23 years old right now. I just got out of the Marine Corps last year, and I'm a full time psychology major at my local university. I work out regularly and I've been called handsome (though I don't really believe it. I honestly think I am really ugly). This summer was an eye opener for me. If you could of been there most of you would of slapped me as hard as you could for all the mistakes I made. One of my buddies from the Corps and I decide to go on a cruise trip to Cozumel, Mexico for 4 days. I thought this would be a great stress relief just because I've been taking summer classes and I needed a break after Experimental Psychology (haha). Fast-forward to day 2. I'm at the bar getting blitzed out of my mind when I start talking to this beautiful Russian girl. I thought at the most I could at least entertain her before she decides to reject me, but to be honest we hit it off. She and I liked the same type of music, and I tried Style's answer 3 questions incorrect routine and I believed I expressed my value somewhat. I didn't realize it at the time, but she was with her mother whom was also getting hit on by a complete stranger. The mother (before I begin) was an ex-Russian supermodel with the most beautiful fake tits imaginable! The stranger and I looked at each other and without speaking one word played interference in order to separate them. After some more talk, the mother/daughter invited us back to their room tomorrow for some more partying. Again fast-forward to day 3. I enter 15 minutes late because I thought it would look desperate if I were to arrive any earlier right? The wing-man from the other night was there and the mother and daughter were completely wasted. The mother decides to go on the balcony with the other guy and I'm alone in the bedroom with the daughter. I start feeling her up and she was down with it but said she couldn't go any further because of her mother. I thought that was a good enough excuse so I just start making out with her and continue to founded her 36DDs. They decide they want to get drunk some more and we end up going back to the club. We drink a lot more and the daughter throws up all over the place. Like the good person I think I am, I clean her up and take her back to her room. I take off her shoes and tuck her in bed. I go back to the club and tell the mother that her daughter is ok (pretty much I didn't rape her don't fucking sue me) kind of thing and am told to come back tomorrow. I do all my dry cleaning shave up everything and proceed to generally be clean as I expect to have freaky Russian sex. I come back and the daughter is completely opposite towards me and I have no idea why (besides she wasn't fucked up). I remember Mystery stating that alcohol enables you to act on your inhibitions or something along those lines so I continue to try and mess with her. It goes horrible. It turns out instead of partying on the last day that she wanted to go to sleep because she had a long car ride the next day (this was the last day of the cruise). She gives me her cell phone number and that was it. I was in shock. I absolutely lost it. The next day I didn't get out of bed, I kept thinking how much of a fucking loser I am and that I should probably not be alive. It hit me really really hard guys. I was in tears to be honest with you and I drank alone in my hotel room listening to Eve-6 (it was that fucking bad). It was at that point that I decided to do something about it. I am tired of being a fucking loser. Yeah I have a 4.0 GPA, yeah I'm in great health, but I'm depressed. I looked on the internet and I am currently reading The Red Queen by Matt Ridley, and Influence: The Art of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. I also have most of Mystery's stuff. I know probably most of you won't read this as it is too long, but I just wanted to share my story with everyone else. I hope one day to be as good as most are on this forum.

Thank you,
Omnia

You came into the chatroom and left without saying a word when I said hi! Well, anyway.

Great to have you here, Omnia.

Happy 4th of July and thank for you for your service in the marines.

I once felt the same desperation you felt but there are resources here that will definitely help. You came to the right place.